2010 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

[Gut Wrench]

IT BEGINS.
...and the draft is not without drama.


Welcome to another year of smack down, the Chad and TO Show, and the 2010 Subsim Fantasy Football, as the teams head once again into battle, for the coveted, Torpedo Bowl.

This year, we had 16 teams show up for the draft, the last one joining literally minutes before the pre season deadline. A late decision saw Commissioner McBee telephoning all his usual money contacts looking to see if they wanted in on the premier fantasy season. Trump said no, Murdoch wanted all the television rights, and in the end, it was a teenage girl who came up with the exorbitant donation for Subsim.

If she can donate to Subsim - why not you?

Commercial break over, back to the draft.

The international teams were reduced to two this year, the surprise of the season Helmand Nighthawks relocating from Cypress to London to take advantage of the shorter flights to and form the USA. They had first pick of the draft, and no surprises there, Chris Johnson is now on the team.

Defending title holders the Dragons were down the list, eying off their week 1 opponents the other international team, the Australian Taipans. The Dragons were regimental in their selections, as were most teams, with the first real surprise of the draft occurring in round four when upstarts from last year, The Green Beans took Minnesota.

Some other notable moves, Adrian Peterson is now a Badass, the Dallas Cowgirls are Ded (Poets) , and Peyton Manning has his ass in another saddle with the Broncolo's. A late arrival to the draft after it concluded, Aramike discovered he still drafted a pretty decent team.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For his efforts in putting together a 16 round draft that took less than an hour (compared to last years 6 hour drag) the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Commissioner McBee with the Preseason MVT.

[mookiemookie]

Good luck everyone! So long as you're not playing me.

[ReallyDedPoet]

Tony and I are buddies now , McFavvvray took Rodgers on me



Anyway, should be fun, look forward to these.

[mr chris]

Looking forward to the season.

[Gut Wrench]

SEASON PREVIEW.
Dragon Slayers Wanted.


The draft is done, the preseason is over, and the starting squads have been selected, leaving several teams with enough wide gaps that Bernard is close to being a starting wide receiver, albeit with the Raiders.

It's time to strap on, pull on your big toys and get ready to go 16 weeks through the most gruesome (and frustrating) football season yet. The Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) have looked at each team. For the plethora of watchers, (and those tuning in for the broadcast at periscope depth), here is this season's preview.

Let's just come right out and say it now, if you wanna win this year, you have to be a Dragon slayer. Three-peat performer Rick has had his way, but the heir apparent this year could come from within his own division. With realignment from 4 to 2 divisions, the Dragons find themselves in the Surface Skimmer division as last years runner up Every Given Sunday, last years third place team the Helmand Nighthawks, and last years fourth place team the BP Badasses. The division also boasts two new debut teams, the South West Rockets and the Takky Glue.

In the Sub Simmers Division, the Bronolo's come in as debutantes, but, they also finished third in 2008 in another fantasy conference. Look for them to to upset the obvious front runners of the Really Ded Poets and the Wild Boston Terriers. Conceivably, this division could fill 5 of the Post Season seeding, given that the potential four strongest teams have to squabble among themselves.

But, you're not here to to listen to the pros and cons of who's better and who's stronger, you're here for a prediction, something to base that first bet on at Neal's Pearland Casino. So here it is, the top teams for this year.

#5. The Wild Boston Terriers.
McBee with Aaron Rodgers and the New Orleans defense take the top seed in the Sub Simmers division by a game and a half.

#4. The Dynasty is over, not before Rick's Dragons win another divisional title, but falter in the post season when Joe Flacco gets injured, and the Charger defense crumbles (again).

#3. The Ded Poets, with gunslinger Tony Romo scrape into the post season, and look like going all the way until Rob Bironas misses an extra point kick.

#2. Every Given Sunday, repeats last years amazing start, limps into the post season through the back door and comes up one touchdown short in the final game. They become much heralded, and although they go home without the trophy, they do end up scoring with the cheerleaders from the winning team.

