Great joke I heard (Clean)

Freiwillige · 05-23-11, 08:51 PM

World war II breaks out and and Tommy joins the army to fight those Germans.

After graduating boot camp he gets in line to grab his combat knife, when he gets to the front of the line he finds they are all out of Knives! "How am I supposed to fight the German's up close with no knife?" He asked.

"Easy when a German gets close just scream out stabity stab stab while making stabbing motions!" His ordinance officer tells him.

Tommy thinks this is nuts but shrugs his shoulder and moves to the gun line.

One he arrives at the front of the line he finds they just ran out of rifles!
"How am I to shoot at the enemy with no rifle!?" He asked.

"Easy just point your finger at them and say bangity ban bang!" His Ordinance man reply's

Finally in the third line for grenades he is none to shocked to find they ran out right before he got his turn in line. "Let me guess, I make a grenade throwing motion and yell out boomity boom boom right?"

Again the ordinance man nods.

As he is thrown into battle the next week against a massive German assault the panicked Tommy remembers his instructions. Looking at one German he points and screams out "Bangity bang bang!" and to his surprise the German drops dead! He shoot's three more before he gets in to hand to hand combat and starts screaming "Stabity stab stab!" as German are dropping like flies. Soon he turns the defensive battle into a route of the Germans yelling "boomity boom boom and bangity bang bang" until there is one very fat German left coming right at him. "He throws his fake grenades and yells out boomity boom boom!" to no effect. Then he holds out his finger and points it right at the closing Germans face and yells out "Bangity bang bang" Again to no effect! So He charges the advancing German and begins yelling out "Stabity stab stab!" at this very fat German to no effect!! As the Fat German was walking over Tommy crushing him with his sheer weight the last thing Tommy heard was the German repeating "Tankity Tank tank"

Bakkels · 05-23-11, 09:32 PM

This could very well have been a Mony Python sketch...

Penguin · 05-24-11, 06:12 AM

good one - but the "clean" in the title put me off a little

Reminds me of a film, where the hero fires with an automatic gun at the attackers when the mag goes empty. He then makes makes full auto sounds and the attackers act like they were hit multiple times, untill they realize that there are no bullets

I think it was in "Bad Taste", not sure though.

Jimbuna · 05-24-11, 07:08 AM

Good to hear a 'clean' joke for a change

Herr-Berbunch · 05-24-11, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penguin

I think it was in "Bad Taste", not sure though.

Only one scene I remember from that film, and that ain't it.

Penguin · 05-24-11, 09:47 AM

found the scene, it was indeed Bad Taste, only one attacker though:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herr-Berbunch

Only one scene I remember from that film, and that ain't it.

I'm sure it's something weird, but I'll ask anyway

: which one?

HunterICX · 05-24-11, 09:49 AM

Nice!

HunterICX

05-23-11, 08:51 PM	#1
Freiwillige The Old Man Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Phx. Az Posts: 1,458 Downloads: 24 Uploads: 0	Great joke I heard (Clean) World war II breaks out and and Tommy joins the army to fight those Germans. After graduating boot camp he gets in line to grab his combat knife, when he gets to the front of the line he finds they are all out of Knives! "How am I supposed to fight the German's up close with no knife?" He asked. "Easy when a German gets close just scream out stabity stab stab while making stabbing motions!" His ordinance officer tells him. Tommy thinks this is nuts but shrugs his shoulder and moves to the gun line. One he arrives at the front of the line he finds they just ran out of rifles! "How am I to shoot at the enemy with no rifle!?" He asked. "Easy just point your finger at them and say bangity ban bang!" His Ordinance man reply's Finally in the third line for grenades he is none to shocked to find they ran out right before he got his turn in line. "Let me guess, I make a grenade throwing motion and yell out boomity boom boom right?" Again the ordinance man nods. As he is thrown into battle the next week against a massive German assault the panicked Tommy remembers his instructions. Looking at one German he points and screams out "Bangity bang bang!" and to his surprise the German drops dead! He shoot's three more before he gets in to hand to hand combat and starts screaming "Stabity stab stab!" as German are dropping like flies. Soon he turns the defensive battle into a route of the Germans yelling "boomity boom boom and bangity bang bang" until there is one very fat German left coming right at him. "He throws his fake grenades and yells out boomity boom boom!" to no effect. Then he holds out his finger and points it right at the closing Germans face and yells out "Bangity bang bang" Again to no effect! So He charges the advancing German and begins yelling out "Stabity stab stab!" at this very fat German to no effect!! As the Fat German was walking over Tommy crushing him with his sheer weight the last thing Tommy heard was the German repeating "Tankity Tank tank"

05-23-11, 09:32 PM	#2
Bakkels Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Groningen, The Netherlands Posts: 709 Downloads: 101 Uploads: 6	This could very well have been a Mony Python sketch... __________________ My sh3 skins : http://www.gamefront.com/files/user/Bakkels Or go to the sh3 downloads section > skins

05-24-11, 07:08 AM	#4
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,584 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Good to hear a 'clean' joke for a change __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

05-24-11, 09:49 AM	#7
HunterICX Rear Admiral Join Date: May 2006 Location: Malaga, España Posts: 10,750 Downloads: 8 Uploads: 0	Nice! HunterICX __________________

05-24-11, 06:12 AM	#3
Penguin Ocean Warrior Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Rheinische Republik Posts: 3,322 Downloads: 92 Uploads: 0	good one - but the "clean" in the title put me off a little Reminds me of a film, where the hero fires with an automatic gun at the attackers when the mag goes empty. He then makes makes full auto sounds and the attackers act like they were hit multiple times, untill they realize that there are no bullets I think it was in "Bad Taste", not sure though.