How to Simulate Submarine Life

shegeek72 · 05-29-06, 02:50 AM

Obtain a dumpster. Paint it black, weld all the covers shut except one which can be bolted closed from the inside. Hitch it to the back of your wife's mini van. Gather 12 friends and bolt yourselves inside and let your wife pull it around for several weeks while she does the errands.
Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife whip open the curtain. shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "Sorry, wrong rack".
Don't eat any food that you don't get out of a can or have to add water to.
Paint all the windows on your car black. Drive around town at high speeds with your wife standing up in the sunroof shouting course and speed directions to you.
Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while soaping.
Repeat back everything anyone says to you.
Sit in your car for six hours a day with your hands on the wheel and the motor running, but don't go anywhere.
Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to "High".
Don't watch T.V. except movies in the middle of the night. Also, have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one. Record The Sound of Music and show it at least every other night.
Don't do your wash at home. Gather your neighbors clothes along with yours, pick the most crowded laundromat you can find, and do the neighborhood laundry in a single washer and dryer. Make sure that 12% of the laundry is lost and 20% of the finished laundry is incorrectly distributed to the wrong neighbor.

continued...!

http://www.submarinestore.com/storie...simulation.htm

VipertheSniper · 05-29-06, 03:26 AM

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

kiwi_2005 · 05-29-06, 08:11 AM

Hehehe

John Channing · 05-29-06, 05:18 PM

My favorite is...

Sit down at the Microwave and shout "Microwave manned". After staring at it for 6 hours stand up and shout "Microwave secure" and then go to bed.

JCC

05-30-06, 11:33 AM

Oldie but still a goodie.

STEED · 05-30-06, 12:25 PM

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Dowly · 05-30-06, 01:52 PM

Makes me laugh everytime I see this one!

Sulikate · 05-30-06, 05:37 PM

very funny one:rotfl:

Tim D · 05-30-06, 07:47 PM

Somethings will never change in the good ole canoe club

SkvyWvr · 06-06-06, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tim D

Somethings will never change in the good ole canoe club

Just remember:
A Chief never drinks.
Should he drink he never gets drunk.
Should he get drunk he never staggers.
Should he stagger he never falls.
Should he fall he does so in a manner that hides his collar devices so passerbys mistake him for an Officer.

FesterShinetop · 06-06-06, 01:20 PM

:rotfl:
Nice ones!

05-29-06, 02:50 AM	#1
shegeek72 WAV Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: somewhere in the Pacific Posts: 603 Downloads: 95 Uploads: 0	How to Simulate Submarine Life Obtain a dumpster. Paint it black, weld all the covers shut except one which can be bolted closed from the inside. Hitch it to the back of your wife's mini van. Gather 12 friends and bolt yourselves inside and let your wife pull it around for several weeks while she does the errands. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife whip open the curtain. shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "Sorry, wrong rack". Don't eat any food that you don't get out of a can or have to add water to. Paint all the windows on your car black. Drive around town at high speeds with your wife standing up in the sunroof shouting course and speed directions to you. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while soaping. Repeat back everything anyone says to you. Sit in your car for six hours a day with your hands on the wheel and the motor running, but don't go anywhere. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to "High". Don't watch T.V. except movies in the middle of the night. Also, have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one. Record The Sound of Music and show it at least every other night. Don't do your wash at home. Gather your neighbors clothes along with yours, pick the most crowded laundromat you can find, and do the neighborhood laundry in a single washer and dryer. Make sure that 12% of the laundry is lost and 20% of the finished laundry is incorrectly distributed to the wrong neighbor. continued...! http://www.submarinestore.com/storie...simulation.htm

05-29-06, 08:11 AM	#3
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	Hehehe __________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

05-30-06, 12:25 PM	#6
STEED Lucky Jack Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Down Town UK Posts: 27,695 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 48	:rotfl: :rotfl: __________________ Dr Who rest in peace 1963-2017. To borrow Davros saying...I NAME YOU CHIBNALL THE DESTROYER OF DR WHO YOU KILLED IT!

05-30-06, 05:37 PM	#8
Sulikate Grey Wolf Join Date: May 2004 Location: South Korea Posts: 834 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	very funny one:rotfl: __________________ Se flutua e não fala quack, afunde-o!

05-30-06, 07:47 PM	#9
Tim D Mate Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Riverside County, CA Posts: 54 Downloads: 12 Uploads: 0	Somethings will never change in the good ole canoe club __________________ IYAOYAS Aviation Ordnanceman, USN, Retired

05-29-06, 03:26 AM	#2
VipertheSniper Ace of the Deep Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Austria Posts: 1,070 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

05-29-06, 05:18 PM	#4
John Channing Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 1998 Posts: 1,846 Downloads: 163 Uploads: 5	My favorite is... Sit down at the Microwave and shout "Microwave manned". After staring at it for 6 hours stand up and shout "Microwave secure" and then go to bed. JCC

05-30-06, 11:33 AM	#5
Sailor Steve Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	Oldie but still a goodie.

05-30-06, 01:52 PM	#7
Dowly Lucky Jack Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 25,052 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	Makes me laugh everytime I see this one!

06-06-06, 01:20 PM	#11
FesterShinetop Gunner Join Date: May 2005 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 96 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: Nice ones!