Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

Fish · 12-18-08, 05:33 PM

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:
If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

http://www.pinetree.net/humor/thermodynamics.html

UnderseaLcpl · 12-18-08, 05:44 PM

:rotfl:
Always a funny story, if a bit old.

Hylander_1314 · 12-18-08, 05:46 PM

It doesn't rally matter. It's just really really warm there. You may want to pack the shades, some SPF 45 sunblock, and the Bermuda shorts.

A Very Super Market · 12-18-08, 06:33 PM

What if the Bermuda shorts got you into Hell in the first place?

Nicolas · 12-18-08, 06:54 PM

Ive barely read the post, but if love, hate, or soul related feelings, are quimics in your head, i prefer be dead right now. Come on!! you know you have a soul!! you know!! :p

Task Force · 12-18-08, 06:57 PM

I sure hope I never get a question on a biology quiz. My brain would probably play Windows.

(TFs brain crashes to a blue screen."Would someone hit the restart button".)

Task Force · 12-18-08, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Very Super Market

What if the Bermuda shorts got you into Hell in the first place?

That means you were cheating on your wife.

Skybird · 12-18-08, 07:09 PM

Spock must love this!

kiwi_2005 · 12-18-08, 09:11 PM

Yeah but hes only going by one version of Hell. Hell - brimstone and fire one where the wicked live out there enternal lifes in agony etc.,

He has no idea...

subchaser12 · 12-18-08, 10:15 PM

I think any college or institution of higher education that teaches hell is real should have its accredidation pulled.

baggygreen · 12-18-08, 10:19 PM

People, people....

its a joke!

joke

Spelled Pronunciation

[

johk] Show IPA Pronunciation

noun, verb, joked, jok⋅ing. –noun 1.something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him. 2.something that is amusing or ridiculous, esp. because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke. 3.a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke. 4.something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class. 5.practical joke.–verb (used without object) 6.to speak or act in a playful or merry way: He was always joking with us. 7.to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn't really mean it, he was only joking. –verb (used with object) 8.to subject to jokes; make fun of; tease.9.to obtain by joking: The comedian joked coins from the audience.
Origin:
1660–70; < L jocus jest

subchaser12 · 12-18-08, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baggygreen

People, people....

its a joke!

joke

Spelled Pronunciation

[

johk] Show IPA Pronunciation

noun, verb, joked, jok⋅ing. –noun 1.something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him. 2.something that is amusing or ridiculous, esp. because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke. 3.a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke. 4.something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class. 5.practical joke.–verb (used without object) 6.to speak or act in a playful or merry way: He was always joking with us. 7.to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn't really mean it, he was only joking. –verb (used with object) 8.to subject to jokes; make fun of; tease.9.to obtain by joking: The comedian joked coins from the audience.
Origin:
1660–70; < L jocus jest

I know it's a joke, but religion would be a lot funnier if people didn't actually take it seriously. I personally take all my religious views from Monty Python.

August · 12-18-08, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by subchaser12

I know it's a joke, but religion would be a lot funnier if people didn't actually take it seriously. I personally take all my religious views from Monty Python.

But the only one taking it seriously in here is you.

12-19-08, 05:39 AM

Funny, the version of that story I know ends with the opposite conclusion.

Jimbuna · 12-19-08, 06:44 AM

I've honestly never come across it before.....nice one

12-18-08, 05:33 PM	#1
Fish Eternal Patrol Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Netherlands Posts: 1,923 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic? Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic? As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: "First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist: If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic." The student, Tim Graham, got the only A. http://www.pinetree.net/humor/thermodynamics.html

12-18-08, 05:44 PM	#2
UnderseaLcpl Silent Hunter Join Date: May 2008 Location: Storming the beaches! Posts: 4,254 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: Always a funny story, if a bit old. __________________ I stole this sig from Task Force

12-18-08, 05:46 PM	#3
Hylander_1314 Sea Lord Join Date: May 2006 Location: 5 Miles Inland West Of Lake Huron Posts: 1,936 Downloads: 139 Uploads: 0	It doesn't rally matter. It's just really really warm there. You may want to pack the shades, some SPF 45 sunblock, and the Bermuda shorts. __________________ A legislative act contrary to the Constitution is not law. -John Marshall Chief Justice of the Supreme Court ---------------------

12-18-08, 06:33 PM	#4
A Very Super Market The Old Man Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Deep in the Wild Canadian suburbs. Posts: 1,468 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	What if the Bermuda shorts got you into Hell in the first place? __________________ The entire German garrison of Vanviken, right here in your thread!

12-18-08, 06:57 PM	#6
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	I sure hope I never get a question on a biology quiz. My brain would probably play Windows. (TFs brain crashes to a blue screen."Would someone hit the restart button".) __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time" Last edited by Task Force; 12-18-08 at 09:21 PM.

12-18-08, 06:54 PM	#5
Nicolas Commander Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Uruguay Posts: 453 Downloads: 196 Uploads: 4	Ive barely read the post, but if love, hate, or soul related feelings, are quimics in your head, i prefer be dead right now. Come on!! you know you have a soul!! you know!! :p

12-18-08, 07:09 PM	#8
Skybird Soaring Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the mental asylum named Germany Posts: 42,603 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	Spock must love this! __________________ If you feel nuts, consult an expert.

12-18-08, 09:11 PM	#9
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	Yeah but hes only going by one version of Hell. Hell - brimstone and fire one where the wicked live out there enternal lifes in agony etc., He has no idea... __________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

12-18-08, 10:15 PM	#10
subchaser12 Sonar Guy Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Spam, duplicate accounts, provoking moderators. Posts: 377 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	I think any college or institution of higher education that teaches hell is real should have its accredidation pulled.

12-18-08, 10:19 PM	#11
baggygreen Sea Lord Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Canberra, ACT, Down Under (really On Top) Posts: 1,880 Downloads: 7 Uploads: 0	People, people.... its a joke! joke Spelled Pronunciation [johk] Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, joked, jok⋅ing. –noun 1.something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him. 2.something that is amusing or ridiculous, esp. because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke. 3.a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke. 4.something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class. 5.practical joke.–verb (used without object) 6.to speak or act in a playful or merry way: He was always joking with us. 7.to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn't really mean it, he was only joking. –verb (used with object) 8.to subject to jokes; make fun of; tease.9.to obtain by joking: The comedian joked coins from the audience. Origin: 1660–70; < L jocus jest Last edited by baggygreen; 12-18-08 at 10:23 PM.

12-19-08, 05:39 AM	#14
Bewolf Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	Funny, the version of that story I know ends with the opposite conclusion.

12-19-08, 06:44 AM	#15
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,473 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I've honestly never come across it before.....nice one __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!