Sex in 1894

Spike88 · 02-27-09, 10:06 AM

I was coming back from the bank today listening to a oldies rock station. This station in particular has a talk show in the mornings. They start talking about this book from 1894 about Husband and Wives and their sex lives. They read some of the tips from it and I'm thinking holy crap is this real? So I get home and look it up. I have to say jeez, this woman is frigid. Now we know where women get the idea of using a headache to call off sex.
Here are the so called "tips"

THE wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly — and as time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

Feigned illness, sleepiness and headaches are among her best friends in this matter.

MOST men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices, including performing the normal act in abnormal positions, mouthing the female body and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn.

A SELFISH and sensual husband can easily take advantage of his wife. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: Give little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.

JUST as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of sexual contacts.

MANY men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must ensure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise he might be encouraged to soon try for more.

A WISE wife will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.

MANY women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pyjamas for their husbands — they need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.

ONCE in bed, the wife should turn off all the lights and make no sound to guide her husband in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement.

WHEN he finds her, she should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness.

DO not encourage him — nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted.

IF he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her any place else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet

IF the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him.

SHE will be absolutely silent while he is huffing and puffing away — she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress.

AS soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow.

CLEVER wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband

Arguments, nagging, scolding and bickering prove very effective if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

BY their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child-bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband.

By this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home.

No wonder prostitutes were popular. :rotfl:

Here's the link for the book on amazon:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sex-Tips-Hus.../dp/1840247029

XabbaRus · 02-27-09, 11:46 AM

I think my wife must have been reading that book. It seems very familiar.

SteamWake · 02-27-09, 11:49 AM

Well Spike your inital reaction was spot on. While the book exists the author does not.

It is religious dogma put together by... well religious zealots.

These days its a cult classic for its humorus content.

http://bookstoysgames.wordpress.com/...ruth-smythers/

By the way 1984 was not all that long ago, sigh makes me feel so old

Thomen · 02-27-09, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteamWake

Well Spike your inital reaction was spot on. While the book exists the author does not.

It is religious dogma put together by... well religious zealots.

These days its a cult classic for its humorus content.

http://bookstoysgames.wordpress.com/...ruth-smythers/

By the way 1984 was not all that long ago, sigh makes me feel so old

You got the numbers mixed up... eheh
1894 not 1984.

SteamWake · 02-27-09, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thomen

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteamWake

Well Spike your inital reaction was spot on. While the book exists the author does not.

It is religious dogma put together by... well religious zealots.

These days its a cult classic for its humorus content.

http://bookstoysgames.wordpress.com/...ruth-smythers/

By the way 1984 was not all that long ago, sigh makes me feel so old

You got the numbers mixed up... eheh
1894 not 1984.

Damn this dislexcia !

Dislexic's untie !

Spike88 · 02-27-09, 03:21 PM

Lol. If 1894 wasn't that long ago, you must be in your three hundreds. :rotfl:

bookworm_020 · 02-27-09, 11:14 PM

I don't know how women would take that advice with today's attitudes!

Fish · 02-28-09, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XabbaRus

I think my wife must have been reading that book. It seems very familiar.

A russian girl? I wonder, I really wonder.

Platapus · 02-28-09, 12:25 PM

Well they say that marriage is proof that two people of the opposite sex can live together without having sex.

nikimcbee · 02-28-09, 01:48 PM

Quote:

A WISE wife will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.

Well, now that depends...
After a certain point in time, you may not want to see much.

nikimcbee · 02-28-09, 01:51 PM

Quote:

MOST men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices, including performing the normal act in abnormal positions, mouthing the female body and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn.

Why would you think that?

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Frame57 · 02-28-09, 01:59 PM

OMG! please do not tell me that is Mr. Bean shakin that thing....I am now a traumatized man...Thanks Nick

Sledgehammer427 · 02-28-09, 02:09 PM

my ex is a scholar of that book. i feel sorry for whoever she marries...
regular late-night sam fisher

nikimcbee · 02-28-09, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frame57

OMG! please do not tell me that is Mr. Bean shakin that thing....I am now a traumatized man...Thanks Nick

Now that, depends on your imagination!

Frame57 · 02-28-09, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikimcbee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frame57

OMG! please do not tell me that is Mr. Bean shakin that thing....I am now a traumatized man...Thanks Nick

Now that, depends on your imagination!

