Edgy New Games!

[Oubaas]

Want to impress your date? These upcoming games are just the thing! Add to your Wish List now!

Essex: The Whale Hunter on Steam/

Yes, you too can harpoon and process whales!

Far North Survival on Steam/

You need to watch the Steam video for that one. You'll thank me. What other game allows you to club baby seals? I can't think of a single one.

Trapper Simulator on Steam

Chicks dig trappers. I ran a trapline when I was a kid, and though I don't trap anymore (fur prices are still about what they were in the 1960s) I still read "Fur*Fish*Game" magazine, though it's not as good as it used to be. Nothing will impress your date more than a fine collection of leg-holding traps.

Now, if somebody would make a bullfighting simulator that actually works (unlike "Toro"), with decent graphics, we'd be all set.

And eventually if these games caught on, the global, high-pitched whining would rise to a volume and pitch that would rupture our tympanic membranes and make us bleed from the ears. But so what? I'm buying them anyway when they're released.