Bad News

Feuer Frei! · 07-19-11, 10:56 PM

Well, where do i start? I thought this over a lot, of wether i should post this here.
Reasons are that i believe that the condition of my health is no-one elses' business, and another reason is that none of you have ever met me.
However, after some deliberation i thought that i would post this, in the hope that the male members of SUBSIM can perhaps learn from this and it is vitally important for self-examination.
Now, what is all this about you ask?
Today has been the very worst part of my life, at 09:30 this morning, my time, i had a follow-up consultation at the hospital, after the removal of a Testicular tumour, that it is malignant, ie cancer, and that i will need chemo therapy.
There was a battery of tests done in the lead-up to this, due to the fact that i had been losing weight steadily over the last 10 to 12 mths.
Unfortunately, upon noticing a lump in my testicle, i did not immediately consult my GP.
I played with fire there.
Obviously. I advised the GP about a month ago of this and he immediately ordered an ultra sound of the region.
Result: Tumour, possibly cancerous.
Great. We move on to the ordering of Upper Body x-rays to determine if this has spread.
Result: Most probably not, a slight doubt exists at present in my stomach, however the Doctor has stated this is not to be upset about.
Next, operation to remove tumour and ie the loss of testicle.
Result: Where we are now, the morning after the follow-up.
I have cancer. Has this sunk in? Yes and no.
I'm not sure at what stage i am right now, denial? No, far from it. Acceptance: Yes, although to what level?
The Doctors who gave the me news at the hospital today could not and would not speculate on chemo therapy and it's consequences.
Side effects? Oh, i'm aware of them.
Procedure? In my case it will be via injection, quickest route to the system, right?
The Oncology Dept will inform me of the strength of the treatment, ie a localised one or the full barage/dose.
And over what time period.
I have informed my parents, well, my dad to be precise because my Mother is suffering from Dementia, and that is getting worse by the day. She hardly eats nowadays, i haven't seen my mother in over 2 years and of what my dad tells me of her now, in what state she is in, it breaks me in two.
I have memories of my mother fit and jovial, always humerous and up and about at 7am in the morning, working daily chores and cooking, etc etc.
This is not fair!
Now this.
There are a miriad of thoughts that have entered my mind.
From the most positive: "it'll be fine, it'll be localised treatment, and i will go into remission and i'll see improvements, to:" i will never ever get a chance to go into remission, the chemo has/is failing, we are losing, i am sorry to inform you Mr Feuer Frei! but you have x amount of time left to live".
People are supportive, of course they are.
What are they going to say?
What about my kids?
My 3 beeautiful daughters? Well, 2 of them are too young too understand.
My eldest is 8, she would but, no point in telling her anything until chemo has worked. Or hasn't.
I am chain-smoking, have been for the last 3 weeks. My work has been supportive, have not worked for the last 3 weeks due to the operation and the follow-up.
Now this.
Well, it's a wall of text, i know.
Some deep and dark stuff written here, i am sorry if this depresses anyone, it is not meant to distress or offend or fish for sympathy. Far from it. It is to make the men aware that we need to be aware of things like this, and if in doubt, talk to your GP. Much earlier than what i did.
I will pray to God. For that is all i can do now. I just hope i didn't leave the self-examination too late. Hindsight is a luxury right?

Sailor Steve · 07-19-11, 11:11 PM

Oh, man, that is bad. I hope it turns out alright, not just for your sake but for your kids. They need their dad to be with them forever. I can't pray, but I can hope and wish you a full recovery.

antikristuseke · 07-19-11, 11:35 PM

Wish you a speedy recovery and courage in your process of kicking the cancers ass.

Falkirion · 07-20-11, 12:20 AM

Good luck mate. We await some good news. You deserve to catch a break after all this.

Reece · 07-20-11, 01:37 AM

That is just suck news mate, the big "C" is the most dreaded thing next to Dementia, I watched my mother go through that and was very sad indeed.

Hopefully you have a speedy recovery/cure,

I will pray for you.
Keep up the chin! Reece.

07-20-11, 01:45 AM

Bugger.

Good Luck FF

Dowly · 07-20-11, 01:52 AM

Hope all goes well and speedy recovery.

Feuer Frei! · 07-20-11, 02:16 AM

Thanks for the well wishes guys.
I have been looking at this fact sheet about Chemo from the hospital, some scary stuff:

https://www.eviq.org.au/LinkClick.as...s%3d&tabid=156

Dam.

I'm going to be out of action for at least 3 months+ another 3 to 4 mths on top of that for recuperation. If i get that far.
Scheisse!

Magic1111 · 07-20-11, 02:28 AM

Hi FF !

Es tut mir so unendlich leid für Dich, wünsche Dir von Herzen das aller, aller Beste ! Und ich bete für Dich !

