George Lucas To Produce Special Edition Blu-Ray of "Das Boot"

Subnuts · 09-02-11, 08:26 PM

Hold onto your original releases, folks. This man won't stop until every movie ever made has been butchered and replaced with his "original vision." I just got this list of changes he's proposing for the 2015 "special edition" of Das Boot from a friend of mine over on blu-ray.com:

Rita Cadillac has been removed entirely from the opening scene, and replaced with a new computer-animated dance scene and a musical number called U-boat Rocks.
All of the alcoholic beverages in the opening sequence have been replaced with sugar-free Red Bull.
A deleted scene has been reinstated where the Captain meets with a CGI rendition of Admiral Donitz and comically steps on his feet.
When the Captain, Werner, and the Chief are walking to U-96 in the submarine pen, a giant computer-animated rendition of a German soldier's rear end obscures the screen for two seconds.
The Captain now yells "NEEEEEEEEEEIIINNNN!!!" before retrieving his gun when Johann has his breakdown.
After the attack on the convoy, numerous shots of massive crowds across the globe celebrating the sinkings of the three ships have been inserted.
When U-96 is running through the Straights of Gibraltar, the Millennium Falcon can be seen for a split second.
The prop girl that can seen momentarily after the boat hits the bottom at Gibraltar has been digitally replaced by Salacious Crumb.
The British planes that bomb La Rochelle have been replaced with dozens of identical CGI B-29s.
Depressing theatrical ending replaced with upbeat finale where Lt. Werner reunites with the ghosts of Der Alte, Commander Richardson, and Captain Vasili Borodin, who have all become one with The Force.
All of Klaus Wennemann's dialogue has been overdubbed by Harvey Keitel.
Thanks to painstaking color restoration efforts, all of the red nighttime lights are now a historically-accurate pink.
More screaming has been added to the depth charge attacks.
In the distant shots of U-96 on the surface, the eyes of the lookouts now blink.
All of the depth charge explosions now have flat, glowing rings around them.
The entire interior of the U-96 has been digitally replaced using the most advanced CGI available.
All original copies of the film, theatrical, director's cut, or miniseries, will be burned and buried in a gigantic pit in New Mexico within 60 days of the Special Edition's release.
All of the water has been replaced with moisture-free computer-animated water. (George Lucas doesn't like water. It's cold, it's wet, and it gets everywhere.)

Platapus · 09-02-11, 08:45 PM

Does the crippled tanker also shoot first?

frau kaleun · 09-02-11, 09:13 PM

Stealhead · 09-03-11, 01:53 AM

The Captain now yells "NEEEEEEEEEEIIINNNN!!!" before retrieving his gun when Johann has his breakdown.

Because Walkie-Talkies where invented after WWII they decided not to replace all guns with walkie-talkies as they did to the cops and government agents in E.T. so the Captain will now grab the Enigma Machine when Johan gets up set.

Oberon · 09-03-11, 05:34 AM

IIRC wasn't it B-17s that bombed La Rochelle anyway.

Jimbuna · 09-03-11, 06:50 AM

Don't see myself rushing out to buy it.

Dowly · 09-03-11, 06:53 AM

Speaking of George Lucas: Howard the Duck and... sigh.. ducktits (and this is an PG movie

):

Howard313 · 09-04-11, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dowly

Speaking of George Lucas: Howard the Duck and... sigh.. ducktits (and this is an PG movie

):

Ahh, the movie everyone relates me to, Howard the duck, also the beginning of the fall of George Lucas. How I loathe thee.

EDIT: You know if you wanted to bring up Nostalgia Critic and George Lucas together I'm surprised you didn't go with the Star Wars Christmas Special review he did, although I'm willing to believe it was an act of mercy that you decided against it.

Reece · 09-04-11, 11:50 PM

Wow!! I'm totally sucked in!!

This is bad news indeed!

Falkirion · 09-05-11, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard313

Ahh, the movie everyone relates me to, Howard the duck, also the beginning of the fall of George Lucas. How I loathe thee.

EDIT: You know if you wanted to bring up Nostalgia Critic and George Lucas together I'm surprised you didn't go with the Star Wars Christmas Special review he did, although I'm willing to believe it was an act of mercy that you decided against it.

I believe you'll find GL will give you a blank look and ask "What christmas special" if you bring that up mate.

Crécy · 09-05-11, 01:40 AM

Finally!

Dowly · 09-05-11, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard313

Ahh, the movie everyone relates me to, Howard the duck, also the beginning of the fall of George Lucas. How I loathe thee.

EDIT: You know if you wanted to bring up Nostalgia Critic and George Lucas together I'm surprised you didn't go with the Star Wars Christmas Special review he did, although I'm willing to believe it was an act of mercy that you decided against it.

I didn't think it was THAT bad. I mean, He-Man CS was pretty darn bad.

Apparently, GL is making changes AGAIN to the upcoming BluRay Star Wars box. This time he adds things like Darth Vader screaming the ridiculously
idiotic "Noooooooo" from RotS as he kills the Emperor in the end of RotJ.
Well played, Georgie...

joea · 09-05-11, 04:17 AM

Well if I wanted to be pedantic I couold point out Star Wars is like modern mythology and like the ancient myths there were different versions of what the great heroes of old (Hercules, Jason and the Argonauts) got up to.

