Noob errors

mmm...Dönitz · 02-09-09, 09:17 AM

Thought it might be a giggle sharing anecdotes about howlers you made while you were a trainee Kaleun. Here's my best so far.

1) Forgetting what zoom my periscope was on and running smack bang into the side of a ship while watching it sink.
2) Setting up a perfect shot only to forget that I was firing from tube 5. Those eels don't make 180degree turns very well

3) Running into the bottom while at 50meters on 32x TC.

Sailor Steve · 02-09-09, 10:12 AM

Back in 2005, when the game was new, I was doing the gunnery training for about the fifth time (I keep starting over when new mods are released). I was shooting at a merchant from about 300 meters when he exploded, killing my entire bridge crew.

Shortest career ever.

polynike · 02-09-09, 12:51 PM

Sailing into the quayside wall in Kiel (repeatedly)

Piggy · 02-09-09, 01:22 PM

I did a major booboo this weekend, apparently I dont learn from my mistakes...

Note to self: Back up careers after every night of playing. (second time Ive said this to myself)

I had been having a few wobbly pops when I fired up SH3 the other night, I was a little pre-occupied talking to my wife when I selected my long running career, this would have been my 21st patrol, mid 43 except that I hit "new career" instead of "saved career"

A months worth of work gone!!!

Penelope_Grey · 02-09-09, 01:25 PM

The best one for me was when I was at 256 TC and I hit the D key... needless to say it dived and never resurfaced.

kranz · 02-09-09, 01:32 PM

yesterday I forgot how to use wheel for AOB, I was approaching medium cargo from her starboard but while seeking for AOB at the wheel I always got backboard value. After 1 hour I figured out that I forgot the basic formula for "real" AOB

nikbear · 02-09-09, 02:16 PM

After one to many beers told a friend of mine"thiiiis gammme's Bloody bbrrilliant,I'll fire it up and youuuuo can see"and he did,as I died rapidly after forgetting its quite shallow round the UK

Never again

Platapus · 02-09-09, 07:29 PM

My classic nub mistake:

Setting up the perfect approach (O'Kane set up)

ID target - confirmed ID!

Get range - repeated range calculations match up!

Calculate speed - multiple calculations always the same!

Soon to be doomed ship fat dumb and happy on course going to pass from my port side to my starboard side.

Set AoB to read Port 80

Open doors, wait for juicy parts to pass hairline

Torpedos LOS!

Missed!

AoB should match the side of the ship you are looking at.

Wish I had a Deuchmark for every time I made that mistake.

Laufen zum Ziel · 02-09-09, 10:18 PM

Quote:

"Nikbear
After one to many beers told a friend of mine"thiiiis gammme's Bloody bbrrilliant,I'll fire it up and youuuuo can see"and he did,as I died rapidly after forgetting its quite shallow round the UK

Never again

What, no Death Card? We need to honor our fallen.

A Very Super Market · 02-09-09, 10:30 PM

A daring night surface raid... ruined when I physically hit the juicy tanker I was trying to light up! ><

bgey · 02-10-09, 05:36 AM

Attacking the Hood, selecting a salvo and forgetting the spread angle... 2 torps passed in front of her and 2 behind...

The entire task force sailed along happily, totally unaware that the only thing between them and Davy Jones' Locker was the IQ of a silly kaleun...

Did this many times but this was the only time the neighbours could hear my head banging on my desk...

Benny

coronas · 02-10-09, 08:20 AM

Everytime I sail, must repeat: port is left, starboard is right!

sharkbit · 02-10-09, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polynike

Sailing into the quayside wall in Kiel (repeatedly)

Did the same thing in Wilhelmshaven at high TC.

"WTF....Why am I getting damage reports?!?!?"
Pause....Zoom.
"Oh."

Pre-GWX:
Bernard leaned against the torpedo launch control("ENTER" key) by mistake while cruising thru the North Sea and launched an eel against the fishies.
Thankfully, GWX put a guard over the switch ("CTRL+ENTER") to prevent a reoccurence.

My latest:
Had some damage and minor flooding. I got clear and surfaced. Stopped the boat and put her with decks awash to load some external torpedoes (just a little something I do for realism sake) and hit the TC to speed up the process a little. The flooding was enough to pull me down off the surface. Next thing I know, I'm in the control room with the depth gauge winding around the dial.

