Funniest Joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

[vienna]

A bit late, but I just received the link in a newsletter today:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/08/25/fringe_gag/

[Sailor Steve]

I thought it was funny, but not that funny.

Must be my fault.

[razark]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

I thought it was funny, but not that funny.

Must be my fault.

Or not. I found most of the list better than the top one.

[vienna]

not. I found most of the list better than the top one.

Well, you have consider it was Scots doing the judging and their standards of funny or fun may be different...

After all they gave the world haggis and golf...

[AVGWarhawk]

Nick Helm: "I needed a password with eight characters so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."


Tim Vine: "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."


Hannibal Buress: "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time.' You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works."


Tim Key: "Drive Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car..."


Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess."



Sarah Millican: "My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards."


Alan Sharp: "I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."


Mark Watson: "Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife."


Andrew Lawrence: "I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails."


DeAnne Smith: "My friend died doing what he loved... Heroin." DOH!

[Betonov]

"My wife's eating for two. She's not pregnant, just schizophrenic."

Why do I find the worst joke the funniest

[AVGWarhawk]

I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

[Betonov]

I was once a shizofrenic, but then I learned to live with myself

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by vienna

After all they gave the world haggis and golf...

Now that's a funny joke!

[Egan]

Originally Posted by vienna

Well, you have consider it was Scots doing the judging and their standards of funny or fun may be different...

After all they gave the world haggis and golf...

And, err, Billy Connelly.

I like Haggis.

I don't like golf.


I also don't like Tim Vine but his joke made me giggle.

[vienna]

And, err, Billy Connelly.

...and Craig Ferguson (thank you, Scotland!); Craig has, however, become a fervent U.S. citizen (thank you, Craig!)...

I like Haggis.

...such an admission will not fare well with the cognoscenti...

[Egan]

Originally Posted by vienna

...and Craig Ferguson (thank you, Scotland!); Craig has, however, become a fervent U.S. citizen (thank you, Craig!)...




...such an admission will not fare well with the cognoscenti...

I had a big old answer of borderline wit ready to roll but the internet ate it. So here are the highlights. You can keep Ferguson. Round here he's remembered as the guy who tried to rip off Gerry Sadowitz's act and then did that film about a hair dressers competition.

and Haggis FTW!

Especially with a whiskey and onion sauce.

[Jimbuna]

I thought the best one was in the worst koke category

"My wife's eating for two. She's not pregnant, just schizophrenic."

[vienna]

and Haggis FTW!

Especially with a whiskey and onion sauce.

Do you put the onion sauce in the whiskey as others put cocktail onions in martinis?...

[Egan]

Originally Posted by vienna

Do you put the onion sauce in the whiskey as others put cocktail onions in martinis?...

No, you drink it as a chaser. Pffft, Imagine not knowing that. Honestly, some people are just weird.