Who has done time: In prison! Shock horror!

[kiwi_2005]

Hidden anger can stay dormant for years, decades, waiting for something to trigger it off. This happened to me a few days ago while in Auckland.

Heres the reason of that anger...

Back in my early 20's I sentence to 12 months in prison for minor offenses, while waiting to be drafted into another prison I applied for to work on a Prison farm where we work from 7am to 6pm 5 days a week and have more freedom - not always locked in our cells. - being a prison farm the cells are situated so when you walk out your door your outside not inside some hallway. for instance this prison farm was a U shape with a field the size of a rugby grounds in the middle with the cells situation around it in a U. Outside of this U was the farm. When i got their i was assigned to gardener my job was to grow tomato plants 1.5 hectares of tomato plants with 4 others this was sweet as outside all day just about freedom so to speak. One morning while we line up for breakfast i accidently spilled my breakfast on this guy's table when walking past him, i apologise, cleaned up what i could and walked to my table. Later that day i got a visit from 3 guys in my cell who beat the living crap out of me apparently he had sent round his henchman to teach me a lesson - i was warn about this a few minutes before it happen yet what could i do go running to the prison guards? No way do that and i would of ended up in a coffin besides you dont nark inside. So took the beating which seem like an enternity, shut my mouth about it as guards wanted to know what happen - I fell over, of course they knew i was lying but if im not willing to speak out then theirs nothing they can do. Accepted the outcome and tried to do my sentence but do you think that would of been the end of it? far from it each day as when ever in contact with these ppl i would be spat on, swore at, laughed at, yeah ridiculed. For what spilling breakfast on his table. Turned out the guy was the gang leader inside for murder, just my friggin luck i go and spill my breakfast on the gang leaders table! Yeah i can laugh about it, yet before this i was innocent as, never had an angry bone in my body when i came out i was one angry guy for years after that. But heres the weird part of it all, while walking back to my cell at the end of the day my cell was situated near the gang members so i had to walk past them every day get spat on or the snide remark, where some days nothing would happen,actually i think it depended on their mental ability probably when they were frustrated that their wives/or b*tches i should say never rang them then the stirring started. This particular afternoon after a hard days work on my tomatos heading back to my cell ready to cook some fried tomato and eggs, I saw only the gang leader standing outside, ok i thought what does this ******* want now, he comes up to me and says "How many times you been inside bro? I told him this is my first, then he says why have you not asked for a transfer to another cell away from all this. I said well why should i move. (Besides if i moved that would show these a*sholes i was running from them thats how i felt i may not beable to fight back and beat the crap out of these guys but the best revenge i could muster was not run from them - this makes them scratch their heads wondering if they're tough enough or doing it right. well thats how i saw it, maybe a sensible person would of asked for a cell transfer striaghtaway) He then just steps back out of my way & lets me pass. From that day onwards i never got a hard time from them, he must of gave the word to leave me alone. The last months of my time was good well as far as prison life goes that is.

Yeah but my anger which lasted for many yrs after this, i just couldn't understand how could you beat someone up and in my case send 3 thugs over to do it not a one on one but 3 v 1! and beat the crap out of him all over a spilt breakfast. Where is the reason in it there is no farking justification in beating someone up over that!!!? I got over it and moved on, well i thought i did but recently just a few days ago i went to the city for the day "Auckland" and for the first time in yrs i saw some gang members standing around while we were at the traffic lights, all i saw was red all i could think of in those few moments while watching them was imaging myself going up to them with a gun and popping them off one by one excecution style then maybe spit on them for good measure. I just realised then i still had this anger.

Originally Posted by kiwi_2005

Hidden anger can stay dormat for years, decades, waiting for something to trigger it off. This happened to me a few days ago while in Auckland.

Heres the reason of that anger...

