Dating an older woman

Bubblehead1980 · 09-01-13, 04:07 PM

Somewhat of a dilemma and may get a few chuckles esp since not one to air my business in this manner but my friends were not much help lol.Recently met a woman who has pretty much everything I have wanted except she's a bit older, not quite a decade but close to it.

I usually date women younger than me and have no intentions of getting married etc, it's just not my thing but there is a strong mutual attraction that has been confirmed, let's just say alcohol played a role as it so often does.We have went out a few times and been casual but there is more to it on both ends, I just have reservations due to the complications.This woman is beautiful(looks 25 not 35) no children, no ex drama, successful career etc .What is the down side? Well, the cougar smack talk is already getting old plus there are some age differences that comes into play as far as attitudes etc. Nearly all of her friends are older, married etc my friends are my age or younger, mostly single or just dating so have found melding two different worlds can be complicated.

Just wondering if anyone here has been in such a situation? How you handled it. Of course, I'll make the best decision as I see it but always interesting to hear views of others.

Platapus · 09-01-13, 04:16 PM

The Frau is older than I am. Does not seem to make much of a difference.

Of course, her doctor advised her to be careful during sex. When there is a significant difference in ages, the sexual acts can be risky.

She told the doctor, "if he dies, he dies."

TarJak · 09-01-13, 04:21 PM

We are here for a good time not a long time. Go for it. You might learn something you don't know and so might she. Enjoy.

Bubblehead1980 · 09-01-13, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TarJak

We are here for a good time not a long time. Go for it. You might learn something you don't know and so might she. Enjoy.

That's the view I tend to take, just gets complicated with different factors, sure we will figure it out.

Bubblehead1980 · 09-01-13, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

The Frau is older than I am. Does not seem to make much of a difference.

Of course, her doctor advised her to be careful during sex. When there is a significant difference in ages, the sexual acts can be risky.

She told the doctor, "if he dies, he dies."

haha

u crank · 09-01-13, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

She told the doctor, "if he dies, he dies."

Now that's a love story.

Tchocky · 09-01-13, 05:12 PM

I've been the older and the younger a few times by now - there are always issues, and I guess the larger the gap the greater the issue. That's not to say it has to be problematic, but pretending an age gap doesn't exist will cause problems long-term.

I suppose the best thing you can do, Bubbles, is let it run for a while then have an open conversation about what each of you wants from the relationship - that's something that changes with age.

Armistead · 09-01-13, 05:34 PM

I would think at your age it shouldn't be a problem, unless you want kids.

If you were born in 80, I don't see the cougar thing being a big issue if she's less than 40.

Wolferz · 09-01-13, 06:01 PM

Probably won't be an issue unless you're together long enough for her to reach menopause, then it can get a bit dicey and after that comes all the retrograde effects of the aging female body like osteoporosis etc.

Unless you are willing to make a long term loving commitment toward her care, you're going to have an issue.
My current wife is four years my senior and the last twenty years have seen her in degrading health due to one accident after another putting her flat on her back for extended periods of time. I'm talking almost totally helpless flat on her back.

But, always the big but, if you have found your soul mate, there shouldn't be any hardship too great.
Weigh your options carefully and good luck.

Bubblehead1980 · 09-01-13, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

I would think at your age it shouldn't be a problem, unless you want kids.

If you were born in 80, I don't see the cougar thing being a big issue if she's less than 40.

I wasnt born in 80, just a number i chose when i signed up at ubi back in the day, think it wouldnt let me use my birth year for some reason, carried name over so people would know me here. Well, she is in mid 30's im pushing into later 20's. I don't want children and dont see that changing to be honest. I think the big issue is melding our lives enough to actually date and not stay the casual level we are now. She likes my friends but of course it's a different thing, my friends are all my age and mostly single, so when we go out its to a pub etc, he friends are mostly married, want us over for a dinner party , which is fine, I like both but we both have gotten annoyed with each others friends. Politics are an issue too so we just kind of steer clear of that, she's a liberal and that annoys me but most women are so its just something to deal with.

Heard some valid points here.Most of my friends consists of "she is a hot well off 35 year old, go for it" and if it was just sex would be one thing but turns out there are feelings on both ends, all that nonsense lol.

August · 09-01-13, 04:23 PM

When I was 25 I had a girlfriend that was 10 years older than me and it was great while it lasted.

You're right about the problems integrating with her friends and yours. It just doesn't work too well no matter what you do and I don't recommend trying. Just enjoy each other when you are together and hang out with your friends when you're not.

Aktungbby · 09-01-13, 06:23 PM

[QUOTE=August;2108796]When I was 25 I had a girlfriend that was 10 years older than me and it was great while it lasted.

"than I" you illiterate lothario; Mein Gott u r an offizer in der ubootwaffe after alles!

Platapus · 09-01-13, 06:33 PM

I was actually looking forward to The Frau having Menopause. I heard that one of the symptoms was mood swings and I thought that the change might be for the better.