#1. Tom Brady, Donald Driver and the Indianapolis defense team up with the most mid season changes, under Coach Chris, to lift the mantle and take the Subsim Bowl back to merry old England, where the Helmand Nighthawks are greeted to a lack luster reception.
They win the bowl, in a country that doesn't really care about football, unless it's round and comes with Academy Award injury performances.

There you have it folks, the lines are now open. Neal does take Visa, and we'll see you right here each Monday night (or possibly Tuesday morning) as we wrap up each game, right here, on the Subsim Football Network.

Cue the music...are you ready for Subsim Football???

[ReallyDedPoet]

Nice, like it that you are sticking your neck out with these picks, including mine ( think I am a tad lower ).

McBee is to high though, should be well down the list

[mookiemookie]

Wheeeeeee!

[mr chris]

Well all i can say is...

[Takeda Shingen]

Well, it looks like my season has come to an abrupt end. That was fast; didn't even make it to the 4:15 games in Week 1 before it was all over. I guess that's what rust does to you.

[Gut Wrench]

STUNNED.
Dragons Slayed, Nighthawks Soars.


Week One and the race to the Subsim Torpedo Bowl has brought about...stunning results. Last year, scoring 100 points would normally guarantee a win, but after week one, it looks as though 85 points will get you a W. Stunning.

Two time defending Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Dragons, have been stunned by one of the international teams. Coming from dead last after the Thursday night game, the Australian Taipans have shocked the Dragons, who scored the lowest number of points for all teams in the week. After the game, Coach Rick said "OI, it's week one, talk to me in week 16," before using a taser to stun his team onto the bus.

The Taipans weren't the only international team to win. Canadian based The Really Ded Poets accounted for the Wild Boston Terriers (of Oregon) 114-87, while the Helmand Nighthawks showed exactly why they are the favorite to win the championship, stunning the South West Rockets in their first game with a record 136 - 49 win. Welcome to Fantasy Football Janeva.

The stunning player selection of the week was Broncolo's and Green Beans game. The Broncolo's started Vincent Jackson (suspended) while the Beans started two Saints players and the Viking defense, both teams which played each other. Had the Beans taken even a lackluster defense, say, The Chiefs, they may not have lost to the Broncolo's 82.36 - 67.74

The stunning win award however came down to the final minute of the San Diego/Kansas game. The BP Badasses were crying out for one more Bowe reception to counter Phillip Rivers, the hard charging QB of Mookie's Show Me Your TD's. The game hung in the balance until Rivers 4th and goal faux pau with 39 seconds to go. Final score, Badasses 81.81 Show Me Your TD's 80.91. Winning margin: .9pts. Stunning.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In another high scoring thumping, the Mudville Nine welcomed the final debut football team, the Takky Glue to the Torpedo Bowl with a big 121-73 win. For a huge effort of 373 yards, 2 TD's and 22 yards rushing the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Jay Cutler of the Mudville Nine, the Week One MVT.

[mookiemookie]

Originally Posted by Gut Wrench

Final score, Badasses 81.81 Show Me Your TD's 80.91. Winning margin: .9pts. Stunning.

Heartbreaking, I say!



EDIT: Corrected.

[Gut Wrench]

A BADASS WEEK TWO.
...but don't show me your 1 pointers.

This report comes live from Candlestick Park.

Week Two in the race to the Subsim Torpedo Bowl, and we needed the results of Monday night to work out most of the winners and losers this week.

The defending champions, the Dragons, after being bitten in Week 1, toppled league leaders, the Helmand Nighthawks. After scoring 98 points through Sunday afternoon, the Dragons had to hold their breath and wait to see how good the Colts defense was. The younger Manning's touchdown pass to Manningham assured the Colts defense would only score 19 points, and let the Dragons beat the Bowl favorites, the Nighthawks 98-89.

