The story begins help please

Tommy111478 · 09-27-06, 12:17 PM

Hello everyone I am new here and new to fiction writing but here are a few lines of a story I am working on feed back is very much appreciated no matter what. I am just wondering if I should continue this or stop even trying.
Thank you all,
Tom

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Kapitanleutnant Wolfgang Guissler stands alone at the end of an abandoned dock in the city of Kiel, Germany. He watches as a lone u-boat slice through the harbors, glass like, still water. Wolfgang gives a silent wave to the watch crew aboard the submarine. He wishes them well on their patrol, and for his own soon to come. Neither Wolfgang nor the crew of the u-boat could know that in seven years 30,000 of their comrades would be laying in watery graves.

Seagulls twist and turn in the air, like Me-109 fighters fighting in the skies over Poland, looking for scraps of fish, as a cold northerly wind bites hard into Wolfgang’s weather hardened face, a face age well beyond his twenty-nine years. Having been in the German navy for the past 10 years the stresses of command in combination with the tough north Atlantic weather have taken their toll on Wolfgang’s looks. Although not an ugly man, or so the ladies in several ports say, small lines have begun to appear around his eyes, eyes the color of the ocean he loves so much. Streaks of grey are appearing along the sides of his dark rusty blonde hair.

As the first rays of sunshine begin to grow from the east Wolfgang turns to leave to dock and begins his long walk towards the Kiel navy yards’ submarine pens and his first command. Since joining the navy Wolfgang has never had a ship to call his own always serving under other captains. Now the U-297 is his and all the responsibilities that come with it.

View Poll Results: Continue or not??
Keep writing! this might be good	10	100.00%
stop!!! you suck	0	0%
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09-27-06, 12:17 PM	#1
Tommy111478 Swabbie Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 13 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	The story begins help please Hello everyone I am new here and new to fiction writing but here are a few lines of a story I am working on feed back is very much appreciated no matter what. I am just wondering if I should continue this or stop even trying. Thank you all, Tom ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kapitanleutnant Wolfgang Guissler stands alone at the end of an abandoned dock in the city of Kiel, Germany. He watches as a lone u-boat slice through the harbors, glass like, still water. Wolfgang gives a silent wave to the watch crew aboard the submarine. He wishes them well on their patrol, and for his own soon to come. Neither Wolfgang nor the crew of the u-boat could know that in seven years 30,000 of their comrades would be laying in watery graves. Seagulls twist and turn in the air, like Me-109 fighters fighting in the skies over Poland, looking for scraps of fish, as a cold northerly wind bites hard into Wolfgang’s weather hardened face, a face age well beyond his twenty-nine years. Having been in the German navy for the past 10 years the stresses of command in combination with the tough north Atlantic weather have taken their toll on Wolfgang’s looks. Although not an ugly man, or so the ladies in several ports say, small lines have begun to appear around his eyes, eyes the color of the ocean he loves so much. Streaks of grey are appearing along the sides of his dark rusty blonde hair. As the first rays of sunshine begin to grow from the east Wolfgang turns to leave to dock and begins his long walk towards the Kiel navy yards’ submarine pens and his first command. Since joining the navy Wolfgang has never had a ship to call his own always serving under other captains. Now the U-297 is his and all the responsibilities that come with it. Last edited by Tommy111478; 09-27-06 at 01:04 PM.