Reasons to Fear Canada

Stealth Hunter · 07-31-09, 06:57 PM

Ninety-percent of population is massed within 100 miles north of the United States' border.

Seems not to mind that one of its provinces being almost entirely French.

Excessive politeness only makes sense as cover for something truly sinister.

Citizens seem strangely impervious to cold.

Decriminalization of marijuana and acceptance of gay marriage without corresponding collapse of social institutions indicate Canada may very well be indestructible.

Has infiltrated entertainment industry with singers, actors, and comedians practically indistinguishable from their American counterparts.

Consistently stays just below cultural radar yet never quite disappears totally.

Parliamentary government and common-law judiciary appear to function acceptably yet remain completely inscrutable.

Never had a "disco phase".

Seemingly endless supply of timber, donuts, and Scotch-plaid hats with earflaps.

Keeps insisting it "has no designs on America" and "only wants peace".

Plays a mean game of pond hockey.

Has a universal health care system considered to be Socialist and yet it's citizens remain healthy, showing the people may invulnerable to disease.

Mush Martin · 07-31-09, 07:48 PM

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?” George asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

Lard T'underin' bye", said Archie, I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jumpins," said Archie,” I’ll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

Torplexed · 07-31-09, 07:50 PM

The Redcoats are coming....and they're so well-behaved.

Mush Martin · 07-31-09, 07:51 PM

:rotfl:

Max2147 · 07-31-09, 09:54 PM

More reasons to fear Canada....

They have beavers:

And they sing their anthem better than anybody else:

August · 07-31-09, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Torplexed

The Redcoats are coming....and they're so well-behaved.

Sorry but those guys look like they're posing for the sequel to Brokeback Mountain. "Brokeback Mountie"

Monica Lewinsky · 07-31-09, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stealth Hunter

Ninety-percent of population is massed within 100 miles north of the United States' border.

And they run contests like this. Nuke 'em I say:

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/beavercontest.wmv

Max2147 · 07-31-09, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monica Lewinsky

And they run contests like this. Nuke 'em I say:

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/beavercontest.wmv

They also enjoy chasing beaver:

I do like the "What to drink when you're chasing beaver" slogan. It doesn't beat around the bush. Ahem.

SteamWake · 07-31-09, 10:47 PM

Personally I fear Canada because there beer sucks.

ETR3(SS) · 07-31-09, 11:05 PM

Idk about that. Blue Moon is pretty good.

Task Force · 07-31-09, 11:10 PM

Heres canada's secret weapon...

Kptlt Thomsen · 07-31-09, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stealth Hunter

Ninety-percent of population is massed within 100 miles north of the United States' border.

Seems not to mind that one of its provinces being almost entirely French.

Excessive politeness only makes sense as cover for something truly sinister.

Citizens seem strangely impervious to cold.

Decriminalization of marijuana and acceptance of gay marriage without corresponding collapse of social institutions indicate Canada may very well be indestructible.

Has infiltrated entertainment industry with singers, actors, and comedians practically indistinguishable from their American counterparts.

Consistently stays just below cultural radar yet never quite disappears totally.

Parliamentary government and common-law judiciary appear to function acceptably yet remain completely inscrutable.

Never had a "disco phase".

Seemingly endless supply of timber, donuts, and Scotch-plaid hats with earflaps.

Keeps insisting it "has no designs on America" and "only wants peace".

Plays a mean game of pond hockey.

Has a universal health care system considered to be Socialist and yet it's citizens remain healthy, showing the people may invulnerable to disease.

LOL...sounds like you have spent some time here...but I beg to differ with you on a point...yes we had a "disgusting disco" phase in the late 70's-early 80's..glad it's long dead.

Kptlt Thomsen · 07-31-09, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteamWake

Personally I fear Canada because there beer sucks.

Your taste buds are dead..

Torplexed · 08-01-09, 12:34 AM

08-01-09, 01:08 AM

The Canadian Airforce takes off for their bombing campaign south.

07-31-09, 06:57 PM	#1
Stealth Hunter Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Y'ha-Nthlei Posts: 4,262 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	Reasons to Fear Canada Ninety-percent of population is massed within 100 miles north of the United States' border. Seems not to mind that one of its provinces being almost entirely French. Excessive politeness only makes sense as cover for something truly sinister. Citizens seem strangely impervious to cold. Decriminalization of marijuana and acceptance of gay marriage without corresponding collapse of social institutions indicate Canada may very well be indestructible. Has infiltrated entertainment industry with singers, actors, and comedians practically indistinguishable from their American counterparts. Consistently stays just below cultural radar yet never quite disappears totally. Parliamentary government and common-law judiciary appear to function acceptably yet remain completely inscrutable. Never had a "disco phase". Seemingly endless supply of timber, donuts, and Scotch-plaid hats with earflaps. Keeps insisting it "has no designs on America" and "only wants peace". Plays a mean game of pond hockey. Has a universal health care system considered to be Socialist and yet it's citizens remain healthy, showing the people may invulnerable to disease.

07-31-09, 07:48 PM	#2
Mush Martin Eternal Patrol Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 4,398 Downloads: 4 Uploads: 0	President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang. "Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!" "Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Archie?” George asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor." President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." Lard T'underin' bye", said Archie, I'll be getting back to ya." Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!" George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Jumpins," said Archie,” I’ll have ta call youse back." Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war." "I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?" Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners." CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN! __________________ RIP Mush Tutorial

07-31-09, 07:51 PM	#4
Mush Martin Eternal Patrol Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 4,398 Downloads: 4 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: __________________ RIP Mush Tutorial

07-31-09, 10:47 PM	#9
SteamWake Rear Admiral Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,224 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Personally I fear Canada because there beer sucks. __________________ Follow the progress of Mr. Mulligan : http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=147648

07-31-09, 11:05 PM	#10
ETR3(SS) Ocean Warrior Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Between test depth and periscope depth Posts: 3,021 Downloads: 175 Uploads: 16	Idk about that. Blue Moon is pretty good. __________________ USS Kentucky SSBN 737 (G) Comms Div 2003-2006 Qualified 19 November 03 Yes I was really on a submarine.

07-31-09, 07:50 PM	#3
Torplexed Let's Sink Sumptin' ! Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 5,823 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	The Redcoats are coming....and they're so well-behaved.

07-31-09, 09:54 PM	#5
Max2147 Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 714 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	More reasons to fear Canada.... They have beavers: And they sing their anthem better than anybody else:

07-31-09, 11:10 PM	#11
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Heres canada's secret weapon... __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

08-01-09, 12:34 AM	#14
Torplexed Let's Sink Sumptin' ! Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 5,823 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0

08-01-09, 01:08 AM	#15
Rilder Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	The Canadian Airforce takes off for their bombing campaign south.