"How Not to Launch the Commandoes" and other stories (pictures)

Skubber · 04-14-07, 01:26 PM

"For Extraordinary heroism during the 0 war patrol of that vessel"

Part One: That Vessel

That Vessel, otherwise known as USS Pollack, set out for her 0 war patrol on December 10, 1941.
Our first mission was challenging. My hands were shaking as I read the orders:

"Take detailed photo reconnaissance of your own base."

In the three-to-four minutes that this daunting mission took to complete,
the crew handled themselves like the well-trained sailors that they are.

After assuring command that all our ships were still safe in the harbor, we set sail for the next
stage of our mission.

Part Two: "How Not to Launch the Commandos"

Commando insertion is always difficult and challenging, escpecially for the soldiers who must
secretly and skillfully infiltrate enemy territory.

unorthodox commando insertion

I am not sure if all the commandos made it safely ashore. But I think I am not supposed to know.
That is all part of the secret nature of their operations.

Personally, my opinion is that the upturned inflatable
combined with the flailing paddles, not to mention the loud metallic clanging and banging as they
collided repeatedly with the submarine, were all part of a fantastically well-executed decoy strategy.
During this whole episode the real commandoes were probably already far inland conducting operations.

Part Three: "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry"

Things happen while at sea. Strange things. During storms, ball lightning dances from the rigging. Crewmembers become as transparent as ghosts in the fog. Their eyes pop out of their heads, or glow demoniacally.
Whole ships disappear without a trace.

There is one man who knows what lies behind these mysteries. He is our exec, Stanley S. Sepulcher. If you want to know the secret behing the mystery, just go on and ask him:

Are you sure you don't want to ask him?

He'd really like to get you up on that table, I think...

Part Four: "Braving the Storm"

The hardest parts of our mission behind us, we turned the ship towards home. Except that home
had changed again, and no one had told us. Ahah! Now I understood why HQ wanted that photo reconnaissance.
Our base was about to fall into enemy hands, and they did not want to forget what it looked like!
Genius.

I wish they had remembered to mention the base change, though. But I am sure they had their reasons.

When our patrol was about to come to a close, sure enough a storm came up. Stanley cackled gleefully as the lightning danced from the rigging. He borrowed a cleaver from the cook and began sharpening it. I'm not sure why.

The waves thundered below us as we fired up our MK-1 flying submarine and headed for home.
And that's all there is for this story.

sqk7744 · 04-14-07, 01:34 PM

Classic!

Now I need another coffee, as the current cup was jettisoned via nose :p

shad43 · 04-14-07, 01:35 PM

Morts · 04-14-07, 01:37 PM

:rotfl: :rotfl:

ATR-42 · 04-14-07, 01:46 PM

LMAO!! well done! that was funny :p

hmatthias · 04-14-07, 01:57 PM

Great Job! I loved the "unorthodox commando insertion" part. You can either complain about the bugs, or laugh about them. Glad you chose the latter.

Skubber · 04-14-07, 02:07 PM

Yes, I hope people don't get the wrong idea.

I absolutely love this game.

DeepSix · 04-14-07, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skubber

It's like you read my mind. I had one of these commando insertions, too, and took a remarkably similar screenshot with the intention of posting it here along with a "Bernard!" comment (obviously didn't get around to it) -- glad to know others have had similar thoughts!

XanderF · 04-14-07, 02:23 PM

ROFL

You forgot to mention the mumbling in Latin while he was sharpening the meat cleaver, though.

nfitzsimmons · 04-14-07, 02:35 PM

Redrum, redrum....

Steeltrap · 04-14-07, 03:28 PM

Quote:

The waves thundered below us as we fired up our MK-1 flying submarine and headed for home

LMAO......have noticed this too. Seems to be a problem with the degree of pitch allowed by their model. It's also really evident if you change depth at low speed - you don't 'tilt' at all, just zoom up or down.

Cheers

Sailor Steve · 04-14-07, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skubber

Stanley S. Sepulcher.

I'm afraid to ask, but I really must know:

What does the 'S.' stand for?

NefariousKoel · 04-14-07, 04:10 PM

Sociopath?

Safe-Keeper · 04-14-07, 04:16 PM

I loved the first pic' of the guy behind the 'desk':rotfl:.

SteamWake · 04-14-07, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skubber

Our first mission was challenging. My hands were shaking as I read the orders:

"Take detailed photo reconnaissance of your own base."