Back in my early 20's I sentence to 12 months in prison for minor offenses, while waiting to be drafted into another prison I applied for to work on a Prison farm where we work from 7am to 6pm 5 days a week and have more freedom - not always locked in our cells. - being a prison farm the cells are situated so when you walk out your door your outside not inside some hallway. for instance this prison farm was a U shape with a field the size of a rugby grounds in the middle with the cells situation around it in a U. Outside of this U was the farm. When i got their i was assigned to gardener my job was to grow tomato plants 1.5 hectares of tomato plants with 4 others this was sweet as outside all day just about freedom so to speak. One morning while we line up for breakfast i accidently spilled my breakfast on this guy's table when walking past him, i apologise, cleaned up what i could and walked to my table. Later that day i got a visit from 3 guys in my cell who beat the living crap out of me apparently he had sent round his henchman to teach me a lesson - i was warn about this a few minutes before it happen yet what could i do go running to the prison guards? No way do that and i would of ended up in a coffin besides you dont nark inside. So took the beating which seem like an enternity, shut my mouth about it as guards wanted to know what happen - I fell over, of course they knew i was lying but if im not willing to speak out then theirs nothing they can do. Accepted the outcome and tried to do my sentence but do you think that would of been the end of it? far from it each day as when ever in contact with these ppl i would be spat on, swore at, laughed at, yeah ridiculed. For what spilling breakfast on his table. Turned out the guy was the gang leader inside for murder, just my friggin luck i go and spill my breakfast on the gang leaders table! Yeah i can laugh about it, yet before this i was innocent as, never had an angry bone in my body when i came out i was one angry guy for years after that. But heres the weird part of it all, while walking back to my cell at the end of the day my cell was situated near the gang members so i had to walk past them every day get spat on or the snide remark, where some days nothing would happen,actually i think it depended on their mental ability probably when they were frustrated that their wives/or b*tches i should say never rang them then the stirring started. This particular afternoon after a hard days work on my tomatos heading back to my cell ready to cook some fried tomato and eggs, I saw only the gang leader standing outside, ok i thought what does this ******* want now, he comes up to me and says "How many times you been inside bro? I told him this is my first, then he says why have you not asked for a transfer to another cell away from all this. I said well why should i move. (Besides if i moved that would show these a*sholes i was running from them thats how i felt i may not beable to fight back and beat the crap out of these guys but the best revenge i could muster was not run from them - this makes them scratch their heads wondering if they're tough enough or doing it right. well thats how i saw it, maybe a sensible person would of asked for a cell transfer striaghtaway) He then just steps back out of my way & lets me pass. From that day onwards i never got a hard time from them, he must of gave the word to leave me alone. The last months of my time was good well as far as prison life goes that is.

Yeah but my anger which lasted for many yrs after this, i just couldn't understand how could you beat someone up and in my case send 3 thugs over to do it not a one on one but 3 v 1! and beat the crap out of him all over a spilt breakfast. Where is the reason in it there is no farking justification in beating someone up over that!!!? I got over it and moved on, well i thought i did but recently just a few days ago i went to the city for the day "Auckland" and for the first time in yrs i saw some gang members standing around while we were at the traffic lights, all i saw was red all i could think of in those few moments while watching them was imaging myself going up to them with a gun and popping them off one by one excecution style then maybe spit on them for good measure. I just realised then i still had this anger.

They're not worth the bullets and if you have to resort to guns and bullets to do the fighting for you then you're no man at all. Just walk away thinking and smiling to yourself that they will be dead in a few years from living such a miserable lifestyle. Best advice I can give you is this, just worry about you and not anyone else. Forget your past and look to the future. You wouldn't want to be back in prison with more thugs to beat you up or even kill you for killing some of their mates do you?

[d@rk51d3]

Sounds just like my school years.......

After about 10 years of that crap, I decided one day to "end it"....
.... but I got to school that day and all the perps had left, and I never saw any of them again.

Probably saved a whole lotta greif for both parties.

[kiwi_2005]

Well i actually thought i had long solved my problem and gotten over it, forgiven them and moved on which i have and for the better haven't been in trouble since that period in my 20's which is 20 odd yrs ago now and done good for myself and kids. Yet out of the blue that anger manifested itself when i saw the same gang in auckland the other day - it actually frighten me that i still had this anger towards them.

[TteFAboB]

Hmm, maybe I'll send you a PM with my comments on the whole anger part, but what's pathetic here is the power the gang leader had at the 'prison'.

First, why wasn't he in maximum security hell without the free roaming and farming crap?

Second, that's a complete failure, a joke of a prison! The only inmate punished was you!

