Got mad with parents... what do? =|

[RedMenace]

I'm 18 and going to college and I'm visiting my mom and step-dad this weekend but I forgot how annoying my parents can be. They're so intolerant and abusive and demeaning to me it really gets me down.

I got really mad after a while and said a lot of pissed off stuff that really didn't even need saying, and now I just feel stupid and guilty for getting so ridiculously angry.

What do I do now? How do I feel better about all this? =|

[JokerOfFate]

Well, to put it one way "I think you just threw dung at a fan thats pointing at you"

Stand and Deliver, mate, tell them your sorry the great thing about parents is they never stop loving you

[GoldenRivet]

Or you could hit their ATM machine up for about $400, grab a nice cigar, go to a seedy bar and pick up a sultry brunette for the evening.

that always makes me feel better.

[TarJak]

Tell 'em your sorry for blowing up and tell 'em you love them. You can then have an honest conversation about what they do to piss you off. That conversation needs to be calm and not angry.






And if that doesn't work, the cigar, booze and brunette will work as a back up plan.

If their intolerant and abusive then why are they your family? Why does blood mean you have to love?

Unless you need their cash for college then some fronting might be in order.

I personally consider my second best friend (Best friend is my GF :P) closer family then anybody who shares blood with me, and there is the fact that as a Juggalo I consider anybody else who reps the hatchetman: family.

[Castout]

Call them to say you're sorry?

[RedMenace]

Originally Posted by Rilder

If their intolerant and abusive then why are they your family? Why does blood mean you have to love?

I don't really like them anyway, they're hardly my family... but I just feel lame and stupid after I get angry at people, whatever the reason. I just pride myself on being very calm and complacent, and I get very sad when I lose my temper. =\

[frau kaleun]

If you genuinely regret it, then apologizing will probably make you feel better. You can choose not to be around people you don't like, but you can't choose not to be around yourself. So if you sincerely regret your words and behavior, a sincere apology will make it easier to live with yourself and that's something you have to do... forever.

[Castout]

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

If you genuinely regret it, then apologizing will probably make you feel better. You can choose not to be around people you don't like, but you can't choose not to be around yourself. So if you sincerely regret your words and behavior, a sincere apology will make it easier to live with yourself and that's something you have to do... forever.

Nice line I'm going to steal it

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by TarJak

Tell 'em your sorry for blowing up and tell 'em you love them. You can then have an honest conversation about what they do to piss you off. That conversation needs to be calm and not angry.

And if that doesn't work, the cigar, booze and brunette will work as a back up plan.

^Yeah that^

[August]

Hold the phone! A teenager thinking that his parents are intolerant, abusive and demeaning?

My recommendation is to print out this thread, put it away somewhere safe and in 15-20 years after you have kids yourself, pull it out and see if you still feel the same way about your parents.

Originally Posted by August

Hold the phone! A teenager thinking that his parents are intolerant, abusive and demeaning?

My recommendation is to print out this thread, put it away somewhere safe and in 15-20 years after you have kids yourself, pull it out and see if you still feel the same way about your parents.

Eh, don't assume that this is the same, there are some parents who are down right terrible pieces of crap, like the homophobe parents who think their kid needs to be "Cured" or the Religious nutjobs that force their kids to go to church and to think a certain way. You don't know why he considers his parents abusive and intolerant so don't assume anything.


Anyways, if you truly regret your actions then seek to rectify it of course, but if they constantly make you feel like crap if your around them then you shouldn't be forced to be around them unless you have something to gain.

[DarkFish]

Yeah, I know what you're talking about... me and my dad never could get along either. Now that I've moved out, our relationship has somewhat improved though (we're not exactly friends, but we can get along now). Since you have already moved out, that's not an option for you though.

My advice will be a little different from the other advices given so far. If you really can't get along with your parents, why visit them? Nobody's forcing you to go.
You can tell them you're oh so sorry and blah blah blah, but that doesn't solve the problem. They will still annoy you, and it's just a matter of time before it gets out of hand. You can tell them what you don't like about them, but chances are they either don't want to change or are unable to.

If you still want to keep visiting them, I'd say keep strict lines. Make clear that once one of your parents crosses that line, you're gone. Don't go shouting or name-calling, but when they are abusive/intolerant again, just walk out the door. You don't have to take what they do to you.

I have been through all of this as well, and for me the solution was to see my parents less often. It did take some time though. It only recently improved, after about a year of living on my own. During this period I visited them once a week. I don't know how much you see them, but if it's often enough for them to make you angry, it's too often.

[RedMenace]

Originally Posted by DarkFish

Yeah, I know what you're talking about... me and my dad never could get along either. Now that I've moved out, our relationship has somewhat improved though (we're not exactly friends, but we can get along now). Since you have already moved out, that's not an option for you though.

My advice will be a little different from the other advices given so far. If you really can't get along with your parents, why visit them? Nobody's forcing you to go.
You can tell them you're oh so sorry and blah blah blah, but that doesn't solve the problem. They will still annoy you, and it's just a matter of time before it gets out of hand. You can tell them what you don't like about them, but chances are they either don't want to change or are unable to.

If you still want to keep visiting them, I'd say keep strict lines. Make clear that once one of your parents crosses that line, you're gone. Don't go shouting or name-calling, but when they are abusive/intolerant again, just walk out the door. You don't have to take what they do to you.

I have been through all of this as well, and for me the solution was to see my parents less often. It did take some time though. It only recently improved, after about a year of living on my own. During this period I visited them once a week. I don't know how much you see them, but if it's often enough for them to make you angry, it's too often.

Thank you for the well thought out response, this is probably the closest to the kind of decision I might make. I just... wish I could get along with them. I see everyone else have such nice warm caring relationships with their family and I never really had the chance to have that. Feels like I'm missing something I can never have.

But you're right, I never got along with them and probably never will. I see them about once every six weeks and still can't handle it.

[Sailor Steve]

I didn't have a warm, caring relationship with my family. I felt that my father was overbearing and expected perfection of me, and I absolutely hated my stepmother. Later on I found that my sister felt the same way about them.

Looking back I realize that in some ways they really were like that, but that only makes them human. I also realize that a lot of the problems I had with them were actually of my own making, and that I was a self-willed, arrogant child, who was prone to throwing tantrums and making scenes.

Your parents may well be as bad as can be, or they may not. And you may not know which is true for another forty years. All you can do is try to understand them and try to understand yourself. And it's never easy.