Accident Report on Insurance Form

[GoldenRivet]

Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is supposed to be a bricklayer's accident report, which was rumored to have been printed in the newsletter of the American Insurance Journal. This is frequently passed off as a true story but it is completely fictional. - HOWEVER FUNNY

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Dear Sir: "I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I was alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly more than 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form, that I weigh 135 lb..

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers on my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lb..

I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel beginning its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your questions.

[TLAM Strike]

Physics 1
Bricklayer 0

[FIREWALL]

I can't type... :rotf l2:

[Weiss Pinguin]

Poor planning indeed I wonder what the poor bugger does for a living now...

[GoldenRivet]

probably whatever job keeps him within 6 ft of the ground at all times

[XabbaRus]

Funny story guys but the Myth busters busted it.

They managed to mangle buster in this way but only after they seriously messed with the barrel.

[TLAM Strike]

Originally Posted by XabbaRus

Funny story guys but the Myth busters busted it.

They managed to mangle buster in this way but only after they seriously messed with the barrel.

Xabba when you mention Myth Busters you must use this .Gif

Its like an internet rule or something...

[GoldenRivet]

Originally Posted by XabbaRus

Funny story guys but the Myth busters busted it.

They managed to mangle buster in this way but only after they seriously messed with the barrel.

I recall that episode... it was a great one.

the story is hilarious - i ripped it off a buddy of mine at another forum - its hilarious how stuff like this is so frequently passed off as "true" (original copy paste poste edited)