How to provoke the traffic police

[AdeptCharge]

Having been pulled over in your motor vehicle..... Police -will you turn of your ignition, and step out of the vehicle for me, is this your car sir? (YES) Do you know the registration number? (YES, THEN PAUSE FOR SOME TIME) Well what is it then? (IT IS THE MARK IN WHICH THE VEHICLE IS DISTINGUISHED FROM OTHER VEHICLES BY THE DRIVER VEHICLE LICENSING AUTHORITY, DVLA, AND MAY THUS BE IDENTIFIED BY THE CENTRAL COMPUTER AT SWANSEA). Mike! assistance please we got a comedian. How fast do you think you were going then? (IF I WERE TO RELY ENTIRELY ON THE ACCURACY OF THE CARS SPEEDOMETER, I WOULD SAY THAT I WAS TRAVELLING AT 27 MILES PER HOUR AT THE MOMENT THAT I PASSED YOUR STATIONARY VEHICLE). We clocked you at 45-50, you were speeding along! Mike, yes pushing on you were. (NO. IMPOSSIBLE, ALLOW ME TO ELUCIDATE). (I PULLED AWAY FROM THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS WHICH WE SHALL REFER TO AS 'X' NOW, MY STARTING VELOCITY WAS 'U' WHICH EQUALS NAUGHT, ACCELERATING AT A RATE OF 'A' METERS PER SECOND SQUARED, TO REACH POINT 'Y' AT TERMINAL VELOCITY 'V' IN TIME 'T'. WE OF COURSE ASSUME CONSTANT ACCELERATION. 3 MINS LATER... THIS OF COURSE DOES NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE GEARING RATIOS OF THE VEHICLE, BUT THE ACCURACY WOULD NOT BE AFFECTED BY MORE THAN 01 IE MILE PER HOUR PLUS OR MINUS 10% SO EVEN ASSUMING AN ACCURACY OF 98% FOR THE CO-EFFICIENT OF FRICTION ON A WET SURFACE.... 2 MINS LATER... SO 'V' IS LESS THAN, OR EQUAL TO TWENTY SEVEN MILES PER HOUR. WELL WITHIN THE SPEED LIMIT). SMASH!!! Here your head lights bust. (I HAVE JUST WITNESSED YOU DELIBERATELY BREAK IT WITH YOUR TRUNCHEON, FORENSIC TESTS WILL NO DOUBT PROVE THIS). Its an offence to drive a motor vehicle in that state. (INDEED BUT I HAVE A SPARE HEADLIGHT IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT). Right I've had enough of this your going into the back of the special van that is on its way. Hmmm... ( I FEAR A FAMILIAR SCENARIO IN WHICH I WILL BE SYSTEMATICALLY BEATEN WITHIN THE CONFINES OF THE VEHICLE, OUT OF SIGHT OF THE PUBLIC AND CONSEQUENTLY MY INJURIES BLAMED ON A FICTITIOUS ACCIDENT INVOLVING STAIRS AT THE POLICE STATION, EVIDENCE WILL BE FALSIFIED TO BACK UP THIS STORY, I WILL SUBSEQUENTLY BE JAILED FOR ASSAULTING AN POLICE OFFICER AND RESISTING ARREST.

[Dowly]

My eyes bled a bit.

[Herr-Berbunch]

Haven't read a post of yours for a while.

So, did this happen recently? And are you the person in Swindon with some 39 points on licence?

[krashkart]

Some proper formatting would help greatly. But overall a very amusing post.

[Ducimus]

All i see is a big wall of text with the caps lock key on.

[AdeptCharge]

They could bleed more, ... having thus been sent to hard work detail in prison for above mentioned charges, on observing a rather large muscular inmate breaking rocks you could say... A-hem (now if I may suggest, since lines of stress run perpendicular to the strata in a sedimentary rock such as granite, a more efficient method of fracture would be to strike the rock parallel to the plane of its weakness, always strike the weakest point, pointing your finger ie here!) I am sure one will bleed more.

[Jimbuna]

All I can add is thank God I never met you on the road

[AdeptCharge]

Originally Posted by Herr-Berbunch

Haven't read a post of yours for a while.

I have not posted of late. By while I surmise you are relating to time! The abstract fundamental concept, a category of sense if you will, involving the recognition of an idea of before and after, past present and future, regarded theoretically as having a beginning and an end, as something limited by the duration of the external universe, as contrasted with eternity.

[DarkFish]

Originally Posted by Ducimus

All i see is a big wall of text with the caps lock key on.

And difficult words. Lots of difficult words. I think someone here is trying to look smart

[krashkart]

Originally Posted by DarkFish

And difficult words. Lots of difficult words. I think someone here is trying to look smart

Or simply having fun with language.



@AdeptCharge:

Remind me not to accept a ride anywhere with you. They'd probably haul me in, too. "Accessory to Attempted Bewilderment of an Officer of the Peace", or something like that.

[AdeptCharge]

Originally Posted by DarkFish

And difficult words. Lots of difficult words. I think someone here is trying to look smart

Difficult? most fascinating Then lets further harass the police, after being victim to a percussive attack to wit- rock hammer, and recovery as evident, when interviewed by the prison officers and police to describe assailants face!! A-hem it is comprised a maxillary bone sub-structural framework overlayed with subcutaneous layers of lipoid and fibrous muscular tissues, with an overall covering of dermal layers. more? There were two occular organs situated in frontal orbital sockets and three frontal apertures, the two smaller which were divided by a central septum.

[AdeptCharge]

Originally Posted by Ducimus

All i see is a big wall of text with the caps lock key on.

I view and observe a lot more, that said I admire your talent to realise my keyboard CAPS LOCK button is fully functional.

[Jimbuna]

Sounds like someone has had a bitter experience with a traffic cop on there travels perhaps?

[Herr-Berbunch]

Originally Posted by AdeptCharge

(now if I may suggest, since lines of stress run perpendicular to the strata in a sedimentary rock such as granite...

Granite is an igneous rock, sandstone is a sedimentary rock, the third type is metamorphic rock of which slate is a good example.