Socialised Marriage under Obama

09-03-09, 04:44 PM

By Major Robert Dump.

Federalizing banks and GM and insurance and corn farmers works very well so I would like to see socialized marriage next because me and my wife fight a lot and marriage is a failing institution just like GM and CitiBank.

Like sometimes I want to go have beer night but my wife says its snuggle night and we fights. Sometimes I want pot pie for dinner and she want little bunny she strangle for korean dish and we fights. Obama pls help!!!!

I was thinking maybe the government could have a monthly menu that every family had to serve. This would help the economy because stores and diners and Del Rancho could know exactly what to sell and husband and wives would not fight because its the governments fault. Also you could tell your kids to eat their broccoli or they go to jail and it would be true finally (whew!) The Dinner Czar could make up the menu from the food pyramid so you get healthy servings from each food group, and the Dinner Czar would answer to the USDA Czar who answers to the Czar Czar. So like when my wife is mad that she wants starches and fatty oils for dinner I could be like "no we already had that for lunch we need 2 veggies, a meat and a fruit if you don't like it call the Dinner Czar and maybe vote next time."

Also, like the government could say that for example the second and fourth Tuesday of each month was sex night. This would be cool because then when wife wasn't in the mood I could tell her it is her duty to country and call her unpatriotic if she don't like go to town hall meeting until she comes around and BADDA-BING. This would also save us money on health care because then we could know when all babies will be born and the maternity wards in hospitals could close on the weekends and this would also help the golf indistry!!!!

Also there could be movie night so we all had to go to movies and save struggling hollywood from going hungry because omg katie holmes looks so hungry she needs more food pyramid!!!!! The government could also tell us what kind of car to buy for example two car households could have up to one (1) american car made in mexico and up to one (1) asian car made in america and when little Bobby or Suzy need a car at 16 they could get a german one but only if they display the german-permit decal on their window so people don't think we unpatriotic.

This will work, this is future, yes we can!

Shearwater · 09-03-09, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tribesman

I was thinking maybe the government could have a monthly menu that every family had to serve.

We once had that in Germany - the so-called 'Eintopfsonntag', or stew Sunday

Platapus · 09-04-09, 05:38 PM

We used to have Meatless Tuesdays here in the US.

Safe-Keeper · 09-04-09, 09:53 PM

Don't diss socialism. I know you don't like hearing this, and I have stayed in the US and do love the country, but... American marriage care is a disaster.

Now, I know you're going to call me a communist and yell at me for selling the country to The Reds. I know you're going to bring up horrible anecdotes from England, in which everyone is set up against their will with a partner by the State under Universal Husband Care. But the US is the world leader in divorce rates. Go to any dating site and you'll hear enough anecdotes to make even the staunchest right-winger's heart drown in its own bleeding. How much worse does it have to get before you throw in the towel?

I know anecdotes may not mean much, I once knew a wonderful girl... she was 23, and even though she had dropped out of high school she made a living out of her McDonald's job and was steadily putting aside money for studies. She had her whole life ahead of her, and was full of optimism. Then all of a sudden, her father grew tired of waiting for her to grow up and demanded she get married. Since she had no significant other than her pit bull, which the unregulated church of course didn't allow her to marry

(this picking and choosing of clients would never have gone down well in this neck of the woods, lemme tell ya!), she had to go to the altar alone and eat the bills alone - the costs of printing the invitations, holding the wedding ceremony, hiring the photographer, and the expensive party at the town's most exclusive hotel, came to an excess of twenty thousand dollars, which, I stress, she had to pay alone. My friend did the only thing she could do - she filed for bankruptcy, losing her beloved pickup truck, trailer, and double-gauge shotgun, and now lives in my garage...

Look... Opponents of UHC need to realize that some people aren't simply lazy - there are guys and gals out there who simply can't get a girlfriend or boyfriend. I hate to bring up such a flick, but if you watch Sicko! by Michael Moore, you'll meet a man who was so perverted he had to stitch up his broken heart all by his lonesome because the Government refused to provide him with a girl. You'll meet a bunch of guys who was so sick Moore resorted to taking them to Cuba to set them up with the bearded inmates known for doing unspeakable things to each others with frying pans, PC speakers and wooden doors when the guards weren't watching, and not even they wanted them!

A good saying goes that before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Vote yes on Universal Husband Care.

Task Force · 09-04-09, 09:59 PM

Quote:

and when little Bobby or Suzy need a car at 16 they could get a german one but only if they display the german-permit decal on their window so people don't think we unpatriotic.

I could like this...

the sticker would only be little tho right... maby VW will buy pagani... and give the cars away at the price of a VW bettle...

FIREWALL · 09-04-09, 10:08 PM

Aramike · 09-05-09, 02:55 AM

Well, Tribesman, seeing that you're not just another shill has gotten you off my ignore list. Good post. Funny.

SteamWake · 09-05-09, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aramike

Well, Tribesman, seeing that you're not just another shill has gotten you off my ignore list. Good post. Funny.

