Final countdown to zero hour

[GoldenRivet]

Gentlemen, ladies, distinguished lurkers, lunkers and aces of the deep.

For many months, plans have been set into place, personnel mobilized; fortunes, sweat, toil and tears invested... And at long last, the hour is upon us.

Saturday, December the 13th 2014... By the time the sun fades on the western horizon of Texas, your Goldenrivet will be entered into matrimony with a lovely, elegant, classical beauty of a woman many hundreds of fathoms out of his league. My love for her... I cannot measure, and despite a pitiful mess like me failing to deserve it... Her love, in return, I receive as a gift every day.

With each passing hour a curious combination of feelings engulf me. I have the growing desire to both vomit, and laugh with delight. I fear I may do both.

Wish me luck brethren!