Amusing Military Quotes

[SteamWake]

WISDOM - FROM THE MILITARY

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'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'

- Infantry Journal

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'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'

-US.Air Force Manual

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'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered20automatic weapons'

- General Mac Arthur

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'You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.'

- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

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'Tracers work both ways.'-U.S. Army Ordnance

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'Five second fuses only last three seconds.' - Infantry Journal

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'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'

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'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do'

- Unknown Marine Recruit

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'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.'

-USAFAmmo Troop

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'Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil.

For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'

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'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'

- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)

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'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'

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'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter

-- and therefore, unsafe.'

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'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have

enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'

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'Even withammunition, the USAFis just another expensive flying club.'

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'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?

If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies;

If ATC screws up, .... The pilot dies.'

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'Never trade luck for skill.'

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The three most common expressions (or famous last words),

in aviation are:

'Why is it doing that?'

'Where are we?'

And

'Oh S...!'

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'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'

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'Mankind has a perfect record in aviation;

we have never left one up there!'

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'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight

to a person on the ground incapable of understanding

or doing anything about it.'

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'The Pipe r Cub is the safest airplane in the world;it can just barely kill you.'

- Attributed to Max Stanley(Northrop test pilot)

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Airman, maintain thy air speed lest the earth rise up and smite you!

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'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'

Sign over squadron ops desk atDavis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970

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'If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.'

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'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it

takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'

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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn

off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives;

the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks,'What happened?'

The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'

-Attributed to Ray Crandell(Lockheed test pilot)

[Task Force]

Some good quotes in there:rotfl:

[SteamWake]

Originally Posted by Task Force

Some good quotes in there:rotfl:

Yea pretty funny stuff. Sorry about the formatting but Im to lazy to go fix it :rotfl:

[Raptor1]

That quote about 50,000 feet and climbing is actually 80,000 feet and it was written inside an SR-71 base (Or, that's what I heard, at least)

[Max2147]

Some other good ones:

"It is better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air than in the air wishing you were on the ground." - Anonymous

"My center is giving way, my right is in retreat, situation excellent. I attack." - French general Foch at the Battle of the Marne

"We're surrounded. That simplifies our problem of getting to these people and killing them." - US general Chesty Puller during the Korean War

"Don't crash. The paperwork is monumental." - Anonymous

Not a quote, but a story: An F-15 pilot is escorting a C-130 on a long mission. The F-15 pilot gets bored, so he pulls in front of the C-130 and does a couple beautiful slow rolls. He then pulls back into formation and radios the C-130 pilot, "I bet you can't do that in your plane!" The C-130 pilot immediately responds, "Yeah, but I bet you can't do this!"

Curious, the F-15 pilot replies "Go ahead." He pulls back and watches the C-130, but the Hercules keeps flying along straight in level flight. After a couple minutes, the C-130 pilot comes back on the radio and says "There!" The confused F-15 pilot replies "What's so special about flying straight and level? Any plane can do that!" The C-130 pilot replies "Yeah, but I just went to the back and took a dump in the toilet."

[Sailor Steve]

I heard that one too, except when I heard it it was "took a leak and made a cup of coffee."

[Arclight]

Reminds me of the drill-sergeant from Full Metal Jacket barking at the grunts. Some hilarious stuff. :rotfl:

[sharkbit]

My favorite on your list:

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter

-- and therefore, unsafe.'

[Sailor Steve]

I've heard some of those before. They're all good ones.

Robert J. Serling, in his book The Probable Cause, quotes the story of an airline captain who is asked by a passenger if he's more careful when carrying a full load than when he only has, as in this case, a handful on board. His reply? "No offense, ma'am, but it doesn't matter if I'm hauling cargo and have no passengers at all. There's only one person I'm interested in getting there in one piece. The rest of you are just along for the ride."

My dad once told me "Passengers never realize that the airliner is designed so the part with the pilot in it hits the ground first."

'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons'- General Mac Arthur

Every time I read that I have to remember that MacArthur's career was ended by the stroke of a pen.

[Janus]

Originally Posted by SteamWake

'You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.'
- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

Originally Posted by Raptor1

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

Those two remind me of the one scene in a Spongebob Squarepants episode when a loudspeaker announcment is made: "Please run around in circles and cry" (or something like that)
Well, I like the quote from the USMC Sergeant. And the one about Churchill and the Italians is hilarious

Quote from Stalin:
"The death of a man is a tragedy, the death of a million is only a statistic."
(got this from the quotes of the Operation Flashpoint death screen...)

[Raptor1]

"The idea that cavalry will be replaced by these iron coaches is absurd. It is little short of treasonous" - French Officer on a Tank demonstration, 1916