This is the greatest Craigslist add ever!

[Freiwillige]

This showed up in my email box from my mother so I copied and pasted it here for your enjoyment

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in DowntownSavannah night before last.

Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

Alex

[the_tyrant]

I hope this really happened

[Armistead]

Obvious a joke ad or a real dumb marine, calling and acting like a terrorist on someone elses phone, criminal or not, threatening the President would put you away for a long time, not to mention saying that you did it on Craigslist, we'll, evidence enough...

Even marines aren't that dumb...

Overall, I find it a stupid ad trying to promote guns, that would even
embarrass the NRA.


Calm down, I'm all for gun rights, so let's not go there..

[gimpy117]

ahh, and the myth of the lone guy with a gun "saving the day" lives on

[Fish In The Water]

Originally Posted by the_tyrant

I hope this really happened

Sounds a bit contrived, but ya, pretty funny stuff!

[Freiwillige]

Never claimed it was factual, I know how those mass emails work. Still quite humorous though. Made me laugh so I thought I would share. After all were a sharing bunch here aren't we.

[Torplexed]

Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that?

I guess this is what struck me. The term "Ma Bell" (as in "Mother Bell") was used by the general public to refer to the Bell System decades ago when it still held a complete monopoly over all telephone service in most areas of the United States. I haven't heard it much lately. Seems anachronistic to hear in the age of mobile phones, Verizon, Sprint, etc. Makes me wonder if this is an updated version of an old bit.

[Chad]

Now Torplexed you're showing your age.

I'd expect this from SailorSteve but not you

[Freiwillige]

Originally Posted by Torplexed

I guess this is what struck me. The term "Ma Bell" (as in "Mother Bell") was used by the general public to refer to the Bell System decades ago when it still held a complete monopoly over all telephone service in most areas of the United States. I haven't heard it much lately. Seems anachronistic to hear in the age of mobile phones, Verizon, Sprint, etc. Makes me wonder if this is an updated version of an old bit.

You know I thought about that too but then maybe were seeing too much?
After all he did have a conversation with his "Momma" and his ID so maybe the last name was Bell? Or maybe he meant Bell in the old phone term but in a modern context, after all the sarcasm and wit of this piece shows his intellect.

[Growler]

Originally Posted by Torplexed

I guess this is what struck me. The term "Ma Bell" (as in "Mother Bell") was used by the general public to refer to the Bell System decades ago when it still held a complete monopoly over all telephone service in most areas of the United States. I haven't heard it much lately. Seems anachronistic to hear in the age of mobile phones, Verizon, Sprint, etc. Makes me wonder if this is an updated version of an old bit.

Both my parents worked for Bell of Pennsylvania, back in the day. I remember very well the end days of "Ma Bell" and the creation of the "Baby Bells" - it was a lot of long days, late or sleepless nights... and get away with anything we could for my sister and I.