"Message received..."

the.terrabyte.pirate · 03-16-08, 10:16 PM

From: Bdu
To: J. S. Balz, F. Von Titz

Listen Up, And Listen Good.

You Two Morons Are Ruining The Professional Reputation Of The Kreigsmarine, Of The U-boat Service, And Of The Fatherland.

Your Antics Are Both Dangerously Reckless, And Criminally Stupid. I Can Only Hope That The Comedy You Have Both Reported Are Products Only Of Your Addled Imaginations, Or The Need To Incessantly Stroke Your Ego's, For If I Find A Trace Of Evidence That A German Officer Actually Boarded An English Vessel To Sign Autographs, Or That A Member Of The Service Was Poked With An Umbrella And Used As A Iceberg Echo Sounder, Then The Ramifications For You Two Fools Will Not Be Pleasant.

You Are Hereby Ordered To Return The Closest Port At The Best Practical Speed For Medical Evaluation. You Will Not Investigate Convoys Or Contacts. You Will Do Nothing To Endanger The Boat Or It's Crew. Any Deviation From These Orders Will Result In You Being Relieved Of Your Commands And Detained For A Military Tribunal By Your Respective First Officers.

Once Ashore, Your Mental States Will Be Evaluated And Your Reports Investigated. If You Are Found To Be Sane, Then You Will Be Shot. If You Are Found To Be Insane, Then You Will Be Medicated And Sent To The Eastern Front Where Your Deluded Ramblings Can Only Entertain The Russians, And You Are No Longer A Threat To The Men Under Your "command". In Either Case, You Will Serve As An Example And A Warning To Other U-boat Captains In The Service.

God Help Us, I Hope I Can Undo The Damange You Two Clowns Have Caused.

Admiral Donutz

panzer 49th · 03-16-08, 10:21 PM

Veryyyyy....interesting. But entertaining and fun to read

Freiwillige · 03-16-08, 10:39 PM

From:Fritz von Titz aboard U-1/4th

To:B.D.U.

Were sorry to report that that the great Baron Fritz von Titz is unavailable to answer your call as he is currently aboard the HMS Rodney sighning autographs and selling his albums (Which are all the rage in Englicheland) When he returns after the traditional ceremony where by the H.M.S. Rodney will scuttle herself in his honor,
After that he will be busy promoting his new book with the Fuhrer entitled (How to be like me in just 30 minutes a day!) Then of course after all of that I will have him contact you. That is if he has not become commander of the B.D.U. by then.

GoldenRivet · 03-16-08, 10:52 PM

well written letter pirate. (it woult probably be the result of such antics)

and good response from freiwillige too.

the.terrabyte.pirate · 03-17-08, 03:55 AM

FROM: BDU
TO: "Baron" Von Titz

Your Uncle Karl knows very well that you only received the title "Baron" because your mother had the forsight to use it as your first name. You have been unable to prove your ancestry, and I doubt that any house of nobility, or indeed any of the men your mother spent time with nine months before your inglorious birth in that alehouse, would recognise your claim. It only goes to show that indeed you have been drinking salt water again. Please refrain from this as it is not in the U-Boat instuctional manuals.

I have investigated your ascention to captain of your vessel. Your recruiting officer, trainers, and the clerk you bribed to change "Unfit to command a bathtub" to "Fit to command the Tirpitz" on your personnell file, have been sent to Stalingrad with my compliments. Don't be too upset. You will join them shortly.

As previously ordered, return to port immediately. Any port will do, even an allied one. Just getting your damn fool hide captured and festering in a british POW camp will make me once again believe in God.

Should this message be received and the "esteemed" captain Titz not be present, I order the first officer to maroon that idiot wherever the hell he is, and return to the Fatherland immediately.

Admiral Donutz

Freiwillige · 03-17-08, 04:17 AM

Teletype mark urgent

To:B.D.U.

From:Reich chancellery Berlin, Fuhrer H.Q.

From this day forth I have promoted Fritz von Titz C&C of the Deutsches Kreigsmarine. His sacrifice and tireless duty to the fatherland is duly noted.

Also on this day forth J.S. Balz is promoted to head of the Unterseebootwaffe arm of the Kreigsmarine where he can hence forth teach his Hoochie woochie style of submarine warfare to all new Kadets serving our glorious Fatherland. From this day forward all Kaleuns are required to wear tea cozy's as a part of their proper uniform.

Doenitz has been promoted to the rank of the Fuhrer's dog walker. He is to report to Obersalzberg immediatly. Although since he is a navy man and a submariner by trade he is also required to show up in a tea cozy.

