Humour-Mormons get Payback

[joea]

This is not to bash the Mormons especially, but all the religious, political or environmental groups who go door to door, or as they do here, stand near store, bank, or train station entrances to try to convert/get money for their cause.

Atheist missionaries

[swifty]

It would have been better if it were Agnostic Missionaries. I make it a general rule not to trust any religion that does no allow alcohol, hey at least muslims have mead.

I always found it weird that they sent all the Americans overseas and vice-versa. One would think American would have more success converting
Americans and so on.

[Chock]

The two best things you can do when some bible-thumping moron knocks on your door, are: a) tell them you are a priest, and they will go away. b) invite them into your front room, and then start vacuuming it while they try and talk to you, then ask them to leave when you have completed your vacuuming, explaining that you are busy with housework.

I have done both of these in the past, trust me, it's hard to keep a straight face, but worth it for the laugh.

Chock

[Reaves]

I give them some of my 'special' cookies.

[Ishmael]

When I lived in Longmont, Co., I worked night shift in Denver so I was a day sleeper. I used to get woken up every other morning for over a month by the local bible-thumpers(Mormon & others) proseltyzing. I started meeting them at the door with my copy of the Koran and telling them I would listen to them about Christianity if they would listen to me about submitting to the will of Allah. That usually got rid of them pretty quick, much quicker than acting gay. Then, in the middle of all this, my fence got tagged by some local gangsta wannabes. After I sanded the gang tags off, I went and broke out my flagpoles and flags from Sandy Beach, mounting the poles on the side fence visible down Collier St. for about a mile. I had collected flags of all the countries I visited including many Islamic countries. So I flew all my Muslim flags for about a week.

The results, my fence was never tagged again & the bible-thumpers finally left me alone. I always thought it would be fun to dress up as a Muslim and show up outside one of these mega-churches on Sunday morning passing out free Korans and inviting everyone to submit to the will of Allah. When the parishoners got irate, my answer would be, "Now you know how we feel."

[kiwi_2005]

Originally Posted by swifty

It would have been better if it were Agnostic Missionaries. I make it a general rule not to trust any religion that does no allow alcohol, hey at least muslims have mead.

I always found it weird that they sent all the Americans overseas and vice-versa. One would think American would have more success converting
Americans and so on.

I use to invite these guys in, American Mormons use to come knocking at my door and teach me about their religeon, hey i was curious! Besides i wanted to know what drives these ppl. The Book of Mormon is actually about Jesus who went and preached to the (Now America) Indians way back in **AD or whatever. Then around 1700 A farmers son (always a poor farmers son, why not a govenors son or lawyers son? Nah wouldn't sound right, poor farmers son always works) had a vision from an angel to go and dig up the plates of Mormon & tell the world about the other story of Jesus - in the bible Jesus goes missing for so many yrs hence he was rapping with the indians dude!. Thing is all mormons ive met are white where are the indian missionaries!! All in all they were a nice bunch, they *tried* explained to me the america football rules, we talked alot about america - they were diehard americans - religous patriots in disguise...

Now i haven't seen one for like 5yrs i think they dont preach here anymore?

[Yahoshua]

I usually gave them a death stare and it works, after a couple visits they never came back. I think the barb-wire around the property, My sisters' territorial german sheperd, and then me in my foxhole with a K-98 with the bayonet attached and dressed up in gray (I didn't have any replica uniforms or helmets) probably got them to stop coming around. Dad thought I was a little strange but funny to see their faces, Mom was NOT happy to hear about me doing that.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by kiwi_2005

Then around 1700 A farmers son (always a poor farmers son, why not a govenors son or lawyers son? Nah wouldn't sound right, poor farmers son always works) had a vision from an angel to go and dig up the plates of Mormon & tell the world about the other story of Jesus

1820, actually. Just thought I'd clear that up.

To be honest if they ever came to my house I'd quickly strip naked and answer the door...

"Hello, sorry, was just getting a good wank on, you need anything?"

:rotfl:

[Tchocky]

I try not to be rude, I figure that those guys get enough abuse during the day. Although if they ring at 100% the wrong time, I have to struggle to be nice

"Sorry guys, I'm not interested and I'd only be wasting your time" - usually works.

[fatty]

My room is right by our front entry, so whenever my window is cracked I hear people approaching the door. I like to scurry over and peak at whoever is coming. If there's two of them and they've got ties and pamphlets, I just won't answer.

Once while my car was in the driveway, they were ringing the doorbell and I was spying on them. I heard them swearing to each other - "come on, we !@#$ing know you're home." I laughed and gave myself away