The Lone Ranger

Jimbuna · 03-01-09, 02:22 PM

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy indian war party.
The indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's Tent and spends the night.
The next morning the indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The following morning the indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I still kill you tomorrow.
"What is your last request?"
The Lone Ranger responds," I'd like to speak to my horse....ALONE."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says:
"Listen very carefully, you dickhead, for the last time.......... . BRING POSSE!!!!"

A Very Super Market · 03-01-09, 02:30 PM

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Where are these coming from?

Jimbuna · 03-01-09, 02:59 PM

That one was told to me by my friend The Lone Ranger

Morts · 03-01-09, 03:08 PM

dont get it

Jimbuna · 03-01-09, 03:26 PM

Then your too young

I thought you liked cats

A Very Super Market · 03-01-09, 03:28 PM

Well, he's Danish?

I dunno, but I got it.

Frame57 · 03-02-09, 11:08 AM

bookworm_020 · 03-03-09, 12:40 AM

Before my time, but I still got it!

U-84 · 03-03-09, 08:51 AM

haha

, that was a pretty good one jimbuna

rubenandthejets · 03-03-09, 09:37 AM

What's the closest thing to silver?

The Lone Ranger's butt.

Platapus · 03-03-09, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubenandthejets

What's the closest thing to silver?

The Lone Ranger's butt.

Actually that would be the Saddle blanket but that answer is not as funny I guess

Overboard · 03-04-09, 02:23 AM

I like it" Very Funny Thanks,

I needed that.

Jimbuna · 03-04-09, 06:38 AM

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding into town when they come across the local tavern, The Lone Ranger suggests they pop in for a beer, so they go in, walk up to the bar and ask for 2 pints, to which the landlord replies "Sorry but we don't allow Apaches in here", undeterred by this, the Lone Ranger asks Tonto if he'd mind waiting outside while he has a quick beer. Tonto being the friend he is agrees and stands outside with their horses. The Lone Ranger is having his beer, chatting away and gets bought another beer, knowing Tonto is outside he reluctantly accepts it and tries to drink it as quick as he can. Outside Tonto is starting to feel the cold and decides to start jogging round in circles to keep warm. By this time, The Lone Ranger is on his fourth beer when a cowboy walks in and shouts "Is there someone in here called the Lone Ranger?", The Lone Ranger raises his hand and the cowboy says "you've left your injun running".

bookworm_020 · 03-05-09, 06:05 AM

Nice!

I told my wife the first joke and she got a laugh out of it!

Jimbuna · 03-05-09, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm_020

Nice!

I told my wife the first joke and she got a laugh out of it!

Can you ask her if she wouldn't mind explaining it to Morts

03-01-09, 02:22 PM	#1
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,525 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The Lone Ranger The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy indian war party. The indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?" The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's Tent and spends the night. The next morning the indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?" The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The following morning the indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I still kill you tomorrow. "What is your last request?" The Lone Ranger responds," I'd like to speak to my horse....ALONE." The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent. Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says: "Listen very carefully, you dickhead, for the last time.......... . BRING POSSE!!!!" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

03-01-09, 02:30 PM	#2
A Very Super Market The Old Man Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Deep in the Wild Canadian suburbs. Posts: 1,468 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Where are these coming from? __________________ The entire German garrison of Vanviken, right here in your thread!

03-01-09, 02:59 PM	#3
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,525 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	That one was told to me by my friend The Lone Ranger __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

03-01-09, 03:26 PM	#5
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,525 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Then your too young I thought you liked cats __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

03-01-09, 03:28 PM	#6
A Very Super Market The Old Man Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Deep in the Wild Canadian suburbs. Posts: 1,468 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Well, he's Danish? I dunno, but I got it. __________________ The entire German garrison of Vanviken, right here in your thread!

03-01-09, 03:08 PM	#4
Morts Admiral Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Denmark Posts: 2,395 Downloads: 23 Uploads: 0	dont get it

03-02-09, 11:08 AM	#7
Frame57 Sea Lord Join Date: May 2008 Location: 1300 feet on the crapper Posts: 1,860 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	__________________ "My Religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds." Albert Einstein

03-03-09, 12:40 AM	#8
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Before my time, but I still got it! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

03-03-09, 08:51 AM	#9
U-84 Medic Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: under you in my VIIC Posts: 168 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	haha , that was a pretty good one jimbuna __________________ Never fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning- Field Marshall Erwin Rommel Courage is being scared to death, but saddeling up anyways- John Wayne

03-03-09, 09:37 AM	#10
rubenandthejets 中国水兵 Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 279 Downloads: 20 Uploads: 0	What's the closest thing to silver? The Lone Ranger's butt. __________________ HMAS Sydney III "Thorough and Ready"

03-04-09, 02:23 AM	#12
Overboard Medic Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 164 Downloads: 124 Uploads: 0	I like it" Very Funny Thanks, I needed that.

03-04-09, 06:38 AM	#13
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,525 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding into town when they come across the local tavern, The Lone Ranger suggests they pop in for a beer, so they go in, walk up to the bar and ask for 2 pints, to which the landlord replies "Sorry but we don't allow Apaches in here", undeterred by this, the Lone Ranger asks Tonto if he'd mind waiting outside while he has a quick beer. Tonto being the friend he is agrees and stands outside with their horses. The Lone Ranger is having his beer, chatting away and gets bought another beer, knowing Tonto is outside he reluctantly accepts it and tries to drink it as quick as he can. Outside Tonto is starting to feel the cold and decides to start jogging round in circles to keep warm. By this time, The Lone Ranger is on his fourth beer when a cowboy walks in and shouts "Is there someone in here called the Lone Ranger?", The Lone Ranger raises his hand and the cowboy says "you've left your injun running". __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

03-05-09, 06:05 AM	#14
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Nice! I told my wife the first joke and she got a laugh out of it! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"