The same pass had implications in 3 other games. The Mudville Nine (1-0) fielded the Giants defense against the Green Beans, but the Beans would still need their QB Drew Brees two passing TD's to put the Mudville away 90-83.

The Ded Poets (1-0) had scored 84 points even before the Sunday afternoon games got underway, but, they still had to wait for the BP Badasses, who earlier in the week had dropped Pierre Thomas. Apparently, the boys in the locker room had decided his ass was not bad enough, and sent the pretty boy packing. The Badasses relied on both Eli Manning and the 49ers defense to eventually score a narrow ass win 85.87 - 84.23 over the Poets.

Not close enough? For the second time this season, Show Me Your TD's has had another heart breaking loss. Last week it was .9 points, this week the Reapers edged past to win by 1.09 points. Even with Phillip Rivers throwing for 334 yards, Coach Mookie was quick to point out "We're the best damm 0-2 team in the league."

Although only two weeks into the season, eyes are now looking at the Broncolo's, who tussled the whole way with the Wild Boston Terrier...until Frank Gore rushed for 112 yards and 7 receptions. The Broncolo's and the Badasses sit atop the Sub Simmers division, while in the surface skimmers, both Every Given Sunday and the Australian Taipans are a game clear of the Nighthawks and the Dragons.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In Week Two, there were several candidates, including Javid Best rushing for 78yards and 9 receptions. In a marginal choice however, for his effort of 499 yards and 3 passing TD's, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Matt Schaub of the Australian Taipans, the Week Two MVT.

[Aramike]

No love for Every Given Sunday, the week's point leader. Just sayin'.

[mookiemookie]

Originally Posted by Gut Wrench

...but don't show me your 1 pointers.

Stealin' this for my new team slogan.

[Gut Wrench]

BRONCOLO'S AND BADASSES MOON THE FIELD.
....in an ugly ass week.


It only took three weeks to create a logjam, but the Broncolo's and The Badasses can breathe easy, one game clear as an intense squabble goes on behind them.

One week after complaining about "not getting enough love" for leading the championship, Coach Mike of "Every Given Sunday" bore the brunt of the Badass assault, leaving a bad smell behind as they won 128 - 78.

The other sore ass before this week started was Coach Mookie. Beaten down in the first two weeks of the season by less than a point, there was partial redemption for him this weekend as he showed that he could loose by larger margins, the Green Beans smacking him 111-101.

The 1-1 Reapers, continue to be a "boogie" for the second year against the Taipans, thumping them 120 - 45. Not even the Reapers expected to spank the Taipans ass, as they heavily backed the opposition at Neal's Pearland Casino. "We expected to be rich losers, not broke winners."

After fleeing across the country, Coach McBee decided to start WR Pierre Garcon, even though McBee left him at the Wild Boston Terriers clubhouse. "So rip me a new ass," McBee answered to the media during the game. And the Mudville Nine did 98-91, and dropping the Terriers to 0-3.

In the thriller of the weekend, the 2-0 Broncolo's took on the 1-1 Ded Poets. The Broncolo's had 112 points by Sunday night but had to wait out until the Ded Poets RB Matt Forte, and WR Greg Jennings and Johnny Knox finished penalizing each other at Soldier Field, before winning by 15 yards....I mean points.

After surprise loses in earlier rounds, both the Dragons and the Nighthawks posted 30 point wins respectively over the South West Rockets and the Takky Glue. In so doing, the Dragons and Nighthawks created a five way tie within the Surface Skimmers division. With two more from teams from the Sub Simmers division also 2-1, it's getting crowded approaching quarter way through the season. However, the feature game next week will be the battle of undefeated, when the Brocolo's host the Badasses.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In Week Three, it was hard to go past 160 rushing yards, 2 rushing TD's and 5 receptions for 30 yards as an outstanding performance. The Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Adrian Peterson of the BP Badasses, the Week Three MVT.