Idiots guide to women

Kapitan · 10-23-06, 09:42 AM

When your wife or girl friends say the following:

Oh i really like this: Yeah get your credit card ready cause your paying
I dont feel well: i just want a hug and you to wait on me hand and foot
I love you: well i do but right now i just want sex
im tired: bugger off and leave me alone

Any others you guys want to post?

10-23-06, 10:08 AM

The meaning of life, the universe, and everything.

http://wilk4.com/humor/humorm238.htm

The Avon Lady · 10-23-06, 10:26 AM

This is truly an idiot's guide to women.

And I approve this message.

10-23-06, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Avon Lady

This is truly an idiot's guide to women.

And I approve this message.

Thank you I'll take that as a compliment.

Guys have an alternate dictionary also.

kiwi_2005 · 10-23-06, 11:24 AM

Kiwi on a hot date:
I'll pick ya up in 15min!. Throws on Doc MArtins and leather jacket, wait a minute, opens up black book reads notes: Cathy is from upper class family, father is oil merchant. Puts notes back, must change dress code. Rips of leather jacket, puts on Italian 3 piece suit, throws on Leonado Snakeskin shoes, grabs cuban cigars, and takes blackmarket lookalike American express card. Hopes into run down toyota with no rims and missing passenger door...Damn it!

Goes back to the internet...

FIREWALL · 10-23-06, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waste gate

The meaning of life, the universe, and everything.

http://wilk4.com/humor/humorm238.htm

Waste gate great post i'm e-mailing this to all my buds.

Polak · 10-23-06, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kapitan

When your wife or girl friends say the following:

Oh i really like this: Yeah get your credit card ready cause your paying
I dont feel well: i just want a hug and you to wait on me hand and foot
I love you: well i do but right now i just want sex
im tired: bugger off and leave me alone

Any others you guys want to post?

I will use your words of whisdom Kap! Thanks!
I am left at the stone-age when it comes to women.

The Avon Lady · 10-23-06, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Polak

I am left at the stone-age when it comes to women.

1. Leave big wooden club at home.
2. No pull woman by hair.

Men haven't changed much since back then:

Yahoshua · 10-23-06, 01:13 PM

I'm too busy with school to even bother with it, but I'll sit on the sidelines and laugh at you if you'd like.....

(eats popcorn)

FIREWALL · 10-23-06, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FIREWALL

Quote:

Originally Posted by waste gate

The meaning of life, the universe, and everything.

http://wilk4.com/humor/humorm238.htm

Waste gate great post i'm e-mailing this to all my buds.

Edit: I was the IDIOT... My wife caught me looking at this.

Polak · 10-23-06, 03:06 PM

I am meating my woman on thursday this week, we have been away from each other for 5 weeks, and I believe that she is loosing interest in me. What should I do?!

I've thought of dinner, flowers and a gift (perhaps perfume). Need more advise than leaving my big club in cave.

ASWnut101 · 10-23-06, 03:11 PM

Bring the club. Pull by hair.:p

madDdog67 · 10-23-06, 03:20 PM

True story...several years ago, I was hanging out with a woman that I'd had a relationship with for a number of years. Now, we were having a good time talking and just chillin'...when she got real quiet all of a sudden. After 20 minutes of torture of me trying to figure out just wtf happened, she fesses up that she was sad about something that happened between us 5 YEARS AGO.

There IS no understanding these creatures; we can merely attempt to co-exist with them, and hope to find one whose neuroses are tolerable to a sufficient degree.

ASWnut101 · 10-23-06, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by madDdog67

There IS no understanding these creatures; we can merely attempt to co-exist with them, and hope to find one whose neuroses are tolerable to a sufficient degree.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: OMFG! dont let a Feminist hear that!:p

Polak · 10-23-06, 03:28 PM

Women......

To bad that we need them....

10-23-06, 09:42 AM	#1
Kapitan Sub Test Pilot Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: UK + Canada Posts: 7,130 Downloads: 77 Uploads: 7	Idiots guide to women When your wife or girl friends say the following: Oh i really like this: Yeah get your credit card ready cause your paying I dont feel well: i just want a hug and you to wait on me hand and foot I love you: well i do but right now i just want sex im tired: bugger off and leave me alone Any others you guys want to post? __________________ DONT FORGET if you like a post to nominate it by using the blue diamond Find out about Museum Ships here: https://www.museumships.us/ Flickr for all my pictures: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131313936@N03/ Navy general board articles: https://www.navygeneralboard.com/author/aegis/

10-23-06, 10:26 AM	#3
The Avon Lady Über Mom Join Date: May 2005 Location: Jerusalem, Israel Posts: 6,147 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	This is truly an idiot's guide to women. And I approve this message. __________________ "Victory will come to us from the wombs of our women." - Houari Boumedienne, President of Algeria, Speech before the UN, 1974

10-23-06, 11:24 AM	#5
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	Kiwi on a hot date: I'll pick ya up in 15min!. Throws on Doc MArtins and leather jacket, wait a minute, opens up black book reads notes: Cathy is from upper class family, father is oil merchant. Puts notes back, must change dress code. Rips of leather jacket, puts on Italian 3 piece suit, throws on Leonado Snakeskin shoes, grabs cuban cigars, and takes blackmarket lookalike American express card. Hopes into run down toyota with no rims and missing passenger door...Damn it! Goes back to the internet... __________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

10-23-06, 01:13 PM	#9
Yahoshua The Old Man Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 1,493 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	I'm too busy with school to even bother with it, but I'll sit on the sidelines and laugh at you if you'd like..... (eats popcorn) __________________ Science is the organized unpredictability that strives not to set limits to mans' capabilities, but is the engine by which the limits of mans' understanding is defined-Yahoshua

10-23-06, 03:06 PM	#11
Polak Grey Wolf Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Poland/Sweden Posts: 808 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	I am meating my woman on thursday this week, we have been away from each other for 5 weeks, and I believe that she is loosing interest in me. What should I do?! I've thought of dinner, flowers and a gift (perhaps perfume). Need more advise than leaving my big club in cave. __________________

10-23-06, 10:08 AM	#2
waste gate Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. http://wilk4.com/humor/humorm238.htm

10-23-06, 03:11 PM	#12
ASWnut101 Admiral Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: USA Posts: 2,021 Downloads: 9 Uploads: 0	Bring the club. Pull by hair.:p __________________

10-23-06, 03:20 PM	#13
madDdog67 Loader Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: VA, USA Posts: 84 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	True story...several years ago, I was hanging out with a woman that I'd had a relationship with for a number of years. Now, we were having a good time talking and just chillin'...when she got real quiet all of a sudden. After 20 minutes of torture of me trying to figure out just wtf happened, she fesses up that she was sad about something that happened between us 5 YEARS AGO. There IS no understanding these creatures; we can merely attempt to co-exist with them, and hope to find one whose neuroses are tolerable to a sufficient degree.

10-23-06, 03:28 PM	#15
Polak Grey Wolf Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Poland/Sweden Posts: 808 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Women...... To bad that we need them.... __________________