Jetzt mach bitte genau das, was immer auf Deiner Signatur steht:

"Niemals aufgeben" !!!

Viele Grüße,
Thomas ("Magic")

P.S.: Wie alt bist Du eigentlich ?

Matador.es · 07-20-11, 02:44 AM

auwch, that is shokking. It suddanly brings back thoughts we all rather would not recollect i guess. Wish you all the strenght and resilience needed

Anthony W. · 07-20-11, 02:58 AM

Praying for you, man

Flaxpants · 07-20-11, 03:05 AM

All the best to you mate, I will watch for news of your progress- lots of support around here.

A friend of mine had the same thing, he's all over it now and is back to his usual life, got a clear bill of health- look forward to you telling us the same.

F

HunterICX · 07-20-11, 03:42 AM

That's indeed bad news and with that treatment it'll be the fight of your life.

All the best of luck and hope you make a full recovery.

HunterICX

Castout · 07-20-11, 04:34 AM

Oh man you are in my thoughts now and will be in my prayer.

Stay strong. Somehow I got the impression that you're a good person.

Stay cheerful with what life throws at you mate. I really do hope all will be okay in the end.

Sorry to hear about your mother condition. Nevertheless do visit her. You can't if she was gone.

papa_smurf · 07-20-11, 04:46 AM

Heres to a full recovery, hope to god I never find a lump down there. Athough I did have a scare last year when I felt lumps under my left arm pit, went straight to my GP and fortunately it was just my lymph nodes were inflamed and went after a few days - still feared the worst and glad it wasn't cancer.

07-19-11, 10:56 PM	#1
Feuer Frei! Navy Seal Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Valhalla Posts: 5,295 Downloads: 141 Uploads: 17	Bad News Well, where do i start? I thought this over a lot, of wether i should post this here. Reasons are that i believe that the condition of my health is no-one elses' business, and another reason is that none of you have ever met me. However, after some deliberation i thought that i would post this, in the hope that the male members of SUBSIM can perhaps learn from this and it is vitally important for self-examination. Now, what is all this about you ask? Today has been the very worst part of my life, at 09:30 this morning, my time, i had a follow-up consultation at the hospital, after the removal of a Testicular tumour, that it is malignant, ie cancer, and that i will need chemo therapy. There was a battery of tests done in the lead-up to this, due to the fact that i had been losing weight steadily over the last 10 to 12 mths. Unfortunately, upon noticing a lump in my testicle, i did not immediately consult my GP. I played with fire there. Obviously. I advised the GP about a month ago of this and he immediately ordered an ultra sound of the region. Result: Tumour, possibly cancerous. Great. We move on to the ordering of Upper Body x-rays to determine if this has spread. Result: Most probably not, a slight doubt exists at present in my stomach, however the Doctor has stated this is not to be upset about. Next, operation to remove tumour and ie the loss of testicle. Result: Where we are now, the morning after the follow-up. I have cancer. Has this sunk in? Yes and no. I'm not sure at what stage i am right now, denial? No, far from it. Acceptance: Yes, although to what level? The Doctors who gave the me news at the hospital today could not and would not speculate on chemo therapy and it's consequences. Side effects? Oh, i'm aware of them. Procedure? In my case it will be via injection, quickest route to the system, right? The Oncology Dept will inform me of the strength of the treatment, ie a localised one or the full barage/dose. And over what time period. I have informed my parents, well, my dad to be precise because my Mother is suffering from Dementia, and that is getting worse by the day. She hardly eats nowadays, i haven't seen my mother in over 2 years and of what my dad tells me of her now, in what state she is in, it breaks me in two. I have memories of my mother fit and jovial, always humerous and up and about at 7am in the morning, working daily chores and cooking, etc etc. This is not fair! Now this. There are a miriad of thoughts that have entered my mind. From the most positive: "it'll be fine, it'll be localised treatment, and i will go into remission and i'll see improvements, to:" i will never ever get a chance to go into remission, the chemo has/is failing, we are losing, i am sorry to inform you Mr Feuer Frei! but you have x amount of time left to live". People are supportive, of course they are. What are they going to say? What about my kids? My 3 beeautiful daughters? Well, 2 of them are too young too understand. My eldest is 8, she would but, no point in telling her anything until chemo has worked. Or hasn't. I am chain-smoking, have been for the last 3 weeks. My work has been supportive, have not worked for the last 3 weeks due to the operation and the follow-up. Now this. Well, it's a wall of text, i know. Some deep and dark stuff written here, i am sorry if this depresses anyone, it is not meant to distress or offend or fish for sympathy. Far from it. It is to make the men aware that we need to be aware of things like this, and if in doubt, talk to your GP. Much earlier than what i did. I will pray to God. For that is all i can do now. I just hope i didn't leave the self-examination too late. Hindsight is a luxury right? __________________ "History is the lies that the victors agree on"- Napoleon LINK TO MY SH 3 MODS

