Goodbye Grandad

TarJak · 07-28-09, 10:06 PM

Poor old Granddad's passed away, cut off in his prime,

He never had a day off crook - gone before his time,

We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat,

A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet,

The doctor said his heart was good - fit as any trout,

The Constable he had his say, 'foul play' was not ruled out.

There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace,

Of redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space,

No-one had a clue at all - the judge was in some doubt,

When Dad was called to have his say as to how it came about,

'I reckon I can clear it up,' said Dad with trembling breath,

'You see it's quite a story - but it could explain his death.'

'This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil,

And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil,

So they came and put a bore down and said they'd make some trials,

They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles.

Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste,

And I couldn't see a hole like that go to flamin' waste,

So I moved the dunny over it - real smart move I thought,

I'd never have to dig again - I'd never be 'caught short'.

The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight,

But I didn't dream poor Granddad would pass away that night,

Now I reckon what has happened - poor Granddad didn't know,

The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go.

And you'll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash--

Well, he always used to hold his breath

Until he heard the splash!!

07-28-09, 10:11 PM

Lost my grand dad in 1997. Thanks for reminding me!

FIREWALL · 07-28-09, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TarJak

Poor old Granddad's passed away, cut off in his prime,

He never had a day off crook - gone before his time,

We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat,

A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet,

The doctor said his heart was good - fit as any trout,

The Constable he had his say, 'foul play' was not ruled out.

There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace,

Of redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space,

No-one had a clue at all - the judge was in some doubt,

When Dad was called to have his say as to how it came about,

'I reckon I can clear it up,' said Dad with trembling breath,

'You see it's quite a story - but it could explain his death.'

'This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil,

And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil,

So they came and put a bore down and said they'd make some trials,

They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles.

Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste,

And I couldn't see a hole like that go to flamin' waste,

So I moved the dunny over it - real smart move I thought,

I'd never have to dig again - I'd never be 'caught short'.

The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight,

But I didn't dream poor Granddad would pass away that night,

Now I reckon what has happened - poor Granddad didn't know,

The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go.

And you'll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash--

Well, he always used to hold his breath

Until he heard the splash!!

Kptlt Thomsen · 07-28-09, 11:49 PM

Sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences

FIREWALL · 07-29-09, 12:06 AM

Get a grip on yourselfs. TarJak posted a joke.

Task Force · 07-29-09, 01:08 AM

Good joke TJ.

err poem I should say.

bookworm_020 · 07-29-09, 02:03 AM

Adds new meaning to a long drop toilet!

Biggles · 07-29-09, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FIREWALL

Get a grip on yourselfs. TarJak posted a joke.

This is no place for joking!!!!!!!!

Ah, comeon, you know I'm not humourless

Jimbuna · 07-29-09, 06:39 AM

Nice one mate

Shearwater · 07-29-09, 02:58 PM

Nice one

Here's one of mine. Shorter, but it rhymes as well.

There once was a man from Down Under
Who, on crapping, was louder than thunder.
So his folks found a trick:
They shoved in a stick
That tore his intestines asunder.

Enjoy

Kptlt Thomsen · 07-29-09, 04:21 PM

It would appear that I have been hooked, llined and sinkered!!

I thought the poor fellow lost his grandfather....

longam · 07-29-09, 04:47 PM

For some reason I started picturing a gusher while gramp's was sitting there.

TarJak · 07-29-09, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kptlt Thomsen

It would appear that I have been hooked, llined and sinkered!!

I thought the poor fellow lost his grandfather....

LOL I lost one of my grandfathers when I wasn 5 the other one is still kicking at 98! Long may he keep on going. And I don't live in the sticks where longdrop dunny's are needed.

Falkirion · 07-29-09, 06:46 PM

Nice one Tarjak. Sound aussie humor that.:rotfl:

Letum · 07-29-09, 07:12 PM

Tarjak:
I'm sorry to hear that. Please accept my condolences.

His passing should be taken by all of us as a lesson about breath control
during bowel movements.

I do think you should relocate your facility again Tarjak. Such a deep hole
might pose a hazard to small children using your facility, not to mention
the danger to anyone else who does not exhale until his excretion has
landed.

Everyone else:
Shame on you for laughing!

07-28-09, 10:06 PM	#1
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	Goodbye Grandad Poor old Granddad's passed away, cut off in his prime, He never had a day off crook - gone before his time, We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat, A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet, The doctor said his heart was good - fit as any trout, The Constable he had his say, 'foul play' was not ruled out. There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace, Of redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space, No-one had a clue at all - the judge was in some doubt, When Dad was called to have his say as to how it came about, 'I reckon I can clear it up,' said Dad with trembling breath, 'You see it's quite a story - but it could explain his death.' 'This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil, And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil, So they came and put a bore down and said they'd make some trials, They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles. Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste, And I couldn't see a hole like that go to flamin' waste, So I moved the dunny over it - real smart move I thought, I'd never have to dig again - I'd never be 'caught short'. The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight, But I didn't dream poor Granddad would pass away that night, Now I reckon what has happened - poor Granddad didn't know, The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go. And you'll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash-- Well, he always used to hold his breath Until he heard the splash!!

07-29-09, 12:06 AM	#5
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	Get a grip on yourselfs. TarJak posted a joke. __________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

07-29-09, 01:08 AM	#6
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Good joke TJ. err poem I should say. __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

07-29-09, 02:03 AM	#7
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Adds new meaning to a long drop toilet! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

07-29-09, 06:39 AM	#9
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,473 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Nice one mate __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

07-28-09, 10:11 PM	#2
CastleBravo Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	Lost my grand dad in 1997. Thanks for reminding me!

07-28-09, 11:49 PM	#4
Kptlt Thomsen Bosun Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada Posts: 68 Downloads: 82 Uploads: 0	Sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences

07-29-09, 02:58 PM	#10
Shearwater Captain Join Date: May 2009 Location: SUBSIM Radio Room (kinda obvious, isn't it) Posts: 542 Downloads: 45 Uploads: 0	Nice one Here's one of mine. Shorter, but it rhymes as well. There once was a man from Down Under Who, on crapping, was louder than thunder. So his folks found a trick: They shoved in a stick That tore his intestines asunder. Enjoy

07-29-09, 04:21 PM	#11
Kptlt Thomsen Bosun Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada Posts: 68 Downloads: 82 Uploads: 0	It would appear that I have been hooked, llined and sinkered!! I thought the poor fellow lost his grandfather....

07-29-09, 04:47 PM	#12
longam Admiral Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2,014 Downloads: 26 Uploads: 0	For some reason I started picturing a gusher while gramp's was sitting there.

07-29-09, 06:46 PM	#14
Falkirion Ace of the Deep Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Melbourne, AUS Posts: 1,043 Downloads: 34 Uploads: 0	Nice one Tarjak. Sound aussie humor that.:rotfl:

07-29-09, 07:12 PM	#15
Letum Navy Seal Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: York - UK Posts: 6,079 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	Tarjak: I'm sorry to hear that. Please accept my condolences. His passing should be taken by all of us as a lesson about breath control during bowel movements. I do think you should relocate your facility again Tarjak. Such a deep hole might pose a hazard to small children using your facility, not to mention the danger to anyone else who does not exhale until his excretion has landed. Everyone else: Shame on you for laughing! __________________