God and the Harley Davidson

[kiwi_2005]

No offense intended to the God fearing ppl out there, besides i like to think God has a sense of humor, i mean when God created the Monkey he was using his 'Sense of Humor' powwa!


The inventor Arthur Davidson, of the Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Ah, yes!"
"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust and finally,
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous.
"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

[kiwi_2005]

Oooops was suppose to be in General!

[Dutch]

Wahoo! ......wait.........I don't get it :hmm:

[Heibges]

Jesus and Moses are out playing golf. They come up to the 15th hole, which is a 200yd par 3 over a serious water hazzard, and Jesus gets out his 8 iron.

Moses says, "Whoa there Jesus, what are you doing with that 8 Iron."

Jesus replied, "I'm taking my shot."

Moses said, "there is no way you are going to clear that pond with an 8 iron.

To which Jesus replied, "If Tiger Woods can do it, I can do it."

So Jesus starts his backswing, gets underneath the ball, and after going almost straight up, the ball lands in the middle of the water.

Jesus says to Moses, "That's my lucky ball, would you go and get it?"

So Moses goes out into the slimy pond, and after looking around finally finds the ball. He gets out of the water and returns the ball to Jesus.

Jesus tees up the ball, and addresses it with his 8 Iron.

"Come on," Moses says, "you are never going to get across 200yds of water with an 8 Iron."

Resolutely Jesus says "If Tiger Woods can do it I can do it."

This time Jesus tops the ball, and it skips along the fairway into the pond. Jesus looks at Moses pleadingly. Moses shakes his head and goes after Jesus' lucky ball again.

Moses hands the ball to Jesus and says, "This time you are going to get the ball yourself if it goes in the watet. And put away that stupid 8 iron.

Jesus simply says "If Tiger Woods can do it, I can do it."

So Jesus hits away, and although it has a little better arc, the ball ends up in the water hazzard.

Moses turns his head, folds his arms,and looks away.

Jesus shrugs his shoulders, and walks out across the water to get his ball.

After all this time, the next pairing comes to the tee from the 14th hole. Looking at Jesus walking on the water, one of them says to Moses:

"Who does that guy think he is Jesus Christ."

Moses replies, "No, that's the problem, he thinks he's Tiger Woods!"

[Kapitan]

Some good ones :rotfl: :rotfl:

[The Avon Lady]

Bah! What was Moses getting all wet for?!

[kiwi_2005]

Modern Military Terms

Engage the Enemy means "to blow something up."

Surgical Strike means "to blow up something small."

Decapitate means "to blow up their leaders."

Collateral Damage means "to accidentally blow up something of theirs."

Friendly Fire means "to accidentally blow up something of ours."

Target of Opportunity means "to blow something up on a whim"

Kinetic Targeting means "to blow up something that's moving"

Ordnance is "something that that does the blowing up"

An Asset is "something that can be blown up"

Embedded Media means "a report that's blown out of proportion"

[Onkel Neal]

Originally Posted by kiwi_2005

Modern Military Terms

adapted

Upgrade Radio Room Forums means "to blow up Neal's weekend."