Bully at work?

areo16 · 03-24-14, 03:46 AM

I have an ******* at work that I'd label someone who deserves a punch in the snot box "bully". I've tried to avoid the situation, ignored him, confronted him and fought fire with fire (all verbal). But it doesn't seem to help the situation.

I work in the food service industry and I live in the US. It is a family business restaurant I work for, so I don't think management would be of any help. The person who is bullying is a co-worker.
My concerns are of course losing my job or criminal charges if I start a physical confrontation. It is in downtown of a city so the cops are everywhere. I like the job. Its great money.

I'm new to the job and I think the guy is just jealous or whatever that I've started working there. He's been there longer than I, about a year. I think it's an alpha male thing. I'm a nice guy in person, so he really has not excuse for what he is doing.

Any ideas? A shot to the snot box?

TarJak · 03-24-14, 04:01 AM

If all that he's done is give you verbal a whack in the nose is a bad idea. What exactly has he done to you?

areo16 · 03-24-14, 04:18 AM

He comments about everything he can think of. Makes fun of it out-loud to everyone. Most of it is based on jealously. But he will also talk out-loud about even the little mistakes that I might make at work on occasion, just like the mistakes everyone else makes. Like mistakes on tickets. He also has a tremendous urge to tell me what I might be doing wrong. Like a "know it all". There has been some suttle shoving going on while working. Running in to each other, I shove back.

BTW, there was a girl co-worker that he was trying to get with. Anyhow, she and I hit it off because she knew my younger brother from school. Just friends we became. I think she grew a liking for me. I have a wonderful woman at home so I am off the market. Anyhow, I think that sparked everything.

He shoots spit balls at the high school kids who do the dish washing. Young kids who get paid crap for doing crappy job. S*** like this. Just a dick.

fireftr18 · 03-24-14, 06:37 AM

Document, document, document, then document some more. Then if you think you've documented enough, document even more. Write down every little incident, what he did, date, time, and who it was directed to. REPORT IT TO MANAGEMENT. He is creating a hostile work environment for you. You document the incidents, report them, and nothing is done, you have a lawsuit. Whatever you do, DON'T RETALIATE IN ANY FORM.

Geno_Mariner · 03-24-14, 06:39 AM

Workplace harassment shouldn't be ignored, even if you do not think management will help, you should report it to them. Things like that shouldn't be tolerated. I wouldn't try fighting back to the point of potentially causing physical harm, nor return the shoving he's been giving you. The more you fight with him, the more he will do it.

It should be a great help if other people are getting harassed by him as well, more people to prove the case. Besides, him spit balling workers in the kitchen regardless of where they are is unsanitary, it's a violation of health and safety I believe...

Armistead · 03-24-14, 08:43 AM

Sounds more like a prick than a bully. Don't let people like this get under your skin, try to ignore the small crap like him pointing out mistakes, just act like you don't care. If he points out a mistakes, just say "Thank you". Don't let people like this know that they're getting under your skin

If it's bad enough and effecting several of you, best you all get together and talk to the owner, so it doesn't appear to be just you.

AVGWarhawk · 03-24-14, 09:20 AM

Pride goeth before the fall. Physical confrontation is never good. As suggested, ignore him and do your best.

Jimbuna · 03-24-14, 09:50 AM

Record everything in writing, time, place, witnesses etc.

In the meantime don't retaliate but be polite with a "Thank You" as already suggested...nothing annoys a protaganist more than forgiveness.

When you feel you have sufficient evidence, witnesses etc. approach the manager/owner and present your case.

Should all that fail, sort it out man o man outside of work.

Onkel Neal · 03-24-14, 12:07 PM

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/harassment.cfm

Let management know this harassment is illegal and you want then to address it before you take it up with the EEOC.

desertstriker · 03-24-14, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neal Stevens

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/harassment.cfm

Let management know this harassment is illegal and you want then to address it before you take it up with the EEOC.

This but be tactful about it. Have evidence to back up your complaint as well. The key thing to remember is to CYA.

Also check with the other workers he is being a prick to and see if you can get them to document their instances too. Never underestimate the power of a group having a complaint.

areo16 · 03-24-14, 03:06 PM

Thanks guys. I didn't realize the response would be similar and everyone is on the same page. Thanks. I will take everyones advice.

Jimbuna · 03-24-14, 03:12 PM

If at all possible....keep a cool head.

TarJak · 03-24-14, 03:14 PM

Stop making mistakes as well.

Jimbuna · 03-24-14, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by privateer

This from the Guy that said, and I quote!
"Should all that fail, sort it out man o man outside of work."

My meaning was whilst inside work...outside of work, all bets are off

Armistead · 03-24-14, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TarJak

Stop making mistakes as well.

