Dear Steve Thread

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Herr-Berbunch

Dear Steve

I'm addicted to writing letters to 'agony' people. Can you help?

R. E. Petitive

No. You're beyond help. Sorry.

[AVGWarhawk]

Dear Steve,

I don't pay bird dog fees. Thanks for the referrals.

Guido

[Sailor Steve]

Dear Guido;

I told you never to call me here. Meet me at the usual place - I have the envelope.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Oh contraire, mon frere. I can cure nothing. I merely help you feel better about being sick.

Pay Armistead on your way out, please.

You know we're a non-profit and I don't know what you do with the money you get from the government. I also know I can't keep filing multiple claims for the same patient daily. I noticed you purchased a new car. The only pay I have gotten so far from you is the two goats Dowly paid with.......and got no xmas bonus, not even a chicken.

I hate to bring this up, but I also feel sexually harassed. Do you not think I notice the little touches and bumps everyday as we pass in the hall? Why do you always drop something right at my chair, bending over with your buttocks towards my person. Why is mistletoe hanging by the waterfountain? I'm tired of everytime I get a drink of water, you jump from the restroom foyer and kiss me, screaming "Merry Christmas" as if that excuses it. I would look for other work, but you know the economy is bad and I really need this job. Anyway, I'm trying to be thankful that you got me a xmas gift, but I wasn't expecting pink garters and an enema bag.

Well, I've got to get back to work, as do you, Vendor is here again running up and down the hall screaming "I like rabbits." Please let me know when you're ready to see him.

[Armistead]

Beep Beep,

Steve,

Jimbuna's Attorney on line 1.....

.......

Also, I told you 5 months ago that I was taking Dec.24/25 off this year, but I see you have us open. I realize Christmas is a tough time of year for your many Subsim patients, but I need this time off.

Please let me hire another office employee, the 20 hours days are getting to me.

Please advise that I can spend Christmas with my family and not have to deal with all the Subsim losers, I mean patients you have.

Beep.....

AVG's wife....Line 2 and there's some man sitting in the lobby in a nice suit asking to see you.....

[AVGWarhawk]

Hold all my calls.

[STEED]

Dear Steve I'm seeing this sex maniac of a women who just can't get enough...

Excuse me I will finished this in a few hours time.

[AVGWarhawk]

Dear Steve,

Now that I've spent the morning having sex with farm animals, I'm having second thoughts. What if the world DOESN'T end tomorrow?

Farmer John

[mapuc]

[Armistead]

Message from the office of Dr. Steve O.L.D of Subsim Behavioral Clinic.

666 Waterdowned Dr., Laughin NU. 32033.

Our offices will be closed December 24th and 25th for the Holidays..

However, our Self-Help Center will be open for you during this stressful period. This year we're offering Electro Shock Therapy. This one time treatment cures

Depression, financial issues, broken heart, cancer, vertigo, insomnia, constipation, genital warts, back pain, colds, flu...and over 1000 other ailments..




So why we're out, you're in, take a seat, secure straps, insert credit card, relax....

Treatments now available at a discounted rate for Subsim members
Guaranteed

[mapuc]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

Dear Steve,

Now that I've spent the morning having sex with farm animals, I'm having second thoughts. What if the world DOESN'T end tomorrow?

Farmer John

You may be the father to some weird creatures


Markus

[Fubar2Niner]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Dear Nellie;

Someone should have told you never to trust an airline with your trunk. On the other hand, count yourself lucky the airline even allowed you on board, taking up eight seats like you do. That said, I can represent you in your suit against them, and sew on a new trunk, all for the small fee of 800 peanuts per hour.

Dear Steve,

Thank you kindly for your offer and advice. Good news, shortly after my post to you I had a call from BA, it seems my trunk was put on the wrong flight and landed in Ruwanda. Perhaps a member of BA staff was reading my complaint, and your advice, as I posted In any case I have saved face, after securly replacing my trunk I have trundled to the jungle and am enjoying a tremendous time with my family and friends. They all think you are a blast !

Perhaps I might offer you some advice. With such knowledge and wisdom I feel it only right to say 800 peanuts ph, is waay too smaller sum, 1000 would be more realistic, (perhaps you should hire more staff to help dispose of the shells, if you take this up)

Many thanks, hugs and kisses

Nellie T Elephant

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Armistead

You know we're a non-profit and I don't know what you do with the money you get from the government. I also know I can't keep filing multiple claims for the same patient daily. I noticed you purchased a new car. The only pay I have gotten so far from you is the two goats Dowly paid with.......and got no xmas bonus, not even a chicken.

Hey, you're the one who opened the office, not me. I never wanted this job, and now my precious hours are spent dealing with losers, and the only way I can keep my own sanity is to fleece them for everything they have. I'm the one with the talent here. You want more, go into business for yourself!

I hate to bring this up, but I also feel sexually harassed. Do you not think I notice the little touches and bumps everyday as we pass in the hall? Why do you always drop something right at my chair, bending over with your buttocks towards my person. Why is mistletoe hanging by the waterfountain? I'm tired of everytime I get a drink of water, you jump from the restroom foyer and kiss me, screaming "Merry Christmas" as if that excuses it. I would look for other work, but you know the economy is bad and I really need this job. Anyway, I'm trying to be thankful that you got me a xmas gift, but I wasn't expecting pink garters and an enema bag.

Do we need to talk to Guido? Or maybe Big Bill?

Well, I've got to get back to work, as do you, Vendor is here again running up and down the hall screaming "I like rabbits." Please let me know when you're ready to see him.

Give him a shot of Solution 7 and put him back in his drawer.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Armistead

Beep Beep,

Steve,

Jimbuna's Attorney on line 1.....

Tell him to hold. I should get back to him by New Years.

Also, I told you 5 months ago that I was taking Dec.24/25 off this year, but I see you have us open. I realize Christmas is a tough time of year for your many Subsim patients, but I need this time off.

So take the day off. But tell your wife I'll be showing up for dinner...with all the patients

Please let me hire another office employee, the 20 hours days are getting to me.

No problem. But you have to pay him.

AVG's wife....Line 2

Tell her I'm out of town.

and there's some man sitting in the lobby in a nice suit asking to see you.....

I hope it's the guy from Publisher's Clearing House.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

Hold all my calls.

Lucy, sweetie, how many times do I have to tell ya? I don't need a partner!

And tell the round-headed kid that dog has got to stop calling me at all hours of the night!