I can't remember where it was when I got it under control and was able to blow tanks and get back up to the surface.

Jay · 02-10-09, 02:28 PM

I've been playing SH3 for a long time, but still make "noobie" mistakes. Here's the latest.

It's November, 1941; south of Ireland. My sonarman detects two ships, so I set an intercept course. It's night time, and I'm surfaced. The first vessel (lit up like the proverbial X-mas tree) is a hospital ship. Honour forbids attacking it.

I turn my attention to the second ship, a small ocean liner, suspiciously running without lights. Anticipating that the liner may be a legitimate target, I click on the "surface attack" button, and immediately switch to the weapons officer's station. To my surprise, I hear the sound of gun fire.

I go to the bridge and discover that my gunner is shooting at the hospital ship! Before I can order "hold fire", the hospital ship has been hit twice.

My goof here was twofold. First, I forgot that when sea conditions permit, the surface attack command orders the deck gun to be manned. Second (and more critically), earlier in this mission, I had given the gunner the "fire at will" order, and forgot to change it.

To make matters worse, the attack on the hospital ship alerted the ocean liner, and it began to fire at me. In response to this hostile action, my adrenaline kicked in. I went to periscope depth, and launched two torpedoes. Both hit. As the liner began to sink, I calmed down and took the time to look at its flag. Another goof: it's American, and the US is still officially neutral.

I'm embarrassed to admit that this was the second neutral ship I managed to sink on this patrol (the first was part of a large convoy which I had attacked at night). My renown for this mission was -54. What will my fellow kaleuns be saying about me at the Nightclub?

Lzs von swe · 02-12-09, 04:13 AM

Mistakes? I don´t do mistakes, it´s always Bernards fault

OK, OK, some may be my fault, or many of them

Attacking a convoy by the Rockalls. Pressing on the attack. Swing the scope around and here comes a Flower from our 6. ALLAARM, crash dive and, CLANK...
We planted our bow firmly into the Rockalls, our stern pointing to the sky.
Now, if that Flower did not already have our pos she did now. Reversing on full tilt and blowing ballast did nothing. I then ordered silent running, as if that would help now

Did not

Note to self: Keep track of your possition at all times. Do not follow your targets up on the shallows, and it is shallow on parts of the Rockalls.

02-09-09, 09:17 AM	#1
mmm...Dönitz Seaman Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 32 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Noob errors Thought it might be a giggle sharing anecdotes about howlers you made while you were a trainee Kaleun. Here's my best so far. 1) Forgetting what zoom my periscope was on and running smack bang into the side of a ship while watching it sink. 2) Setting up a perfect shot only to forget that I was firing from tube 5. Those eels don't make 180degree turns very well 3) Running into the bottom while at 50meters on 32x TC.

02-09-09, 10:12 AM	#2
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Back in 2005, when the game was new, I was doing the gunnery training for about the fifth time (I keep starting over when new mods are released). I was shooting at a merchant from about 300 meters when he exploded, killing my entire bridge crew. Shortest career ever. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

02-09-09, 01:25 PM	#5
Penelope_Grey Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: UK Posts: 1,893 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	The best one for me was when I was at 256 TC and I hit the D key... needless to say it dived and never resurfaced. __________________ I SURVIVED THE FIRST EVER SUBSIM WEREWOLF HUNT - and... I actually won the game for the humans too!

02-09-09, 02:16 PM	#7
nikbear Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Northampton,UK Posts: 1,859 Downloads: 86 Uploads: 0	After one to many beers told a friend of mine"thiiiis gammme's Bloody bbrrilliant,I'll fire it up and youuuuo can see"and he did,as I died rapidly after forgetting its quite shallow round the UK Never again __________________ 'It is not surely known when the grey wolf shall come upon the seat of the gods' Ericksmal.