In 1988 while I was stationed at NDSTC Panama City a few of us went to Spinnakers for a nooner. The chipendale dudes were to perform that night and my buddies did not see the flyer when we went in for beers and hot wings. We got our grub and ate it on the beach patio to watch the "girls". One bud started eyeballing the "girls" who were sunbathing about 40 yards away. They were face down wearing thong bikini bottoms, so this sailor starts balking about what he would do to that stuff and so on. I just listened and coaxed him on to the point where he said it would take a team of Clydesdales to pull one of those "chicks" off of his mug. This "chick" got up and lo and behold it was a chipendale dude sporting a moustache to boot. He walked right by us to use the restroom and I just let this junior NCO have it. For the rest of my tour there I did not let that one slide by. I do not think we ever had hotwing at Spinnakers after that episode.

02-27-09, 10:06 AM	#1
Spike88 Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 3,052 Downloads: 36 Uploads: 0	Sex in 1894 I was coming back from the bank today listening to a oldies rock station. This station in particular has a talk show in the mornings. They start talking about this book from 1894 about Husband and Wives and their sex lives. They read some of the tips from it and I'm thinking holy crap is this real? So I get home and look it up. I have to say jeez, this woman is frigid. Now we know where women get the idea of using a headache to call off sex. Here are the so called "tips" THE wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly — and as time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency. Feigned illness, sleepiness and headaches are among her best friends in this matter. MOST men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices, including performing the normal act in abnormal positions, mouthing the female body and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn. A SELFISH and sensual husband can easily take advantage of his wife. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: Give little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust. JUST as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of sexual contacts. MANY men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must ensure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise he might be encouraged to soon try for more. A WISE wife will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. MANY women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pyjamas for their husbands — they need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed. ONCE in bed, the wife should turn off all the lights and make no sound to guide her husband in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. WHEN he finds her, she should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness. DO not encourage him — nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted. IF he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her any place else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet IF the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. SHE will be absolutely silent while he is huffing and puffing away — she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. AS soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. CLEVER wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband Arguments, nagging, scolding and bickering prove very effective if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction. BY their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child-bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home. No wonder prostitutes were popular. :rotfl: Here's the link for the book on amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sex-Tips-Hus.../dp/1840247029

02-27-09, 11:46 AM	#2
XabbaRus Navy Seal Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 5,330 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	I think my wife must have been reading that book. It seems very familiar. __________________

02-27-09, 11:49 AM	#3
SteamWake Rear Admiral Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,224 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Well Spike your inital reaction was spot on. While the book exists the author does not. It is religious dogma put together by... well religious zealots. These days its a cult classic for its humorus content. http://bookstoysgames.wordpress.com/...ruth-smythers/ By the way 1984 was not all that long ago, sigh makes me feel so old __________________ Follow the progress of Mr. Mulligan : http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=147648

02-27-09, 11:14 PM	#7
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	I don't know how women would take that advice with today's attitudes! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

02-28-09, 12:25 PM	#9
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,362 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Well they say that marriage is proof that two people of the opposite sex can live together without having sex. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-27-09, 03:21 PM	#6
Spike88 Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 3,052 Downloads: 36 Uploads: 0	Lol. If 1894 wasn't that long ago, you must be in your three hundreds. :rotfl:

02-28-09, 01:59 PM	#12
Frame57 Sea Lord Join Date: May 2008 Location: 1300 feet on the crapper Posts: 1,860 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	OMG! please do not tell me that is Mr. Bean shakin that thing....I am now a traumatized man...Thanks Nick __________________ "My Religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds." Albert Einstein

02-28-09, 02:09 PM	#13
Sledgehammer427 PacWagon Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Drinking coffee and staring at trees in Massachusetts Posts: 2,908 Downloads: 287 Uploads: 0	my ex is a scholar of that book. i feel sorry for whoever she marries... regular late-night sam fisher __________________ Cold Waters Voice Crew - Fire Control Officer Cmdr O. Myers - C/O USS Nautilus (SS-168) 114,000 tons sunk - 4 Spec Ops completed V-boat Nutcase - Need supplies? Japanese garrison on a small island in the way? Just give us a call! D4C!