You Might Be A Naval Geek If...

Subnuts · 07-28-10, 11:30 PM

You roll your eyes whenever someone uses Mitsuo Fuchida's book on Midway as a reliable source.

You took pictures of electrical cables and deck beams the last time you visited Battleship Cove.

You become irritated whenever someone refers to a galley as a "kitchen" or a mess as a "dining hall."

You're hoping the next Subsim Meet is in southern England, just so you can visit the historic dockyards.

You wish they'd translate Lothar-Gunther Buchheim's other books into English.

You can say "futtocks scarphed together" in it's proper context without giggling.

You've ever referred to the drain cover in your bathroom floor as a "scupper."

You've compiled a sarcastic list of things you learned from U-571.

Your mother knows what a jib-boom is.

You still expect an apology from Ed Offley.

You patiently explained to people who watched Master and Commander that children really did serve in the Royal Navy.

You wish they'd make more children's books about naval warfare - even though you're a grown man.

People talk about how horrible shipboard life was during the Age of Sail was, and you respond with something like "well, at least they were well fed, had a place to sleep, and there were fewer crimes punishable by death."

Every room in your apartment/house has a least one prominently featured wall painting or photograph of a ship.

You hope that Admiral Lutjens isn't depicted as a fanatical Nazi if they ever remake Sink The Bismarck!

You know the difference between a Safety Tank and a Negative Tank.

You still tease your claustrophobic mother about the time she froze up on the gangway leading to the Nautilus.

You refer to Soviet submarines by their Project numbers.

You were totally shocked when you finally realized that the diesel engines on American submarines in World War II didn't physically drive the boat when it was on the surface.

You've ever defended John Lundstrom's writing style.

Someone describes Sonar as "Radar underwater" and you just sit there not knowing how to respond.

You bring "Anatomy of the Ship" books to work as break room reading. People you work with start thinking you're going to build a real ship.

You can't get over how awesome the tracking shots in Das Boot are, and you watch them over and over with the sound off, studying every detail of every frame.

You want to meet people who "understand naval history the way I do."

Sledgehammer427 · 07-29-10, 12:18 AM

Sadly I've accomplished a healthy lot of these...
this one....

Quote:

Someone describes Sonar as "Radar underwater" and you just sit there not knowing how to respond.

I actually do respond to though.
It's rather entertaining when it's someone who is probably twice my age say something like that and then me jumping in (I probably don't look your average, run-of-the-mill naval buff) explaining down to fine detail the difference between sonar and radar.

nice list though...now I have some goals to accomplish

GoldenRivet · 07-29-10, 12:27 AM

"Radar underwater" is a "dumbing down" of how sonar works

but it is effective because the concepts as to how sonar and radar work are similar when reduced to the lowest denominator.

In RADAR you have a transmitter and a receiver... the transmitter sends out a broad beam of radio energy which strikes an object. A portion of that energy is reflected in what is called an "echo" which is received by the receiver antenna.

one could argue that active sonar works similarly to RADAR- in that it sends a sound pulse which is reflected by an underwater object.

when explaining to laymen, wives and girlfriends how sonar works, this comparison is not at all inappropriate in my opinion, as they likely dont give a damn to hear about the differences between active and passive sonars and the effects of water temperature and thermal layers, aspect ratios etc.

nikimcbee · 07-29-10, 01:25 AM

guilty as charged

I'll just add: You don't have 1 uboat insignia on your car, but 2
When flushing a urinal, you say: Torpedo, los!
3 days of subsim shindig is not enough for you
You've been to Neal's house more than once!
You've read the sonar certification manual
you wear your Cavalla hat AND subsim shirt on the same day
The following day, you wear your BB Texas shirt and hat
The next day you wear your PT boat uniform and hat
Your "lite reading" is Roscoe's US submarine operations during WW2 book.
You have plotted to steal Hanomag's uboat cap
You'll endure love stories in your submarine movies.

Jimbuna · 07-29-10, 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikimcbee

You've been to Neal's house more than once!

Care to expand on that Jason?

papa_smurf · 07-29-10, 04:47 AM

Quote:

You're hoping the next Subsim Meet is in southern England, just so you can visit the historic dockyards.

I wish this would happen

Got another one for the list

You visit Derby House, and spend nearly 1 hour looking around.

tater · 07-29-10, 08:54 AM

I LOLed a few times reading that.

Sailor Steve · 07-29-10, 10:22 AM

You can't watch any episde of any naval history show without complaining about what they got wrong and/or what they left out.

You can describe the complete armour layout of HMS Dreadnought, and the complete revolving and development of her 12pdr guns.

