Why i fired my secretary

ReFaN · 01-13-11, 09:57 AM

This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn't feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.

My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn't say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o'clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your Birthday, why don't we go out for lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Joanne, that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch but not where we'd normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't have to go right back to the office, do we?" I replied with "I suppose not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, "Boss if you don't mind, I'm goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.

Herr-Berbunch · 01-13-11, 09:59 AM

Heard it, but still made me laugh

Sailor Steve · 01-13-11, 01:19 PM

Yeah, it's an oldie but a goodie.

Betonov · 01-13-11, 01:23 PM

How the hell did that part of my life leaked... I mean, hehe, great joke, hehe

krashkart · 01-13-11, 06:39 PM

Good joke.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betonov

How the hell did that part of my life leaked... I mean, hehe, great joke, hehe

Wikileaks.

CCIP · 01-13-11, 07:48 PM

That was indeed a good laugh

Wolfehunter · 01-13-11, 11:34 PM

great one.. Laughted my a$$

off.

SgtPotato · 01-13-11, 11:54 PM

Good one...

Castout · 01-14-11, 12:04 AM

It made my day

Jimbuna · 01-14-11, 04:26 PM

Nice one but IIRC one I've posted here way back

ReFaN · 01-14-11, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Nice one but IIRC one I've posted here way back

Trying to take credit huh?

Well, sorry for that :P

01-14-11, 05:56 PM

Kinda funny.

TorpX · 01-15-11, 07:15 PM

Good one.

kiwi_2005 · 01-15-11, 07:48 PM

01-13-11, 09:57 AM	#1
ReFaN Grey Wolf Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Sweden Posts: 831 Downloads: 101 Uploads: 0	Why i fired my secretary This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn't feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember. My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn't say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o'clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your Birthday, why don't we go out for lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Joanne, that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch but not where we'd normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't have to go right back to the office, do we?" I replied with "I suppose not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment, it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, "Boss if you don't mind, I'm goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday". And I just sat there... On the couch... Naked. __________________ Liverpool is my relegion, Anfield is my church. True believers never walk alone.

01-13-11, 09:59 AM	#2
Herr-Berbunch Kaiser Bill's batman Join Date: May 2010 Location: AN72 Posts: 13,203 Downloads: 76 Uploads: 0	Heard it, but still made me laugh __________________

01-13-11, 01:19 PM	#3
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Yeah, it's an oldie but a goodie. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

01-13-11, 07:48 PM	#6
CCIP Navy Seal Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Waterloo, Canada Posts: 8,700 Downloads: 29 Uploads: 2	That was indeed a good laugh __________________ There are only forty people in the world and five of them are hamburgers. -Don Van Vliet (aka Captain Beefheart)

01-13-11, 11:34 PM	#7
Wolfehunter Crusty Capt. Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,752 Downloads: 40 Uploads: 25	great one.. Laughted my a$$ off. __________________

01-13-11, 01:23 PM	#4
Betonov Navy Seal Join Date: May 2009 Location: Slovenia Posts: 8,647 Downloads: 26 Uploads: 0	How the hell did that part of my life leaked... I mean, hehe, great joke, hehe

01-13-11, 11:54 PM	#8
SgtPotato Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: In your ocean, sinking your ships Posts: 721 Downloads: 96 Uploads: 0	Good one... __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

01-14-11, 12:04 AM	#9
Castout Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Jakarta Posts: 4,794 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 6	It made my day __________________ My blog: http://exposingsingapore.wordpress.com/

01-14-11, 04:26 PM	#10
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,473 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Nice one but IIRC one I've posted here way back __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-14-11, 05:56 PM	#12
Rilder Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	Kinda funny.

01-15-11, 07:15 PM	#13
TorpX Silent Hunter Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 3,975 Downloads: 153 Uploads: 11	Good one.

01-15-11, 07:48 PM	#14
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	__________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.