Noob to Noob: No paper bag... just my usual fog

[Akula4745]

First off thanks to Ichso for his great attack illustration located here - http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=151917 - please do not confuse his fine outline of an attack with the contents below. In fact the only thing Ichso and I share in common is the date... late 1942. If you read his... then you read mine... our compatibility in tactical strategy will never be in question. But I guess someone has to be responsible and I never would have attempted this "article" if I had not read Ichso's piece beforehand. Sorry Ichso.

Note: Fellow Noobs... this is not the "right" way to do it. But it works for me. Read on at your own risk. Faint of heart will require a note from the Medic to proceed past this point.

Shortly before happy hour one day in late November, the crew was having a volleyball game on the aft deck while I once again dreamed about life after the war. Would I survive this struggle to pursue my dream and become the first really big Hollywood porn star talent scout? The XO nudged me as he always does whenever I get glassy-eyed and start drooling... and my elbow slipped off the chart table nearly taking me to the deck. I started to say something nasty but then decided to preserve decorum and quietly kicked the XO in the shin... it was then the radar operator sang out, "Contact, merchant bearing 347 closing, long range."

I checked the chart table and the little tail on the target icon told me the merchant was on a reciprocal course - meaning he would pass me somewhere not too far off my port side (no, your other left). A quick pencil mark on the chart gave me a starting location for the target... then I quickly determined the distance to the target with the ruler tool - 17 miles out... plenty of time. I order a very general intercept course (better to get there first than get there last)... something around 90 degrees to port from my original course... still running at 10.5 knots.

After about 5 minutes I took another mark on the chart to establish a track for the target... his course if you will. Once I had established his heading (no speed yet) - I used the ruler to layout 2 lines on the chart: the targets course to a point south of my position, and my refined course to well past the intercept point - on the chart the target course track is blue - my original course track estimate is green.



The Chief brought me my 6 o'clock martini right on time again today... that man deserves a medal. Well yes, besides the one he got after my martini was severely shaken by rough seas and I was forced to pummel him with my riding crop. After a few sips I decided it was time to get serious with this whole "Angle on the Bow" thing and calculated the precise angle to be exactly 58 degrees. Many intensely mathematical equations later... I paused briefly to wipe the concentration powered sweat from my brow and... then I decided to just wing it and threw away my scratch pad.

I knew I wanted to be just inside a 1000 yard circle when the target got there... using the protractor I drew a 1000 yard circle around the intercept point (shown in red). Because I had run at 10.5 knots to get in position... now I could submerge and just motor along at 2-3 knots on the intercept bearing. No sense in letting them know I am waiting... so I stay submerged and avoid using the periscope... just relying on the sonar bearing to the target. This is where a good martini can really ease the stress and greatly reduce the impulse to make a last minute change... which will normally screw things up.

Eventually I cut back to 1 knot to ensure I was not too close to the target... and set up the torpedoes for high speed (since I would be inside 1000 yards.) - contact instead of contact influence (because premature explosions are never good) - and set the running depth at 6.5 - 7 feet - and opened the tube doors (a common mistake by Noobs like me)... then I waited until the target was 15 degrees off my bow and popped up the scope for a final look at my new friend.

I line-up the enemy merchant and use the "L" key to lock the scope to the target (something new for me)... then update the PK for my firing solution and launch the torpedo. I fire one torpedo first with a twitchy trigger finger on the second if anything goes wrong. The "torpedo impact" call assures me my first torpedo has found the target... and since the ship breaks up rather quickly there is no need for second fish. One merchant down and a whole bunch to go... just like these delicious martinis. The crew knows if we have a good sortie it will be my treat at Ichiro's strip club and sushi bar... a happy crew is a healthy crew.

So after much reflection and deliberation on attack strategy... the only real conclusion I have reached thus far is... a kill is so much more satisfying when your chart has lots of lines and circles. It makes you feel as if you earned it... the old fashioned way.

Just another day on the USS Hammerhead... oh by the way, the engine room gang was up by three on the torpedo guys when they lost another volleyball over the side. I warned them I wouldn't keep circling back to pick the dang things up.

Capn' Akula
USS Hammerhead

[Rockin Robbins]

No paper bag

I've created a monster with my "driving a car with a paper bag over your head" illustration!

"Mod soup" is the all time phrase winner, but we'll see if the paper bag has legs...

Nice story very well told, Akula!

[ichso]

A nice read, gotta try this Martini thing !

[ncorpuz34]

Where can I find this martini and volleyball mod?