Opinion! New Love: A Short Shelf Life

Gerald · 12-02-12, 08:48 PM

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IN fairy tales, marriages last happily ever after. Science, however, tells us that wedded bliss has but a limited shelf life.

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American and European researchers tracked 1,761 people who got married and stayed married over the course of 15 years. The findings were clear: newlyweds enjoy a big happiness boost that lasts, on average, for just two years. Then the special joy wears off and they are back where they started, at least in terms of happiness. The findings, from a 2003 study, have been confirmed by several recent studies.

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The good news for the holiday season when families gather in various configurations is that if couples get past that two-year slump and hang on — for another couple of decades — they may well recover the excitement of the honeymoon period 18 to 20 years later, when children are gone. Then, in the freedom of the so-called empty nest, partners are left to discover one another — and often their early bliss — once again.

When love is new, we have the rare capacity to experience great happiness while being stuck in traffic or getting our teeth cleaned. We are in the throes of what researchers call passionate love, a state of intense longing, desire and attraction. In time, this love generally morphs into companionate love, a less impassioned blend of deep affection and connection. The reason is that human beings are, as more than a hundred studies show, prone to hedonic adaptation, a measurable and innate capacity to become habituated or inured to most life changes.

Family life, a slice of life.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/02/op...helf-life.html

Note: December 1, 2012

Gerald · 12-03-12, 11:38 AM

A marriage is associated with a lot, a lifelong "project",

AVGWarhawk · 12-03-12, 12:16 PM

I can agree with what is accessed. After 19 years of marriage, the path as noted above looks to be accurate. We have two teenagers. My wife has already been thinking about the empty nest ordeal. However, we do spend time doing things together without the kids and it should be a little less dreadful when our youngest heads out of the nest. As far as physical affection there is plenty of it and not much different that when dating.

Vendor is correct. Marriage is a lifelong project. More so a garden that needs to be fed, watered and weeded regularly.

12-03-12, 11:38 AM	#2
Gerald SUBSIM Newsman Join Date: May 2008 Location: Close to sea Posts: 24,254 Downloads: 553 Uploads: 0	A marriage is associated with a lot, a lifelong "project", __________________ Nothing in life is to be feard,it is only to be understood. Marie Curie

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12-03-12, 12:16 PM	#3
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,257 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	I can agree with what is accessed. After 19 years of marriage, the path as noted above looks to be accurate. We have two teenagers. My wife has already been thinking about the empty nest ordeal. However, we do spend time doing things together without the kids and it should be a little less dreadful when our youngest heads out of the nest. As far as physical affection there is plenty of it and not much different that when dating. Vendor is correct. Marriage is a lifelong project. More so a garden that needs to be fed, watered and weeded regularly.