LOL classic :p

04-14-07, 01:26 PM	#1
Skubber Officer Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Rochester, NY, USA Posts: 239 Downloads: 36 Uploads: 0	"How Not to Launch the Commandoes" and other stories (pictures) "For Extraordinary heroism during the 0 war patrol of that vessel" Part One: That Vessel That Vessel, otherwise known as USS Pollack, set out for her 0 war patrol on December 10, 1941. Our first mission was challenging. My hands were shaking as I read the orders: "Take detailed photo reconnaissance of your own base." In the three-to-four minutes that this daunting mission took to complete, the crew handled themselves like the well-trained sailors that they are. After assuring command that all our ships were still safe in the harbor, we set sail for the next stage of our mission. Part Two: "How Not to Launch the Commandos" Commando insertion is always difficult and challenging, escpecially for the soldiers who must secretly and skillfully infiltrate enemy territory. unorthodox commando insertion I am not sure if all the commandos made it safely ashore. But I think I am not supposed to know. That is all part of the secret nature of their operations. Personally, my opinion is that the upturned inflatable combined with the flailing paddles, not to mention the loud metallic clanging and banging as they collided repeatedly with the submarine, were all part of a fantastically well-executed decoy strategy. During this whole episode the real commandoes were probably already far inland conducting operations. Part Three: "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry" Things happen while at sea. Strange things. During storms, ball lightning dances from the rigging. Crewmembers become as transparent as ghosts in the fog. Their eyes pop out of their heads, or glow demoniacally. Whole ships disappear without a trace. There is one man who knows what lies behind these mysteries. He is our exec, Stanley S. Sepulcher. If you want to know the secret behing the mystery, just go on and ask him: Are you sure you don't want to ask him? He'd really like to get you up on that table, I think... Part Four: "Braving the Storm" The hardest parts of our mission behind us, we turned the ship towards home. Except that home had changed again, and no one had told us. Ahah! Now I understood why HQ wanted that photo reconnaissance. Our base was about to fall into enemy hands, and they did not want to forget what it looked like! Genius. I wish they had remembered to mention the base change, though. But I am sure they had their reasons. When our patrol was about to come to a close, sure enough a storm came up. Stanley cackled gleefully as the lightning danced from the rigging. He borrowed a cleaver from the cook and began sharpening it. I'm not sure why. The waves thundered below us as we fired up our MK-1 flying submarine and headed for home. And that's all there is for this story. __________________ "I wish to have no Connection with any Ship that does not Sail fast for I intend to go in harm's way." - Captain John Paul Jones, 1778 Last edited by Skubber; 04-14-07 at 02:05 PM.

04-14-07, 01:34 PM	#2
sqk7744 Ace of the Deep Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: ~About 60' below Posts: 1,150 Downloads: 7 Uploads: 0	"How Not to Launch the Commandoes" and other stories Classic! Now I need another coffee, as the current cup was jettisoned via nose :p

04-14-07, 01:46 PM	#5
ATR-42 Commodore Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Jersey Shore Posts: 606 Downloads: 20 Uploads: 6	LMAO!! well done! that was funny :p __________________

04-14-07, 02:07 PM	#7
Skubber Officer Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Rochester, NY, USA Posts: 239 Downloads: 36 Uploads: 0	Yes, I hope people don't get the wrong idea. I absolutely love this game. __________________ "I wish to have no Connection with any Ship that does not Sail fast for I intend to go in harm's way." - Captain John Paul Jones, 1778

04-14-07, 02:23 PM	#9
XanderF Samurai Navy Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 554 Downloads: 14 Uploads: 0	ROFL You forgot to mention the mumbling in Latin while he was sharpening the meat cleaver, though. __________________

04-14-07, 01:35 PM	#3
shad43 Frogman Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: six feet under Posts: 301 Downloads: 21 Uploads: 0

04-14-07, 01:37 PM	#4
Morts Admiral Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Denmark Posts: 2,395 Downloads: 23 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: :rotfl:

04-14-07, 01:57 PM	#6
hmatthias Loader Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: United States Posts: 82 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Great Job! I loved the "unorthodox commando insertion" part. You can either complain about the bugs, or laugh about them. Glad you chose the latter.

04-14-07, 02:35 PM	#10
nfitzsimmons Planesman Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Colorado, USA Posts: 180 Downloads: 118 Uploads: 0	Redrum, redrum....

04-14-07, 04:10 PM	#13
NefariousKoel Ace of the Deep Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: No-good Missouri scum Posts: 1,223 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	Sociopath? __________________ "When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different." - Jack Handey

04-14-07, 04:16 PM	#14
Safe-Keeper Ocean Warrior Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Norway Posts: 3,234 Downloads: 11 Uploads: 0	I loved the first pic' of the guy behind the 'desk':rotfl:. __________________ First Strike Mod tester. Hardcore sub skipper.