DARWIN AWARD STORIES:WOMEN ARE NOT THE DUMBEST DRIVERS

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DARWIN AWARD RULES: Actual winners must meet the following criteria:

Reproduction
Out of the gene pool: dead or sterile.
Excellence
Astounding misapplication of judgment.
Self-Selection
Cause one's own demise.
Maturity
Capable of sound judgment.
Veracity
The event must be true.

(Arkansas Democrat Gazette):
Two local men were injured when
their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State
Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the
accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and
Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a
frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the
older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available,
Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into
the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting a bullet, the
headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on
eastbound toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling approximately 20
miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated,
discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right,
exited the pavement and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and
abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the
damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.
Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis.
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but
this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this
accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole 's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and if anyone got them from the truck? (AT LEAST SOMETHING ...'CROAKED' ??...MEETS 'GIRL'S GOTTA EAT'' BBY!)
Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result
of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it
can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene
pool.

[Eichhörnchen]

... this could be the best thang I ever seen on here, Billy-Bob

[Reece]

That story brought tears to my eyes, it must have smarts some, very funny!!!

[Platapus]

I am somewhat incredulous that an unconfined .22 round would be able to propel either the slug or the cartridge any appreciable distance and with any dangerous force.
There is a reason why firearm barrels and chambers are designed the way they are.

[Eichhörnchen]

But.... catching frogs?

[Aktungbby]

Originally Posted by Eichhörnchen

But.... catching frogs?

A FAVORITE DELICACY IN THEMTHAR PARTS BBY!

• 1 bulb garlic
• Mushrooms (fresh)
• Bunch of frog legs (given to me by a guy, Scott, who I met at a doughnut store on Sunday morning—it’s a Louisiana thing)
• Butter
• Grapeseed oil
• Flour
• Beer
• White wine
• Seasoning
• More seasoning

Method of Preparation:

1. Soak frog legs in beer for an hour or so.
2. Season: I used our Duck Commander’s Zesty Cajun seasoning, pepper, and blackening seasoning. Roll frog legs in flour, then set aside.
3. In a large black skillet, bring butter and grapeseed oil up to high (don’t burn the butter; it will brown when burning) — not much oil and butter, just enough to brown. If butter gets low, throw another half stick in.
4. When oil and butter start sizzling, working in batches if necessary, brown frog legs on both sides; be careful, they splatter.
5. Set browned frog legs to side. Now, with what’s left in the pan (which is the best of, what’s left), add white wine, garlic (whole pods, peeled), and mushrooms, and cook for a few minutes.
6. Add all your frog legs back in on top of this, put lid on, and cook in oven for about 30 minutes at 300ºF, according to how big the legs are (these tonight were huge) so they didn’t cook fully in the browning process. If they are small, then cook less.
7. Meat will be falling off the bone

1. A CAJUN STYLE APPETIZER TO MAIN SQUIRREL COURSE:
   Ready in: 2 hours 45 minutes
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • 3 large squirrels, skinned and gutted
   • 1/2 cup butter
   • 2 onions, sliced
   • 3 tablespoons white vinegar
   • 1/8 teaspoon dried thyme
   • salt and pepper to taste
   • 18 pitted prunes
   • 1 1/2 teaspoons all-purpose flour
   • 1 cup cold water
   1. Clean squirrels thoroughly and pat dry. Cut into 1-inch cubed pieces.
   2. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
   3. Over medium heat, melt the butter in a large skillet. Add squirrel and fry until just browned, about 6 minutes. Add the squirrel pieces to a large Dutch oven or crock.
   4. Meanwhile add onions to the butter in the skillet. Cook until tender and browned, stirring occassionally. Pour the onions and butter into the pot with the squirrel.
   5. Fill the pot with enough water to almost cover the meat. Add the vinegar and season with thyme, salt and pepper. Cover and place in the oven.
   6. Bake for 1 hour. Remove from the oven and add the prunes. Return to the oven and reduce the heat to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Continue baking for another 45 minutes.
   7. Remove the pot from the oven, and use a slotted spoon to remove the meat and prunes. Move to a serving dish.
   8. Mix the flour and cold water together in a cup. Set the pot on the stove and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Stir in the flour and water and simmer, stirring constantly, until it turns to thick gravy and is able to coat a metal spoon.
   9. Serve the squirrel and prunes topped with gravy. REQUIRED READINGTHE TITLE IS SNARKY; THE CONTENT IS NOT!)

      More than 200 recipes and 45 full-color photographs celebrate 25 years of good eatin’ in this original regional Southern cooking classic

[Skybird]

Heck, no frogs as well in my squirrel burgers...!

[Eichhörnchen]

Looking at the photo on that book cover, this cooking seems to have had a strange effect upon Ernest Matthew Mickler

[Aktungbby]

TURKEY ANATOMY GOES VIRAL 101! https://www.jacarandafm.com/shows/workzone-mack-rapapali/boy-mistakes-turkeys-neck-male-private-part-hilarious-video/