07-19-11, 11:11 PM	#2
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Oh, man, that is bad. I hope it turns out alright, not just for your sake but for your kids. They need their dad to be with them forever. I can't pray, but I can hope and wish you a full recovery. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

07-20-11, 01:37 AM	#5
Reece CINC Pacific Fleet Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Down Under Posts: 34,688 Downloads: 171 Uploads: 0	That is just suck news mate, the big "C" is the most dreaded thing next to Dementia, I watched my mother go through that and was very sad indeed. Hopefully you have a speedy recovery/cure, I will pray for you. Keep up the chin! Reece. __________________ *Sub captains go down with their ship!*

07-20-11, 02:16 AM	#8
Feuer Frei! Navy Seal Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Valhalla Posts: 5,295 Downloads: 141 Uploads: 17	Thanks for the well wishes guys. I have been looking at this fact sheet about Chemo from the hospital, some scary stuff: https://www.eviq.org.au/LinkClick.as...s%3d&tabid=156 Dam. I'm going to be out of action for at least 3 months+ another 3 to 4 mths on top of that for recuperation. If i get that far. Scheisse! __________________ "History is the lies that the victors agree on"- Napoleon LINK TO MY SH 3 MODS

07-20-11, 02:28 AM	#9
Magic1111 Silent Hunter Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Germany - Sailing on U-552 in North Atlantic Posts: 4,429 Downloads: 783 Uploads: 0	Hi FF ! Es tut mir so unendlich leid für Dich, wünsche Dir von Herzen das aller, aller Beste ! Und ich bete für Dich ! Jetzt mach bitte genau das, was immer auf Deiner Signatur steht: "*Niemals aufgeben" !!!* Viele Grüße, Thomas ("Magic") P.S.: Wie alt bist Du eigentlich ? __________________

07-19-11, 11:35 PM	#3
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	Wish you a speedy recovery and courage in your process of kicking the cancers ass.

07-20-11, 12:20 AM	#4
Falkirion Ace of the Deep Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Melbourne, AUS Posts: 1,043 Downloads: 34 Uploads: 0	Good luck mate. We await some good news. You deserve to catch a break after all this.

07-20-11, 01:45 AM	#6
Tribesman Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	Bugger. Good Luck FF

07-20-11, 01:52 AM	#7
Dowly Lucky Jack Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 25,052 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	Hope all goes well and speedy recovery.

07-20-11, 02:44 AM	#10
Matador.es Chief Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 327 Downloads: 30 Uploads: 0	auwch, that is shokking. It suddanly brings back thoughts we all rather would not recollect i guess. Wish you all the strenght and resilience needed

07-20-11, 02:58 AM	#11
Anthony W. Grey Wolf Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Central Indiana Posts: 850 Downloads: 130 Uploads: 0	Praying for you, man __________________ Sunken Mustangs Proud Ford Mustang owner "Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!" - Admiral David Farragut Run silent - run deep - keep the baffles clear - targets front and center. Private pilot and history buff

07-20-11, 03:05 AM	#12
Flaxpants Ace of the Deep Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Koh Samui, Thailand Posts: 1,196 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	All the best to you mate, I will watch for news of your progress- lots of support around here. A friend of mine had the same thing, he's all over it now and is back to his usual life, got a clear bill of health- look forward to you telling us the same. F

07-20-11, 03:42 AM	#13
HunterICX Rear Admiral Join Date: May 2006 Location: Malaga, España Posts: 10,750 Downloads: 8 Uploads: 0	That's indeed bad news and with that treatment it'll be the fight of your life. All the best of luck and hope you make a full recovery. HunterICX __________________

07-20-11, 04:34 AM	#14
Castout Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Jakarta Posts: 4,794 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 6	Oh man you are in my thoughts now and will be in my prayer. Stay strong. Somehow I got the impression that you're a good person. Stay cheerful with what life throws at you mate. I really do hope all will be okay in the end. Sorry to hear about your mother condition. Nevertheless do visit her. You can't if she was gone. __________________ My blog: http://exposingsingapore.wordpress.com/ Last edited by Castout; 07-20-11 at 04:45 AM.

07-20-11, 04:46 AM	#15
papa_smurf Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: High Peak, Derbyshire Posts: 2,851 Downloads: 33 Uploads: 0	Heres to a full recovery, hope to god I never find a lump down there. Athough I did have a scare last year when I felt lumps under my left arm pit, went straight to my GP and fortunately it was just my lymph nodes were inflamed and went after a few days - still feared the worst and glad it wasn't cancer. __________________