A wish come true

[SUBMAN1]

Two men are driving through the city when they get pulled over by a cop. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his stick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the officer smacks him in the head with the stick.

The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?"

The officer answers, " When you're in this city son and we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car."

The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here." The officer does a check on the driver's license, and he's O.K..

He gives the man his license back, walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the officer smacks him on the head with the stick.

The passenger asks, "What'd you do that for?"

The officer says, "Just making your wish come true."

The passenger asks, "Making what wish come true?"

The officer says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say to your friend here,
"I wish that assh*le tried that sh*t with me!"

[STEED]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Spoon 11th]

A man gets pulled over by a cop.

- There's a 35 miles per hour speed limit here. You were doing 60, the cop says.

- Yeah well, I would have hit 90, but you stopped me, the man replies.

- Are you drunk, sir?

- Yes and a little horny too. Wanna suck my d***?

[kiwi_2005]

Spooky
Sixth Sense child star Haley Joel Osment in accident where he freaked out and lost control of his car when he saw "himself" in the rearview mirror.

Mel Gibson:
"I was just driving home from shul and maybe had a little too much of that Kiddush wine."

Long Lost Original Bible Page Found
Translation: "All characters & events contained within are entirely fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons entirely coincidental."

www.theSpoof.com

[kiwi_2005]

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is
absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new
audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request. A little
old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at
the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord ! Play a jazz chord!"
Stevie then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. The
little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord,
play a Jazz chord".
Stevie dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the
B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild
with this impromptu show of his technical expertise. The little old man
jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz chord".
Well and truly outraged that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate
his playing ability, Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smart ass,
you get up here and do it!"
The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and
starts to sing........ "A jazz chord to say I ruv you...!!"

[mapuc]

An elderly woman was driving, when she was pulled over by the police.

- Ma'am do you know Why I have stopped you?

-No si'r, the elderly woman replied

-You where driving to fast. the polisman said with nice voice

-No I wasn't

-Yes you was

-NO I wasn't! Not according to the speedsigns

-speedSigns? What speedsigns do you mean

-That one over there, the woman said as she pointed at a roadsign.

-But ma'am that's not a speedsign, it's a sign that tells you what number the road has.

- OHH then you should have seen me on road 195

Markus

A man gets pulled over by a cop.

- There's a 35 miles per hour speed limit here. You were doing 60, the cop says.

- Yeah well, I would have hit 90, but you stopped me, the man replies.

- Are you drunk, sir?

- NO!! Is there a fat broad in the back seat?

[Ducimus]

Three religious men are arguing about when life begins:

Man #1: Life begins when the egg is fertalized!

Man #2: No no no, life begins when it's past the zygot stage and you can see how its developing into a human like creature!

Man #3: You've both got it wrong. Life begins with the dog dies and the kids move away!

Originally Posted by kiwi_2005

........ "A jazz chord to say I ruv you...!!"

:rotfl:
Now THAT's funny!:rotfl:

At least to an old musician.

[Yahoshua]

I missed the point on that one, please explain.

The old Stevie Wonder song was titled "I just called to say I love you..."

[Ori_b]

A blond female driver is pulled over by a blond female cop.

- Ms, can i see your licence?

The blond driver looks a bit confused...

- Licence? whats that?
- Its a small card with your picture in it.

The blond driver searchs her bag, and then take out a small make-up kit with a tiny mirror. The blond female cop takes it, examines it...

-Wow, if i had known you are a cop i wouldnt have pulled you over...

[TteFAboB]

Fidel Castro dies and goes to Heaven.

Arriving there, St. Peter checks his file: thousands of deaths, torture, persecution, dictatorship, no freedom of religion, and on and on.

"Your place is in Hell" - he said.

Arriving in Hell, Satan greeted him personally, but Fidel remembered he forgot his extensive luggage in Heaven.

Satan said - "No problem, I'll send my little devils to go pick it up for you."

When Satan's devils arrived in Heaven, an Angel whispered to another:

"See that? Fidel barely arrived in Hell and there's already a flight of refugees!"

[Yahoshua]

:rotfl:

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.