Weiss Pinguin · 07-29-10, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

You can't watch any episde of any naval history show without complaining about what they got wrong and/or what they left out.

You have no idea

We've been watching 24 lately, and everytime they bring up submarines or aircraft my dad and I are all over whatever they get wrong. Not to mention the times my dad sees a uniform...

Sailor Steve · 07-29-10, 03:47 PM

I love JAG, but I cringe every time someone goes into the Admiral's office and he says "Close the hatch."

Oberon · 07-29-10, 04:11 PM

* When a piece of information involving a naval vessel comes in and yourself and your co-naval-geeks spend ages trying to unravel the mystery behind it.

Platapus · 07-29-10, 04:16 PM

"You wish they'd make more children's books about naval warfare - even though you're a grown man."

I will add one: You own a first edition (only edition) set of "The Battleship Boys" and "The Submarine Boys"... and you like to re-read them.

One question: What makes Mitsuo Fuchida's book on Midway any more or less credible than the other books written about Midway?

tater · 07-29-10, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

One question: What makes Mitsuo Fuchida's book on Midway any more or less credible than the other books written about Midway?

He made stuff up, and altered the story in a self-serving way (he was there, after all).

The whole bit about the IJN being moments from launching their strike against the USN, for example. They could not have launched for maybe 45 minutes, not the 5 minutes he claims. There are a few issues discussed at length in Shattered Sword. Note that he only held long credibility outside of Japan, he work was discredited there decades ago.

Subnuts · 07-29-10, 08:35 PM

I think the most glaringly obvious distortion in Fuchida's book (and most people missed it until recently) relates to the carrier's decks being full of armed and fuel strike aircraft minutes away from taking off. The Akagi's log book has her launching and recovering CAP fighters when the dive bombers struck. Considering that before angled flight decks came into use, aircraft carriers could do one of three things: launch, recover, or spot aircraft, but only one of those at any given moment. You couldn't land planes while the flight deck was filled with aircraft (well, duh), and you couldn't keep launching CAP fighters with strike aircraft first in line for take off.

Ironically, if the flight decks were filled with armed strike aircraft, the bombs would have exploded inside of largely empty hangars. With the aircraft still in their hangars, the bombs set off a holocaust of exploding bombs, torpedoes, and fuel tanks, while thousands of gallons of burning aviation gasoline practically melted the entire superstructure astern of the island of one of the carriers nearly to the waterline.

ryanglavin · 07-29-10, 11:20 PM

The sarcastic list from U-571 is my favorite.
My favorite moment of sarcasm is when I was watching the movie with my dad (his first time seeing it), and we get to the early scene of where the destroyer depth charges U-571 after sinking a cargo ship.
He said "What drunk commander would not look behind him to see a damn destroyer, and what destroyer wouldn't actually kill the submarine if it still hears all of the damn crew yelling thier balls off!??!"

07-28-10, 11:30 PM	#1
Subnuts The Old Man Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 1,658 Downloads: 14 Uploads: 0	You Might Be A Naval Geek If... You roll your eyes whenever someone uses Mitsuo Fuchida's book on Midway as a reliable source. You took pictures of electrical cables and deck beams the last time you visited Battleship Cove. You become irritated whenever someone refers to a galley as a "kitchen" or a mess as a "dining hall." You're hoping the next Subsim Meet is in southern England, just so you can visit the historic dockyards. You wish they'd translate Lothar-Gunther Buchheim's other books into English. You can say "futtocks scarphed together" in it's proper context without giggling. You've ever referred to the drain cover in your bathroom floor as a "scupper." You've compiled a sarcastic list of things you learned from U-571. Your mother knows what a jib-boom is. You still expect an apology from Ed Offley. You patiently explained to people who watched Master and Commander that children really did serve in the Royal Navy. You wish they'd make more children's books about naval warfare - even though you're a grown man. People talk about how horrible shipboard life was during the Age of Sail was, and you respond with something like "well, at least they were well fed, had a place to sleep, and there were fewer crimes punishable by death." Every room in your apartment/house has a least one prominently featured wall painting or photograph of a ship. You hope that Admiral Lutjens isn't depicted as a fanatical Nazi if they ever remake Sink The Bismarck! You know the difference between a Safety Tank and a Negative Tank. You still tease your claustrophobic mother about the time she froze up on the gangway leading to the Nautilus. You refer to Soviet submarines by their Project numbers. You were totally shocked when you finally realized that the diesel engines on American submarines in World War II didn't physically drive the boat when it was on the surface. You've ever defended John Lundstrom's writing style. Someone describes Sonar as "Radar underwater" and you just sit there not knowing how to respond. You bring "Anatomy of the Ship" books to work as break room reading. People you work with start thinking you're going to build a real ship. You can't get over how awesome the tracking shots in Das Boot are, and you watch them over and over with the sound off, studying every detail of every frame. You want to meet people who "understand naval history the way I do." __________________ My Amazon.com reviews

