Danger: Offensive to all ... religions

Catfish · 02-07-06, 04:22 AM

The tale of the monkeys, pretty much summing up my view, and offensive to all

:

http://www.ernestcline.com/dmd/dmd.swf
or
http://www.ernestcline.com/dmd/
(faster but smaller)

Greetings,
Catfish

jumpy · 02-07-06, 04:28 AM

bravo!

Deamon · 02-07-06, 05:52 AM

Cool stuff. I especialy like the oppening. Can it be somehow downloaded ?

Deamon

Perilscope · 02-07-06, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deamon

Cool stuff. I especialy like the oppening. Can it be somehow downloaded ?

Scroll down the pageâ€¦

http://www.ernestcline.com/dmd/

Catfish · 02-07-06, 10:18 AM

GOD'S WORD

Background: Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that as an observant Christian, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,
Jake.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Greetings,
Catfish

Skybird · 02-07-06, 10:37 AM

Good one!

jumpy · 02-07-06, 11:11 AM

priceless

The Avon Lady · 02-07-06, 11:24 AM

Ignorance is bliss.

STEED · 02-07-06, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Avon Lady

Ignorance is bliss.

One of many flaws in the Human Race

Catfish · 02-07-06, 12:26 PM

Hello,
now this should even be corrrect for muslims :hmm: :

http://www.jesuschristsuperstore.net...s/lfallah.html

Greetings,
Catfish

Skybird · 02-07-06, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catfish

Hello,
now this should even be corrrect for muslims :hmm: :

http://www.jesuschristsuperstore.net...s/lfallah.html

Greetings,
Catfish

Holy vision laser sight...

Catfish · 02-08-06, 12:51 PM

Hello Skybird,
" ... "the world revolves around me." (Nietzsche)"
If you saw the video you know that Nietzsche is ... just a monkey lol.

Gives me the opportunity for a shamelaess bump

- sorry but all should see this video.

Greetings,
Catfish

STEED · 02-08-06, 12:54 PM

Quote:

all should see this video. Catfish

I did :P

Iceman · 02-08-06, 01:13 PM

Maybe God is a monolith?

If the world is so hopeless like is pointed out then if a person or monkey was truly intelligent he would realize there is no hope and why continue on in this monkey exsistence....what folly... take the easy way out....a bullet...a rope....some cyanide.

Return to the dust...monkeys....or take a leap of faith....seek and ye shall find.

STEED · 02-08-06, 01:19 PM

Hey the Blackmonolith is back in town

02-07-06, 04:22 AM	#1
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 17,773 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	Danger: Offensive to all ... religions The tale of the monkeys, pretty much summing up my view, and offensive to all : http://www.ernestcline.com/dmd/dmd.swf or http://www.ernestcline.com/dmd/ (faster but smaller) Greetings, Catfish

02-07-06, 04:28 AM	#2
jumpy Admiral Join Date: May 2003 Location: Midlands, UK Posts: 2,139 Downloads: 22 Uploads: 0	bravo! __________________ when you’ve been so long in the desert, any water, no matter how brackish, looks like life

02-07-06, 10:37 AM	#6
Skybird Soaring Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the mental asylum named Germany Posts: 42,663 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	Good one! __________________ If you feel nuts, consult an expert.

02-07-06, 11:11 AM	#7
jumpy Admiral Join Date: May 2003 Location: Midlands, UK Posts: 2,139 Downloads: 22 Uploads: 0	priceless __________________ when you’ve been so long in the desert, any water, no matter how brackish, looks like life

02-07-06, 11:24 AM	#8
The Avon Lady Über Mom Join Date: May 2005 Location: Jerusalem, Israel Posts: 6,147 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Ignorance is bliss. __________________ "Victory will come to us from the wombs of our women." - Houari Boumedienne, President of Algeria, Speech before the UN, 1974

02-07-06, 05:52 AM	#3
Deamon Commodore Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Germany Posts: 642 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Cool stuff. I especialy like the oppening. Can it be somehow downloaded ? Deamon

02-07-06, 10:18 AM	#5
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 17,773 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	GOD'S WORD Background: Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that as an observant Christian, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them. a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? e) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die? i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan, Jake. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Greetings, Catfish

02-07-06, 12:26 PM	#10
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 17,773 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	Hello, now this should even be corrrect for muslims :hmm: : http://www.jesuschristsuperstore.net...s/lfallah.html Greetings, Catfish

02-08-06, 12:51 PM	#12
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 17,773 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	Hello Skybird, " ... "the world revolves around me." (Nietzsche)" If you saw the video you know that Nietzsche is ... just a monkey lol. Gives me the opportunity for a shamelaess bump - sorry but all should see this video. Greetings, Catfish

02-08-06, 01:13 PM	#14
Iceman Ace of the Deep Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mesa AZ, Arizona, USA Posts: 1,253 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Maybe God is a monolith? If the world is so hopeless like is pointed out then if a person or monkey was truly intelligent he would realize there is no hope and why continue on in this monkey exsistence....what folly... take the easy way out....a bullet...a rope....some cyanide. Return to the dust...monkeys....or take a leap of faith....seek and ye shall find.

02-08-06, 01:19 PM	#15
STEED Lucky Jack Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Down Town UK Posts: 27,695 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 48	Hey the Blackmonolith is back in town