Heh how could you have read it if he was on your ignore list

August · 09-07-09, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteamWake

Heh how could you have read it if he was on your ignore list

The one time I tried using the ignore list feature as often as not I found myself clicking on their posts anyways.

Aramike · 09-07-09, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteamWake

Heh how could you have read it if he was on your ignore list

Heh, I clicked on the topic and wondered what the hell it was about.

09-03-09, 04:44 PM	#1
Tribesman Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	Socialised Marriage under Obama By Major Robert Dump. Federalizing banks and GM and insurance and corn farmers works very well so I would like to see socialized marriage next because me and my wife fight a lot and marriage is a failing institution just like GM and CitiBank. Like sometimes I want to go have beer night but my wife says its snuggle night and we fights. Sometimes I want pot pie for dinner and she want little bunny she strangle for korean dish and we fights. Obama pls help!!!! I was thinking maybe the government could have a monthly menu that every family had to serve. This would help the economy because stores and diners and Del Rancho could know exactly what to sell and husband and wives would not fight because its the governments fault. Also you could tell your kids to eat their broccoli or they go to jail and it would be true finally (whew!) The Dinner Czar could make up the menu from the food pyramid so you get healthy servings from each food group, and the Dinner Czar would answer to the USDA Czar who answers to the Czar Czar. So like when my wife is mad that she wants starches and fatty oils for dinner I could be like "no we already had that for lunch we need 2 veggies, a meat and a fruit if you don't like it call the Dinner Czar and maybe vote next time." Also, like the government could say that for example the second and fourth Tuesday of each month was sex night. This would be cool because then when wife wasn't in the mood I could tell her it is her duty to country and call her unpatriotic if she don't like go to town hall meeting until she comes around and BADDA-BING. This would also save us money on health care because then we could know when all babies will be born and the maternity wards in hospitals could close on the weekends and this would also help the golf indistry!!!! Also there could be movie night so we all had to go to movies and save struggling hollywood from going hungry because omg katie holmes looks so hungry she needs more food pyramid!!!!! The government could also tell us what kind of car to buy for example two car households could have up to one (1) american car made in mexico and up to one (1) asian car made in america and when little Bobby or Suzy need a car at 16 they could get a german one but only if they display the german-permit decal on their window so people don't think we unpatriotic. This will work, this is future, yes we can!

09-04-09, 05:38 PM	#3
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,365 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	We used to have Meatless Tuesdays here in the US. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

09-04-09, 09:53 PM	#4
Safe-Keeper Ocean Warrior Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Norway Posts: 3,234 Downloads: 11 Uploads: 0	Don't diss socialism. I know you don't like hearing this, and I have stayed in the US and do love the country, but... American marriage care is a disaster. Now, I know you're going to call me a communist and yell at me for selling the country to The Reds. I know you're going to bring up horrible anecdotes from England, in which everyone is set up against their will with a partner by the State under Universal Husband Care. But the US is the world leader in divorce rates. Go to any dating site and you'll hear enough anecdotes to make even the staunchest right-winger's heart drown in its own bleeding. How much worse does it have to get before you throw in the towel? I know anecdotes may not mean much, I once knew a wonderful girl... she was 23, and even though she had dropped out of high school she made a living out of her McDonald's job and was steadily putting aside money for studies. She had her whole life ahead of her, and was full of optimism. Then all of a sudden, her father grew tired of waiting for her to grow up and demanded she get married. Since she had no significant other than her pit bull, which the unregulated church of course didn't allow her to marry (this picking and choosing of clients would never have gone down well in this neck of the woods, lemme tell ya!), she had to go to the altar alone and eat the bills alone - the costs of printing the invitations, holding the wedding ceremony, hiring the photographer, and the expensive party at the town's most exclusive hotel, came to an excess of twenty thousand dollars, which, I stress, she had to pay alone. My friend did the only thing she could do - she filed for bankruptcy, losing her beloved pickup truck, trailer, and double-gauge shotgun, and now lives in my garage... Look... Opponents of UHC need to realize that some people aren't simply lazy - there are guys and gals out there who simply can't get a girlfriend or boyfriend. I hate to bring up such a flick, but if you watch Sicko! by Michael Moore, you'll meet a man who was so perverted he had to stitch up his broken heart all by his lonesome because the Government refused to provide him with a girl. You'll meet a bunch of guys who was so sick Moore resorted to taking them to Cuba to set them up with the bearded inmates known for doing unspeakable things to each others with frying pans, PC speakers and wooden doors when the guards weren't watching, and not even they wanted them! A good saying goes that before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Vote yes on Universal Husband Care. __________________ First Strike Mod tester. Hardcore sub skipper.

09-04-09, 10:08 PM	#6
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	__________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

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09-05-09, 02:55 AM	#7
Aramike Ocean Warrior Best of SUBSIM Chairman Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Milwaukee, WI Posts: 3,207 Downloads: 59 Uploads: 0	Well, Tribesman, seeing that you're not just another shill has gotten you off my ignore list. Good post. Funny.