Funny signs I wish existed

[Platapus]

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

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In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

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On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

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At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in. "

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On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

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On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

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On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."

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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."

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At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.."

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On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

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In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

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On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

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At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

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On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

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On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

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At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."


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Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

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At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."

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In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

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At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."

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And don't forget the sign at a
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

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Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises "