Official Eurogamer Review!!!

[Hyfrydle]

Oh dear this does not look good.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/si...unter-5-review

[mookiemookie]

Hard to argue with their assessment.

[Cap'n Blake]

"Sexual tension as men rub past one another in corridors"
"phallic sea monster"
"God-groan of your penile vessel being warped by unknowable pressure"

I mean what the hell was that all about? I once had an impression that Eurogamer was quality review site...but obviously that was a long time ago.

[oscar19681]

Originally Posted by Cap'n Blake

"Sexual tension as men rub past one another in corridors"
"phallic sea monster"
"God-groan of your penile vessel being warped by unknowable pressure"

I mean what the hell was that all about? I once had an impression that Eurogamer was quality review site...but obviously that was a long time ago.

The first line sounds like its coming from some kind of gay magazine or somehing

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Cap'n Blake

"Sexual tension as men rub past one another in corridors"
"phallic sea monster"
"God-groan of your penile vessel being warped by unknowable pressure"

I mean what the hell was that all about? I once had an impression that Eurogamer was quality review site...but obviously that was a long time ago.

Exactly. I just breezed over the rest after reading this in the first friggin page. This is not necessary in a 'professional' review.....

[JamesT73J]

It's actually a pretty fair review. I hope they come back and look at things again in 6 months.

[Nisgeis]

Reading about the game made me want to play the game . Loading it now...

[Cap'n Blake]

After all tt was pretty "good" review except for some teenage humor on the first page. I agree almost 100% with the review.

[Iron Budokan]

The reviewer's attempt at high school sexual humor are pretty much fail.

But the review of the game itself, the myriad problems he brings out, sound comparable to what I've been hearing on this board.

[kylania]

I dunno, that was a pretty childish and vague review. The first two pages seem like nothing more than a generic forum rant. Hint at a lot of things, complain about a lot of things, but never really offer and specifics. Most of his first page is nothing more than a flowery setup for a stupid "bugs are difficulty setting" joke.

Page 3 adds in some real concerns, but i really get the sense he only played the tutorial and perhaps the first mission. His expectations for the tutorial are way more than any game tutorial would include. No game I've seen has in game interactive tutorials for everything like "emergency maneuvers" and "hunting tactics". It also shouldn't take 5 hours to do the first mission however unless you're totally new and have no idea what you're doing. (or you suck with torpedoes like I do!) It's also plainly obvious that he didn't progress in the campaign at all. His one description of combat is from a very early battle. Reports from people here that actually played the game confirm that as you progress the AI gets far smarter and more dangerous.

It looks to me like this guy just took a cursory glance at best, (the level of detail in his review could have been picked up just by skimming posts here) met a few bugs and decided to make a gay-joke-filled troll about it and call it a "review". Just like you can't review an MMO with only a few hours of play you can't review a game like Silent Hunter 5 with only a mission or two's worth of gameplay.

[gimpy117]

I agree. I'm glad he acknowledges that undoubtedly the game will be patched (and fixed by us ) but I think the reason its "a childish and vague review" is because its frankly a vague game. it's like Silent hunter 4 boiled down to a point where most of the features that were key to the success of your mission are gone. I mean hell i cant even dive deep without worrying im gonna hit bottom because there's no depth under keel!

[Faamecanic]

Originally Posted by Cap'n Blake

"Sexual tension as men rub past one another in corridors"
"phallic sea monster"
"God-groan of your penile vessel being warped by unknowable pressure"

I mean what the hell was that all about? I once had an impression that Eurogamer was quality review site...but obviously that was a long time ago.

In my best Freud voice "It seems the reviewer suffers from Penis envy"

[The Enigma]

It's almost like reading the reviews and comments in here.

You may like it or not, but compared to the other reviews out there, this one dears to point to the weak aspects of this game (and that is fair to me).

There is a lot of work to do for the modders.

[HundertzehnGustav]

As was the case with Silent Hunter 3 and 4, it's likely that between Ubisoft and the boys at Subsim.com (who've already released a glut of mods which, among other things, disable Silent Hunter 5's currently broken morale system) Silent Hunter 5 will be patched from the leaking, barnacle-coated wreck that it is now to comparative perfection by autumn, but right here and now it's simply not good enough.

[SteamWake]

while the game holds a protractor and set square up to your masculinity

Wow that dude has issues.

Why on earth was this game rushed? Were they trying to hit the shelves before all those high-profile submarine simulators under development at BioWare and Infinity Ward came out or something?

That is a very good question.