[kiwi_2005]

Originally Posted by TteFAboB

Hmm, maybe I'll send you a PM with my comments on the whole anger part, but what's pathetic here is the power the gang leader had at the 'prison'.

First, why wasn't he in maximum security hell without the free roaming and farming crap?

Second, that's a complete failure, a joke of a prison! The only inmate punished was you!

The murderer was into his 8th yr, meaning a murderer could only get to a prison farm after serving 7 yrs in maximum security then once the 7yrs is up they can ask for a transfer to a prison farm ( as long as he behaved for those 7 yrs.)where the rest of us - minor offenses prisoners are held. I dont know if this law still applies today.

[Iceman]

Matthew 6

[9] After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
[10] Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
[11] Give us this day our daily bread.
[12] And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
[13] And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
[14] For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
[15] But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

pray this prayer often Kiwi....memorize it.....listen to every word in it and someday God will fully heal you of your burden that you carry...you also have to lay it down and not pick it up anymore.

As far as experience with prision...my brother did prision time...my wifes brother did time..came out and died of cancer a few years later...have known many people in and out of jail...been to county a few times in my younger days as well and hope to go witnessing here soon with another member of a church I am going to down to Florence AZ prision...I know what you went thru bro.

God can take anyone and turn em around...look at Saul/Paul in Acts in the New Testament.

THe Harvest is great and the Laborers few....

[kiwi_2005]

Originally Posted by Iceman

Matthew 6

[9] After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
[10] Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
[11] Give us this day our daily bread.
[12] And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
[13] And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
[14] For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
[15] But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

pray this prayer often Kiwi....memorize it.....listen to every word in it and someday God will fully heal you of your burden that you carry...you also have to lay it down and not pick it up anymore.

As far as experience with prision...my brother did prision time...my wifes brother did time..came out and died of cancer a few years later...have known many people in and out of jail...been to county a few times in my younger days as well and hope to go witnessing here soon with another member of a church I am going to down to Florence AZ prision...I know what you went thru bro.

God can take anyone and turn em around...look at Saul/Paul in Acts in the New Testament.

THe Harvest is great and the Laborers few....

I actually know that prayer, was taught it at a very young age and its always been with me, but ive hardly ever said it. I will say it more often Just one thing Iceman i notice you said witnessing - are you a Jehovah Witness? it does not matter if you are or not, just asking.

[Iceman]

No I am a Christian...performing the commanded duty of ALL who profess to be so...

Matthew 28
[19] Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
[20] Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Mark 16
[15] And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
[16] He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
[17] And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
[18] They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Luke 24
[47] And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.
[48] And ye are witnesses of these things.
[49] And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.

Matthew 4
[18] And Jesus, walking by the sea of Galilee, saw two brethren, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.
[19] And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.

Everyone here on this board is a fisherman I would assume...but to be a fisher of men...ahh

And no I do not attach any name to what I believe except what the Bible preaches....I am very weary of any and ALL organized religions for one simple scripture...

Matthew 7
[13] Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
[14] Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

Few find it...

[Coda]

Originally Posted by kiwi_2005

I just realised then i still had this anger.

This is the difference between a criminal and you. You realised you still have this anger, and controlled it. We all have anger. The ones who can't control it are behind bars.

In my younger days, I was at a party with my girlfriend. For no reason, this guy walking by slapped my girlfriend in the face. It knocked her down he hit her so hard. I reacted, boy did I ever. (I was sober)

If there wasn't enough people around to pull me off of him, I probably would have killed him. Really, if it was somewhere else with less people I probably would have. I was in such a rage I didn't think of what was happening. It took 5 people to get me off of him. (I'm larger than most) He was in the hospital for three weeks and he'll never be the same.

I think back on how I could have ended up in prison for that. I'm glad it didn't happen and it's always in my mind whenever I get angry.

[kiwi_2005]

Hmm yeah ive realise i may never beable to forget it, but i can control it like yous have said. As long as i stay here in this ghost town population 4000 approx, no mc donalds or kentucky fried chicken stores, and hang around with these farming folks i will be okay. I got me PC, got me subs games got subsim and close friends here at home.

I'll just avoid the cities.