Fuhrer H.Q. ende

03-16-08, 10:16 PM	#1
the.terrabyte.pirate Navy Dude Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 176 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	"Message received..." From: Bdu To: J. S. Balz, F. Von Titz Listen Up, And Listen Good. You Two Morons Are Ruining The Professional Reputation Of The Kreigsmarine, Of The U-boat Service, And Of The Fatherland. Your Antics Are Both Dangerously Reckless, And Criminally Stupid. I Can Only Hope That The Comedy You Have Both Reported Are Products Only Of Your Addled Imaginations, Or The Need To Incessantly Stroke Your Ego's, For If I Find A Trace Of Evidence That A German Officer Actually Boarded An English Vessel To Sign Autographs, Or That A Member Of The Service Was Poked With An Umbrella And Used As A Iceberg Echo Sounder, Then The Ramifications For You Two Fools Will Not Be Pleasant. You Are Hereby Ordered To Return The Closest Port At The Best Practical Speed For Medical Evaluation. You Will Not Investigate Convoys Or Contacts. You Will Do Nothing To Endanger The Boat Or It's Crew. Any Deviation From These Orders Will Result In You Being Relieved Of Your Commands And Detained For A Military Tribunal By Your Respective First Officers. Once Ashore, Your Mental States Will Be Evaluated And Your Reports Investigated. If You Are Found To Be Sane, Then You Will Be Shot. If You Are Found To Be Insane, Then You Will Be Medicated And Sent To The Eastern Front Where Your Deluded Ramblings Can Only Entertain The Russians, And You Are No Longer A Threat To The Men Under Your "command". In Either Case, You Will Serve As An Example And A Warning To Other U-boat Captains In The Service. God Help Us, I Hope I Can Undo The Damange You Two Clowns Have Caused. Admiral Donutz __________________ A kings ransom, or a stove boat.

03-16-08, 10:21 PM	#2
panzer 49th Weps Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 361 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Veryyyyy....interesting. But entertaining and fun to read __________________

03-16-08, 10:52 PM	#4
GoldenRivet Subsim Aviator Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 8,726 Downloads: 146 Uploads: 0	well written letter pirate. (it woult probably be the result of such antics) and good response from freiwillige too. __________________

03-17-08, 03:55 AM	#5
the.terrabyte.pirate Navy Dude Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 176 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	FROM: BDU TO: "Baron" Von Titz Your Uncle Karl knows very well that you only received the title "Baron" because your mother had the forsight to use it as your first name. You have been unable to prove your ancestry, and I doubt that any house of nobility, or indeed any of the men your mother spent time with nine months before your inglorious birth in that alehouse, would recognise your claim. It only goes to show that indeed you have been drinking salt water again. Please refrain from this as it is not in the U-Boat instuctional manuals. I have investigated your ascention to captain of your vessel. Your recruiting officer, trainers, and the clerk you bribed to change "Unfit to command a bathtub" to "Fit to command the Tirpitz" on your personnell file, have been sent to Stalingrad with my compliments. Don't be too upset. You will join them shortly. As previously ordered, return to port immediately. Any port will do, even an allied one. Just getting your damn fool hide captured and festering in a british POW camp will make me once again believe in God. Should this message be received and the "esteemed" captain Titz not be present, I order the first officer to maroon that idiot wherever the hell he is, and return to the Fatherland immediately. Admiral Donutz __________________ A kings ransom, or a stove boat.

03-16-08, 10:39 PM	#3
Freiwillige The Old Man Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Phx. Az Posts: 1,458 Downloads: 24 Uploads: 0	From:Fritz von Titz aboard U-1/4th To:B.D.U. Were sorry to report that that the great Baron Fritz von Titz is unavailable to answer your call as he is currently aboard the HMS Rodney sighning autographs and selling his albums (Which are all the rage in Englicheland) When he returns after the traditional ceremony where by the H.M.S. Rodney will scuttle herself in his honor, After that he will be busy promoting his new book with the Fuhrer entitled (How to be like me in just 30 minutes a day!) Then of course after all of that I will have him contact you. That is if he has not become commander of the B.D.U. by then.

03-17-08, 04:17 AM	#6
Freiwillige The Old Man Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Phx. Az Posts: 1,458 Downloads: 24 Uploads: 0	Teletype mark urgent To:B.D.U. From:Reich chancellery Berlin, Fuhrer H.Q. From this day forth I have promoted Fritz von Titz C&C of the Deutsches Kreigsmarine. His sacrifice and tireless duty to the fatherland is duly noted. Also on this day forth J.S. Balz is promoted to head of the Unterseebootwaffe arm of the Kreigsmarine where he can hence forth teach his Hoochie woochie style of submarine warfare to all new Kadets serving our glorious Fatherland. From this day forward all Kaleuns are required to wear tea cozy's as a part of their proper uniform. Doenitz has been promoted to the rank of the Fuhrer's dog walker. He is to report to Obersalzberg immediatly. Although since he is a navy man and a submariner by trade he is also required to show up in a tea cozy. Fuhrer H.Q. ende