Why do men die first

Jimbuna · 12-17-08, 08:26 AM

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation……..

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet ..... its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ..... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ...... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favour. If you appreciate the female form and sexy underwear ..... you're a pervert. If you don't ... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape ..... you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers ... you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache ..... you don't love her anymore. If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

Because they want to!

UnderseaLcpl · 12-17-08, 09:01 AM

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

When you put it that way, being depth-charged doesn't sound so bad.

1480 · 12-17-08, 09:03 AM

aye men ah!

Wolfehunter · 12-17-08, 09:07 AM

YES YES the answers. I found them that its.

Thanks Jim for you wisdom. Thankyou very much... now where is my wife...she has to read this. :rotfl:

Its an education.

Frame57 · 12-17-08, 12:59 PM

Yep, I agree and it is funny to be sure. In my family all the men have indeed died first. My uncles are are gone my dad in gone etc... I really think it is from the stress they have for being the bread winner or else it is just in our genes. But then again in a sardonic way I always viewed my aunts and mother as harpies who are never satisfied with anything. Since my dad passed I take care of my mother and anything that i do for her is wrong. I told my dad that i would not put her in a home but since I have been caring for her my blood pressure has sky rocketed. Hmmm! I think I will go buy a cemetary plot today....

Letum · 12-17-08, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frame57

[...]I really think it is from the stress[...]

...No. It is because the Female menapause prolongs lifespan.
The male manapause usualy has little effect as it only happens in the late 90s, if at all.

Jimbuna · 12-17-08, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frame57

Yep, I agree and it is funny to be sure. In my family all the men have indeed died first. My uncles are are gone my dad in gone etc... I really think it is from the stress they have for being the bread winner or else it is just in our genes. But then again in a sardonic way I always viewed my aunts and mother as harpies who are never satisfied with anything. Since my dad passed I take care of my mother and anything that i do for her is wrong. I told my dad that i would not put her in a home but since I have been caring for her my blood pressure has sky rocketed. Hmmm! I think I will go buy a cemetary plot today....

Whaaaaaaat!!!!

Frame57 · 12-17-08, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Letum

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frame57

[...]I really think it is from the stress[...]

...No. It is because the Female menapause prolongs lifespan.
The male manapause usualy has little effect as it only happens in the late 90s, if at all.

So if i get a sex change, do i get in on that deal?

Letum · 12-17-08, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frame57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Letum

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frame57

[...]I really think it is from the stress[...]

...No. It is because the Female menapause prolongs lifespan.
The male manapause usualy has little effect as it only happens in the late 90s, if at all.

So if i get a sex change, do i get in on that deal?

Castration followed by very mild HRT may give you an extra few years, but it's not the
length that makes a play good, but the storyline and the quality of the acting.

kiwi_2005 · 12-18-08, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation……..

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet ..... its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ..... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ...... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favour. If you appreciate the female form and sexy underwear ..... you're a pervert. If you don't ... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape ..... you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers ... you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache ..... you don't love her anymore. If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

Because they want to!

Oh man im going to put this up in a forum thats pretty much dominated by females. Its gonna be fun i will be bitched at for weeks! Payback time!

Christopher Snow · 12-18-08, 03:43 AM

This one is a true internet classic (kudos, jimbuna). And all to true too, at the same time.

If you don't believe it, just run it (the original post) past your favorite "open minded gal" (don't forget the "Why do men die first? Because they want to!" part)...

...and she'll laugh.

But not wholeheartedly.

I suspect YOU'LL freeze, too, at the sudden "chill in the air" over the course of the next few days....

[Prepare to sleep out in the doghouse, too, for a few days after. Just in case.

Take extra blankets]

CS

kiwi_2005 · 12-18-08, 03:53 AM

How to treat a Woman:
Wine her.
Dine her.
Call her.
Hold her.
Surprise her.
Compliment her.
Smile at her.
Listen to her.
Laugh with her.
Cry with her.
Romance her.
Encourage her.
Believe in her.
Pray with her.
Pray for her.
Cuddle with her.
Shop with her.
Give her jewelry.
Buy her flowers.
Hold her hand.
Write love letters to her.
Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.
===
How To Treat a Man:
Show up naked.
Bring chicken wings.
Don't block the TV

HunterICX · 12-18-08, 04:35 AM

:rotfl:Nice one Kiwi

HunterICX

Task Force · 12-18-08, 04:38 PM

:rotfl:at jim and kiwi.:rotfl:

12-17-08, 08:26 AM	#1
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why do men die first Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation…….. If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet ..... its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ..... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ...... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favour. If you appreciate the female form and sexy underwear ..... you're a pervert. If you don't ... you're gay. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape ..... you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers ... you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache ..... you don't love her anymore. If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else. Why do men die first? Because they want to! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-17-08, 09:01 AM	#2
UnderseaLcpl Silent Hunter Join Date: May 2008 Location: Storming the beaches! Posts: 4,254 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: When you put it that way, being depth-charged doesn't sound so bad. __________________ I stole this sig from Task Force

12-17-08, 09:03 AM	#3
1480 Lead Slinger Join Date: May 2007 Location: Chitcago, Illinoise Posts: 1,442 Downloads: 74 Uploads: 0	aye men ah! __________________

12-17-08, 09:07 AM	#4
Wolfehunter Crusty Capt. Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,752 Downloads: 40 Uploads: 25	YES YES the answers. I found them that its. Thanks Jim for you wisdom. Thankyou very much... now where is my wife...she has to read this. :rotfl: Its an education. __________________

12-18-08, 03:43 AM	#11
Christopher Snow Engineer Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 201 Downloads: 6 Uploads: 0	This one is a true internet classic (kudos, jimbuna). And all to true too, at the same time. If you don't believe it, just run it (the original post) past your favorite "open minded gal" (don't forget the "Why do men die first? Because they want to!" part)... ...and she'll laugh. But not wholeheartedly. I suspect YOU'LL freeze, too, at the sudden "chill in the air" over the course of the next few days.... [Prepare to sleep out in the doghouse, too, for a few days after. Just in case. Take extra blankets] CS Last edited by Christopher Snow; 12-18-08 at 03:50 AM.

12-17-08, 12:59 PM	#5
Frame57 Sea Lord Join Date: May 2008 Location: 1300 feet on the crapper Posts: 1,860 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Yep, I agree and it is funny to be sure. In my family all the men have indeed died first. My uncles are are gone my dad in gone etc... I really think it is from the stress they have for being the bread winner or else it is just in our genes. But then again in a sardonic way I always viewed my aunts and mother as harpies who are never satisfied with anything. Since my dad passed I take care of my mother and anything that i do for her is wrong. I told my dad that i would not put her in a home but since I have been caring for her my blood pressure has sky rocketed. Hmmm! I think I will go buy a cemetary plot today....

12-18-08, 03:53 AM	#12
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	How to treat a Woman: Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Pray with her. Pray for her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her. === How To Treat a Man: Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV __________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

12-18-08, 04:35 AM	#13
HunterICX Rear Admiral Join Date: May 2006 Location: Malaga, España Posts: 10,750 Downloads: 8 Uploads: 0	:rotfl:Nice one Kiwi HunterICX __________________

12-18-08, 04:38 PM	#14
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	:rotfl:at jim and kiwi.:rotfl: __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"