03-24-14, 03:46 AM	#1
areo16 Sonar Guy Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 382 Downloads: 64 Uploads: 0	Bully at work? I have an ******* at work that I'd label someone who deserves a punch in the snot box "bully". I've tried to avoid the situation, ignored him, confronted him and fought fire with fire (all verbal). But it doesn't seem to help the situation. I work in the food service industry and I live in the US. It is a family business restaurant I work for, so I don't think management would be of any help. The person who is bullying is a co-worker. My concerns are of course losing my job or criminal charges if I start a physical confrontation. It is in downtown of a city so the cops are everywhere. I like the job. Its great money. I'm new to the job and I think the guy is just jealous or whatever that I've started working there. He's been there longer than I, about a year. I think it's an alpha male thing. I'm a nice guy in person, so he really has not excuse for what he is doing. Any ideas? A shot to the snot box?

03-24-14, 04:18 AM	#3
areo16 Sonar Guy Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 382 Downloads: 64 Uploads: 0	He comments about everything he can think of. Makes fun of it out-loud to everyone. Most of it is based on jealously. But he will also talk out-loud about even the little mistakes that I might make at work on occasion, just like the mistakes everyone else makes. Like mistakes on tickets. He also has a tremendous urge to tell me what I might be doing wrong. Like a "know it all". There has been some suttle shoving going on while working. Running in to each other, I shove back. BTW, there was a girl co-worker that he was trying to get with. Anyhow, she and I hit it off because she knew my younger brother from school. Just friends we became. I think she grew a liking for me. I have a wonderful woman at home so I am off the market. Anyhow, I think that sparked everything. He shoots spit balls at the high school kids who do the dish washing. Young kids who get paid crap for doing crappy job. S*** like this. Just a dick. Last edited by areo16; 03-24-14 at 04:38 AM.

03-24-14, 06:37 AM	#4
fireftr18 Ocean Warrior Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Kentucky Posts: 2,528 Downloads: 77 Uploads: 0	Document, document, document, then document some more. Then if you think you've documented enough, document even more. Write down every little incident, what he did, date, time, and who it was directed to. REPORT IT TO MANAGEMENT. He is creating a hostile work environment for you. You document the incidents, report them, and nothing is done, you have a lawsuit. Whatever you do, DON'T RETALIATE IN ANY FORM. __________________ Of all the forms of Martial Arts, Karaoke causes the most pain!

03-24-14, 06:39 AM	#5
Geno_Mariner Weps Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 369 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Workplace harassment shouldn't be ignored, even if you do not think management will help, you should report it to them. Things like that shouldn't be tolerated. I wouldn't try fighting back to the point of potentially causing physical harm, nor return the shoving he's been giving you. The more you fight with him, the more he will do it. It should be a great help if other people are getting harassed by him as well, more people to prove the case. Besides, him spit balling workers in the kitchen regardless of where they are is unsanitary, it's a violation of health and safety I believe... __________________

03-24-14, 08:43 AM	#6
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	Sounds more like a prick than a bully. Don't let people like this get under your skin, try to ignore the small crap like him pointing out mistakes, just act like you don't care. If he points out a mistakes, just say "Thank you". Don't let people like this know that they're getting under your skin If it's bad enough and effecting several of you, best you all get together and talk to the owner, so it doesn't appear to be just you. __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

03-24-14, 04:01 AM	#2
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	If all that he's done is give you verbal a whack in the nose is a bad idea. What exactly has he done to you?

03-24-14, 09:20 AM	#7
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,253 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	Pride goeth before the fall. Physical confrontation is never good. As suggested, ignore him and do your best. __________________ “You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road

03-24-14, 09:50 AM	#8
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Record everything in writing, time, place, witnesses etc. In the meantime don't retaliate but be polite with a "Thank You" as already suggested...nothing annoys a protaganist more than forgiveness. When you feel you have sufficient evidence, witnesses etc. approach the manager/owner and present your case. Should all that fail, sort it out man o man outside of work. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

03-24-14, 12:07 PM	#9
Onkel Neal Born to Run Silent Join Date: Jan 1997 Location: Cougar Trap, Texas Posts: 21,383 Downloads: 541 Uploads: 224	http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/harassment.cfm Let management know this harassment is illegal and you want then to address it before you take it up with the EEOC. __________________ SUBSIM - 26 Years on the Web

03-24-14, 03:06 PM	#11
areo16 Sonar Guy Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 382 Downloads: 64 Uploads: 0	Thanks guys. I didn't realize the response would be similar and everyone is on the same page. Thanks. I will take everyones advice.

03-24-14, 03:12 PM	#12
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	If at all possible....keep a cool head. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

03-24-14, 03:14 PM	#13
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	Stop making mistakes as well.