Quote:

Some said Han and Greedo shot at the same time, others said Greedo shot first, there are even elder wise ones who whisper that in fact Han shot first.

Or I could just say George is a silly person who needs to be kept as far away from the films as possible.

kraznyi_oktjabr · 09-05-11, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joea

Or I could just say George is a silly person who needs to be kept as far away from the films as possible.

You would need loony bin on small rocky island somewhere middle of ocean. Preferably somewhere nearby Antarctic surrounded by waters with substantial shark population.

Ofcourse Millenium Falcon turning up would spoil this scheme.

Howard313 · 09-05-11, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dowly

Apparently, GL is making changes AGAIN to the upcoming BluRay Star Wars box. This time he adds things like Darth Vader screaming the ridiculously
idiotic "Noooooooo" from RotS as he kills the Emperor in the end of RotJ.
Well played, Georgie...

Yes, among other things, blinking Ewoks, Yoda in A New Hope (Don't quote me on that one), and redubbed lines. I heard fans are even planning to form a boycott.

Lucky for me I'm too cheap for Blu-ray so I'll stick to my dvd copies.

09-02-11, 08:26 PM	#1
Subnuts The Old Man Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 1,658 Downloads: 14 Uploads: 0	George Lucas To Produce Special Edition Blu-Ray of "Das Boot" Hold onto your original releases, folks. This man won't stop until every movie ever made has been butchered and replaced with his "original vision." I just got this list of changes he's proposing for the 2015 "special edition" of Das Boot from a friend of mine over on blu-ray.com: Rita Cadillac has been removed entirely from the opening scene, and replaced with a new computer-animated dance scene and a musical number called U-boat Rocks. All of the alcoholic beverages in the opening sequence have been replaced with sugar-free Red Bull. A deleted scene has been reinstated where the Captain meets with a CGI rendition of Admiral Donitz and comically steps on his feet. When the Captain, Werner, and the Chief are walking to U-96 in the submarine pen, a giant computer-animated rendition of a German soldier's rear end obscures the screen for two seconds. The Captain now yells "NEEEEEEEEEEIIINNNN!!!" before retrieving his gun when Johann has his breakdown. After the attack on the convoy, numerous shots of massive crowds across the globe celebrating the sinkings of the three ships have been inserted. When U-96 is running through the Straights of Gibraltar, the Millennium Falcon can be seen for a split second. The prop girl that can seen momentarily after the boat hits the bottom at Gibraltar has been digitally replaced by Salacious Crumb. The British planes that bomb La Rochelle have been replaced with dozens of identical CGI B-29s. Depressing theatrical ending replaced with upbeat finale where Lt. Werner reunites with the ghosts of Der Alte, Commander Richardson, and Captain Vasili Borodin, who have all become one with The Force. All of Klaus Wennemann's dialogue has been overdubbed by Harvey Keitel. Thanks to painstaking color restoration efforts, all of the red nighttime lights are now a historically-accurate pink. More screaming has been added to the depth charge attacks. In the distant shots of U-96 on the surface, the eyes of the lookouts now blink. All of the depth charge explosions now have flat, glowing rings around them. The entire interior of the U-96 has been digitally replaced using the most advanced CGI available. All original copies of the film, theatrical, director's cut, or miniseries, will be burned and buried in a gigantic pit in New Mexico within 60 days of the Special Edition's release. All of the water has been replaced with moisture-free computer-animated water. (George Lucas doesn't like water. It's cold, it's wet, and it gets everywhere.) __________________ My Amazon.com reviews

09-02-11, 08:45 PM	#2
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,369 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Does the crippled tanker also shoot first? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

09-03-11, 06:50 AM	#6
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,539 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Don't see myself rushing out to buy it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

09-04-11, 11:50 PM	#9
Reece CINC Pacific Fleet Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Down Under Posts: 34,709 Downloads: 171 Uploads: 0	Wow!! I'm totally sucked in!! This is bad news indeed! __________________ *Sub captains go down with their ship!*

09-05-11, 01:40 AM	#11
Crécy Grey Wolf Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Dark forest Posts: 793 Downloads: 316 Uploads: 0	Finally! __________________ “Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.” -Henry David Thoreau

09-02-11, 09:13 PM	#3
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0

09-03-11, 01:53 AM	#4
Stealhead Navy Seal Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Kentucky Posts: 5,421 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	The Captain now yells "NEEEEEEEEEEIIINNNN!!!" before retrieving his gun when Johann has his breakdown. Because Walkie-Talkies where invented after WWII they decided not to replace all guns with walkie-talkies as they did to the cops and government agents in E.T. so the Captain will now grab the Enigma Machine when Johan gets up set.

09-03-11, 05:34 AM	#5
Oberon Lucky Jack Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,976 Downloads: 61 Uploads: 20	IIRC wasn't it B-17s that bombed La Rochelle anyway.

09-03-11, 06:53 AM	#7
Dowly Lucky Jack Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 25,052 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	Speaking of George Lucas: Howard the Duck and... sigh.. ducktits (and this is an PG movie ):