Oldie but goodie

[GoldenRivet]

The rather young indian chief of a very traditionalist tribe is approached by the tribal council and asked for his prediction of the winter weather.

The young chief, unsure of himself says "Let me consult with the great spirits and i will have an answer for you in the morning."

the indian chief makes a phone call to the national weather service and askes the meteorologist "Are you expecting a cold winter?"

the meteorologists says "Yes... it should be pretty cold."

the next day the indian chief addresses his people and says "The winter will be cold, i urge you to gather a good reserve of firewood to appease the great spirits so that we might have a milder winter."

the next day the tribal council approaches the chief "the firewood has been gathered, are the great spirits appeased, will the winter be mild?"

again the indian chief delays his answer and calls the national weather service "Has your forecast for winter changed?" the chief asks

"well, we are in fact expecting the winter to be much much colder than usual." the meteorologist explains

so the chief tells his people "The winter will be very very cold, you should all stock up on great reserves of firewood for the winter months."

the next day the tribal council approaches the chief "we have gathered great amounts of firewood for the tribe, we should surely be well prepared for a cold winter, are the great spirits appeased? will the winter be mild?"

again the chief makes a private phone call to the national weather service and makes his request for an update on the winter forecast.

"well.." says the meteorologist "We are expecting it to be the worst winter on record, with a few feet of snow and sleet, temperatures will be well below freezing for most of the winter months, it looks very bad."

"excuse me..." says the chief "but if you dont mind me asking, how exactly do you know it will be such a bad winter?"

the meteorologists says...

..."because the indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"

[Sledgehammer427]

[GoldenRivet]

that was good enough for more than one giggle i thought

[Zoomer96]

HUSBANDMART

A husband shopping center has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building and you can never re-enter.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be a better husband further up!" And again she heads up another flight.


The fifth floor sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:
You are on Floor 6 - You are visitor 123,456,789,012,345 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at HusbandMart and have a nice day. >

[Task Force]

LOL.:rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

LOL x 2