Protip: Don't tell your lady that. It does not end well.

Aktungbby · 09-01-13, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

I was actually looking forward to The Frau having Menopause. I heard that one of the symptoms was mood swings and I thought that the change might be for the better.

Protip: Don't tell your lady that. It does not end well.

THEY know it doesn't end well... the life insurance never lapses $$$

Armistead · 09-01-13, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

I was actually looking forward to The Frau having Menopause. I heard that one of the symptoms was mood swings and I thought that the change might be for the better.

Protip: Don't tell your lady that. It does not end well.

Yea, laying in bed in he dark with the nag the other week and she asked me did I think she was still pretty. I told her she still looked good in the dark. Before menopause she would've laughed. She use to be great in the sack, now she's a pain in the ass.

09-01-13, 04:07 PM	#1
Bubblehead1980 Navy Seal Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Florida USA Posts: 7,132 Downloads: 606 Uploads: 44	Dating an older woman Somewhat of a dilemma and may get a few chuckles esp since not one to air my business in this manner but my friends were not much help lol.Recently met a woman who has pretty much everything I have wanted except she's a bit older, not quite a decade but close to it. I usually date women younger than me and have no intentions of getting married etc, it's just not my thing but there is a strong mutual attraction that has been confirmed, let's just say alcohol played a role as it so often does.We have went out a few times and been casual but there is more to it on both ends, I just have reservations due to the complications.This woman is beautiful(looks 25 not 35) no children, no ex drama, successful career etc .What is the down side? Well, the cougar smack talk is already getting old plus there are some age differences that comes into play as far as attitudes etc. Nearly all of her friends are older, married etc my friends are my age or younger, mostly single or just dating so have found melding two different worlds can be complicated. Just wondering if anyone here has been in such a situation? How you handled it. Of course, I'll make the best decision as I see it but always interesting to hear views of others. Last edited by Bubblehead1980; 09-01-13 at 04:46 PM.

09-01-13, 04:16 PM	#2
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,388 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	The Frau is older than I am. Does not seem to make much of a difference. Of course, her doctor advised her to be careful during sex. When there is a significant difference in ages, the sexual acts can be risky. She told the doctor, "if he dies, he dies." __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

09-01-13, 05:12 PM	#7
Tchocky Navy Seal Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 5,874 Downloads: 6 Uploads: 0	I've been the older and the younger a few times by now - there are always issues, and I guess the larger the gap the greater the issue. That's not to say it has to be problematic, but pretending an age gap doesn't exist will cause problems long-term. I suppose the best thing you can do, Bubbles, is let it run for a while then have an open conversation about what each of you wants from the relationship - that's something that changes with age. __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

09-01-13, 05:34 PM	#8
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	I would think at your age it shouldn't be a problem, unless you want kids. If you were born in 80, I don't see the cougar thing being a big issue if she's less than 40. __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

09-01-13, 06:01 PM	#9
Wolferz Navy Seal Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a mighty quest for the Stick of Truth Posts: 5,963 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	Probably won't be an issue unless you're together long enough for her to reach menopause, then it can get a bit dicey and after that comes all the retrograde effects of the aging female body like osteoporosis etc. Unless you are willing to make a long term loving commitment toward her care, you're going to have an issue. My current wife is four years my senior and the last twenty years have seen her in degrading health due to one accident after another putting her flat on her back for extended periods of time. I'm talking almost totally helpless flat on her back. But, always the big but, if you have found your soul mate, there shouldn't be any hardship too great. Weigh your options carefully and good luck. __________________ Tomorrow never comes

09-01-13, 04:21 PM	#3
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	We are here for a good time not a long time. Go for it. You might learn something you don't know and so might she. Enjoy.

09-01-13, 04:23 PM	#11
August Wayfaring Stranger Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 23,222 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	When I was 25 I had a girlfriend that was 10 years older than me and it was great while it lasted. You're right about the problems integrating with her friends and yours. It just doesn't work too well no matter what you do and I don't recommend trying. Just enjoy each other when you are together and hang out with your friends when you're not. __________________ Flanked by life and the funeral pyre. Putting on a show for you to see.

09-01-13, 06:23 PM	#12
Aktungbby Gefallen Engel U-666 Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: On a tilted, overheated, overpopulated spinning mudball on Collision course with Andromeda Galaxy Posts: 30,056 Downloads: 24 Uploads: 0	[QUOTE=August;2108796]When I was 25 I had a girlfriend that was 10 years older than me and it was great while it lasted. "than I" you illiterate lothario; Mein Gott u r an offizer in der ubootwaffe after alles! __________________ "Only two things are infinite; The Universe and human squirrelyness?!!

09-01-13, 06:33 PM	#13
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,388 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I was actually looking forward to The Frau having Menopause. I heard that one of the symptoms was mood swings and I thought that the change might be for the better. Protip: Don't tell your lady that. It does not end well. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.