02-09-09, 07:29 PM	#8
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,361 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My classic nub mistake: Setting up the perfect approach (O'Kane set up) ID target - confirmed ID! Get range - repeated range calculations match up! Calculate speed - multiple calculations always the same! Soon to be doomed ship fat dumb and happy on course going to pass from my port side to my starboard side. Set AoB to read Port 80 Open doors, wait for juicy parts to pass hairline Torpedos LOS! Missed! AoB should match the side of the ship you are looking at. Wish I had a Deuchmark for every time I made that mistake. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-09-09, 12:51 PM	#3
polynike Sailor man Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Gibraltar Posts: 43 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Sailing into the quayside wall in Kiel (repeatedly)

02-09-09, 01:22 PM	#4
Piggy Ensign Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Vancouver, B.C., Canada Posts: 234 Downloads: 147 Uploads: 0	I did a major booboo this weekend, apparently I dont learn from my mistakes... Note to self: Back up careers after every night of playing. (second time Ive said this to myself) I had been having a few wobbly pops when I fired up SH3 the other night, I was a little pre-occupied talking to my wife when I selected my long running career, this would have been my 21st patrol, mid 43 except that I hit "new career" instead of "saved career" A months worth of work gone!!!

02-09-09, 01:32 PM	#6
kranz The Old Man Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Poland Posts: 1,430 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	yesterday I forgot how to use wheel for AOB, I was approaching medium cargo from her starboard but while seeking for AOB at the wheel I always got backboard value. After 1 hour I figured out that I forgot the basic formula for "real" AOB

02-09-09, 10:30 PM	#10
A Very Super Market The Old Man Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Deep in the Wild Canadian suburbs. Posts: 1,468 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	A daring night surface raid... ruined when I physically hit the juicy tanker I was trying to light up! >< __________________ The entire German garrison of Vanviken, right here in your thread!

02-10-09, 05:36 AM	#11
bgey Mate Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Belgium Posts: 57 Downloads: 18 Uploads: 0	Attacking the Hood, selecting a salvo and forgetting the spread angle... 2 torps passed in front of her and 2 behind... The entire task force sailed along happily, totally unaware that the only thing between them and Davy Jones' Locker was the IQ of a silly kaleun... Did this many times but this was the only time the neighbours could hear my head banging on my desk... Benny

02-10-09, 08:20 AM	#12
coronas Ace of the Deep Join Date: May 2005 Location: Asturias, España Posts: 1,168 Downloads: 39 Uploads: 0	Everytime I sail, must repeat: port is left, starboard is right! __________________

02-10-09, 02:28 PM	#14
Jay Mate Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada Posts: 56 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	I've been playing SH3 for a long time, but still make "noobie" mistakes. Here's the latest. It's November, 1941; south of Ireland. My sonarman detects two ships, so I set an intercept course. It's night time, and I'm surfaced. The first vessel (lit up like the proverbial X-mas tree) is a hospital ship. Honour forbids attacking it. I turn my attention to the second ship, a small ocean liner, suspiciously running without lights. Anticipating that the liner may be a legitimate target, I click on the "surface attack" button, and immediately switch to the weapons officer's station. To my surprise, I hear the sound of gun fire. I go to the bridge and discover that my gunner is shooting at the hospital ship! Before I can order "hold fire", the hospital ship has been hit twice. My goof here was twofold. First, I forgot that when sea conditions permit, the surface attack command orders the deck gun to be manned. Second (and more critically), earlier in this mission, I had given the gunner the "fire at will" order, and forgot to change it. To make matters worse, the attack on the hospital ship alerted the ocean liner, and it began to fire at me. In response to this hostile action, my adrenaline kicked in. I went to periscope depth, and launched two torpedoes. Both hit. As the liner began to sink, I calmed down and took the time to look at its flag. Another goof: it's American, and the US is still officially neutral. I'm embarrassed to admit that this was the second neutral ship I managed to sink on this patrol (the first was part of a large convoy which I had attacked at night). My renown for this mission was -54. What will my fellow kaleuns be saying about me at the Nightclub? __________________ Jay Floggings will continue until morale improves. GWX 3 & SH3 Commander 3.1

02-12-09, 04:13 AM	#15
Lzs von swe Ace of the Deep Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Norrkoping, Sweden Posts: 1,074 Downloads: 66 Uploads: 0	Mistakes? I don´t do mistakes, it´s always Bernards fault OK, OK, some may be my fault, or many of them Attacking a convoy by the Rockalls. Pressing on the attack. Swing the scope around and here comes a Flower from our 6. ALLAARM, crash dive and, CLANK... We planted our bow firmly into the Rockalls, our stern pointing to the sky. Now, if that Flower did not already have our pos she did now. Reversing on full tilt and blowing ballast did nothing. I then ordered silent running, as if that would help now Did not Note to self: Keep track of your possition at all times. Do not follow your targets up on the shallows, and it is shallow on parts of the Rockalls. __________________