"How Not to Launch the Commandoes" and other stories (pictures)

[Skubber]

"For Extraordinary heroism during the 0 war patrol of that vessel"

Part One: That Vessel





That Vessel, otherwise known as USS Pollack, set out for her 0 war patrol on December 10, 1941.
Our first mission was challenging. My hands were shaking as I read the orders:

"Take detailed photo reconnaissance of your own base."



In the three-to-four minutes that this daunting mission took to complete,
the crew handled themselves like the well-trained sailors that they are.

After assuring command that all our ships were still safe in the harbor, we set sail for the next
stage of our mission.

Part Two: "How Not to Launch the Commandos"

Commando insertion is always difficult and challenging, escpecially for the soldiers who must
secretly and skillfully infiltrate enemy territory.


unorthodox commando insertion

I am not sure if all the commandos made it safely ashore. But I think I am not supposed to know.
That is all part of the secret nature of their operations.







Personally, my opinion is that the upturned inflatable
combined with the flailing paddles, not to mention the loud metallic clanging and banging as they
collided repeatedly with the submarine, were all part of a fantastically well-executed decoy strategy.
During this whole episode the real commandoes were probably already far inland conducting operations.

Part Three: "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry"

Things happen while at sea. Strange things. During storms, ball lightning dances from the rigging. Crewmembers become as transparent as ghosts in the fog. Their eyes pop out of their heads, or glow demoniacally.
Whole ships disappear without a trace.

There is one man who knows what lies behind these mysteries. He is our exec, Stanley S. Sepulcher. If you want to know the secret behing the mystery, just go on and ask him:




Are you sure you don't want to ask him?




He'd really like to get you up on that table, I think...




Part Four: "Braving the Storm"

The hardest parts of our mission behind us, we turned the ship towards home. Except that home
had changed again, and no one had told us. Ahah! Now I understood why HQ wanted that photo reconnaissance.
Our base was about to fall into enemy hands, and they did not want to forget what it looked like!
Genius.

I wish they had remembered to mention the base change, though. But I am sure they had their reasons.

When our patrol was about to come to a close, sure enough a storm came up. Stanley cackled gleefully as the lightning danced from the rigging. He borrowed a cleaver from the cook and began sharpening it. I'm not sure why.

The waves thundered below us as we fired up our MK-1 flying submarine and headed for home.
And that's all there is for this story.