07-29-10, 12:27 AM	#3
GoldenRivet Subsim Aviator Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 8,726 Downloads: 146 Uploads: 0	"Radar underwater" is a "dumbing down" of how sonar works but it is effective because the concepts as to how sonar and radar work are similar when reduced to the lowest denominator. In RADAR you have a transmitter and a receiver... the transmitter sends out a broad beam of radio energy which strikes an object. A portion of that energy is reflected in what is called an "echo" which is received by the receiver antenna. one could argue that active sonar works similarly to RADAR- in that it sends a sound pulse which is reflected by an underwater object. when explaining to laymen, wives and girlfriends how sonar works, this comparison is not at all inappropriate in my opinion, as they likely dont give a damn to hear about the differences between active and passive sonars and the effects of water temperature and thermal layers, aspect ratios etc. __________________

07-29-10, 01:25 AM	#4
nikimcbee Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Patroling the Slot. Posts: 17,952 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	guilty as charged I'll just add: You don't have 1 uboat insignia on your car, but 2 When flushing a urinal, you say: Torpedo, los! 3 days of subsim shindig is not enough for you You've been to Neal's house more than once! You've read the sonar certification manual you wear your Cavalla hat AND subsim shirt on the same day The following day, you wear your BB Texas shirt and hat The next day you wear your PT boat uniform and hat Your "lite reading" is Roscoe's US submarine operations during WW2 book. You have plotted to steal Hanomag's uboat cap You'll endure love stories in your submarine movies. __________________

07-29-10, 10:22 AM	#8
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	You can't watch any episde of any naval history show without complaining about what they got wrong and/or what they left out. You can describe the complete armour layout of HMS Dreadnought, and the complete revolving and development of her 12pdr guns. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

07-29-10, 03:47 PM	#10
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	I love JAG, but I cringe every time someone goes into the Admiral's office and he says "Close the hatch." __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

07-29-10, 08:54 AM	#7
tater Navy Seal Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: New Mexico, USA Posts: 9,023 Downloads: 8 Uploads: 2	I LOLed a few times reading that.

07-29-10, 04:11 PM	#11
Oberon Lucky Jack Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,976 Downloads: 61 Uploads: 20	* When a piece of information involving a naval vessel comes in and yourself and your co-naval-geeks spend ages trying to unravel the mystery behind it.

07-29-10, 04:16 PM	#12
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,361 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	"You wish they'd make more children's books about naval warfare - even though you're a grown man." I will add one: You own a first edition (only edition) set of "The Battleship Boys" and "The Submarine Boys"... and you like to re-read them. One question: What makes Mitsuo Fuchida's book on Midway any more or less credible than the other books written about Midway? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

07-29-10, 08:35 PM	#14
Subnuts The Old Man Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 1,658 Downloads: 14 Uploads: 0	I think the most glaringly obvious distortion in Fuchida's book (and most people missed it until recently) relates to the carrier's decks being full of armed and fuel strike aircraft minutes away from taking off. The Akagi's log book has her launching and recovering CAP fighters when the dive bombers struck. Considering that before angled flight decks came into use, aircraft carriers could do one of three things: launch, recover, or spot aircraft, but only one of those at any given moment. You couldn't land planes while the flight deck was filled with aircraft (well, duh), and you couldn't keep launching CAP fighters with strike aircraft first in line for take off. Ironically, if the flight decks were filled with armed strike aircraft, the bombs would have exploded inside of largely empty hangars. With the aircraft still in their hangars, the bombs set off a holocaust of exploding bombs, torpedoes, and fuel tanks, while thousands of gallons of burning aviation gasoline practically melted the entire superstructure astern of the island of one of the carriers nearly to the waterline. __________________ My Amazon.com reviews

07-29-10, 11:20 PM	#15
ryanglavin Samurai Navy Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Evading that Hunter/Killer Group on my Tail Posts: 584 Downloads: 35 Uploads: 0	The sarcastic list from U-571 is my favorite. My favorite moment of sarcasm is when I was watching the movie with my dad (his first time seeing it), and we get to the early scene of where the destroyer depth charges U-571 after sinking a cargo ship. He said "What drunk commander would not look behind him to see a damn destroyer, and what destroyer wouldn't actually kill the submarine if it still hears all of the damn crew yelling thier balls off!??!" __________________