The Oldest Joke in the Book... Plus 11 Others!

Fr8monkey · 07-11-14, 07:44 PM

It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes:

"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

I don't get it either.

The others...

Admiral Halsey · 07-11-14, 07:55 PM

Taken from the comments there as it's quite appropriate.

Fr8monkey · 07-11-14, 08:04 PM

Guess you had to be there. 4,000 years from now, modern jokes will probably suck too.

Stealhead · 07-11-14, 09:12 PM

I get it. It is saying that women(most) tend to avoid farting in the company of men.

Not that funny but I get the gist.

A better way to put it.....

Something that has never happened;a young woman farting on her husbands lap.

Think about it I bet every girlfriend,wife you have known did not break wind intrinsically in your presence for a good while.

In anicent Summaria the wife likely did not meet her husband until just prior to marriage thus increasing the time span of feeling free to fart openly.

Jimbuna · 07-12-14, 04:49 AM

Sounds like a load of hot air.

TarJak · 07-12-14, 05:06 AM

Sumerian fart jokes don't age well.

Wolferz · 07-12-14, 06:01 AM

Considering the ages of Sumerian children when they were betrothed, it is more likely that the wife might poop in her husbands lap.

Jimbuna · 07-12-14, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TarJak

Sumerian fart jokes don't age well.

Rumour would have it they're real stinkers.

vienna · 07-12-14, 12:36 PM

Odd, I thought this was the oldest:

<O>

Fr8monkey · 07-12-14, 12:48 PM

No. Oldest English joke, maybe. The Sumerians predated that by 3500 years.

Armistead · 07-12-14, 02:17 PM

I have never heard my wife break wind in 18 years...she says a lady must not do that...

and breaking wind is a mood killer for her, hell, I've turned purple and doubled over in pain holding one in....

Wolferz · 07-14-14, 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

I have never heard my wife break wind in 18 years...she says a lady must not do that...

and breaking wind is a mood killer for her, hell, I've turned purple and doubled over in pain holding one in....

It is not healthy to suppress bodily functions.

vanjast · 07-14-14, 07:51 AM

'Better out, than in' ... says the big green guy

Garion · 07-14-14, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

I have never heard my wife break wind in 18 years...she says a lady must not do that...

and breaking wind is a mood killer for her, hell, I've turned purple and doubled over in pain holding one in....

My wife is NOT a lady, we have farting contests in bed during the winter, free heat with little effort.

Ah, the Joys of ageing

Must post this before she sees it .......

Cheers

Gary

vanjast · 07-14-14, 01:44 PM

Ja.. but you live in Scotland !!

07-11-14, 07:44 PM	#1
Fr8monkey Captain Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 518 Downloads: 62 Uploads: 0	The Oldest Joke in the Book... Plus 11 Others! It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." I don't get it either. The others... __________________ NASA's budget in 2011... $19 billion. Result: Hi-resolution images from 127 million miles away. AT&T's budget in 2011... $20 billion. Result: Still can't get any signal from my bathroom.

07-11-14, 08:04 PM	#3
Fr8monkey Captain Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 518 Downloads: 62 Uploads: 0	Guess you had to be there. 4,000 years from now, modern jokes will probably suck too. __________________ NASA's budget in 2011... $19 billion. Result: Hi-resolution images from 127 million miles away. AT&T's budget in 2011... $20 billion. Result: Still can't get any signal from my bathroom.

07-11-14, 09:12 PM	#4
Stealhead Navy Seal Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Kentucky Posts: 5,421 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	I get it. It is saying that women(most) tend to avoid farting in the company of men. Not that funny but I get the gist. A better way to put it..... Something that has never happened;a young woman farting on her husbands lap. Think about it I bet every girlfriend,wife you have known did not break wind intrinsically in your presence for a good while. In anicent Summaria the wife likely did not meet her husband until just prior to marriage thus increasing the time span of feeling free to fart openly. Last edited by Stealhead; 07-11-14 at 09:35 PM.

07-12-14, 04:49 AM	#5
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,473 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Sounds like a load of hot air. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

07-12-14, 06:01 AM	#7
Wolferz Navy Seal Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a mighty quest for the Stick of Truth Posts: 5,963 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	Considering the ages of Sumerian children when they were betrothed, it is more likely that the wife might poop in her husbands lap. __________________ Tomorrow never comes

07-11-14, 07:55 PM	#2
Admiral Halsey Best Admiral in the USN Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: USS Enterprise (CV-6) Posts: 1,740 Downloads: 317 Uploads: 0	Taken from the comments there as it's quite appropriate.

07-12-14, 05:06 AM	#6
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	Sumerian fart jokes don't age well.

07-12-14, 12:36 PM	#9
vienna Navy Seal Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Anywhere but the here & now... Posts: 7,711 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Odd, I thought this was the oldest: <O> __________________ __________________________________________________ __

07-12-14, 12:48 PM	#10
Fr8monkey Captain Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 518 Downloads: 62 Uploads: 0	No. Oldest English joke, maybe. The Sumerians predated that by 3500 years. __________________ NASA's budget in 2011... $19 billion. Result: Hi-resolution images from 127 million miles away. AT&T's budget in 2011... $20 billion. Result: Still can't get any signal from my bathroom.

07-12-14, 02:17 PM	#11
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	I have never heard my wife break wind in 18 years...she says a lady must not do that... and breaking wind is a mood killer for her, hell, I've turned purple and doubled over in pain holding one in.... __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

07-14-14, 07:51 AM	#13
vanjast Sea Lord Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Somewhere else now Posts: 1,733 Downloads: 825 Uploads: 4	'Better out, than in' ... says the big green guy

07-14-14, 01:44 PM	#15
vanjast Sea Lord Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Somewhere else now Posts: 1,733 Downloads: 825 Uploads: 4	Ja.. but you live in Scotland !!