Thank you all for your support

frau kaleun · 06-17-11, 07:40 PM

I didn't want the Werewolf thread to get too bogged down with it, so I just want to say here: thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts and words regarding the death of my mother.

I am doing okay, we were estranged for many years due to a host of issues (as was the case with most everyone else in her life, sadly) but things had eased up as her health went into rapid decline over the past six months. It is still difficult to deal with, in some ways maybe more so because of that. It's hard to grieve the loss of the kind of relationship you never really had, especially when you've long since made your peace with that fact - but there's also the part where you know there will never ever be any chance to have it. C'est la vie, I guess.

She got very good care during that time both from the wonderful people who work for the local hospice program and from one of my aunts and her daughter, who fortunately were available and willing to take extended turns as daily caregivers so she always had someone around that she recognized as family. They all made it possible for her to spend the time she had left in her own home and not in a hospital or nursing home.

In the end both my sister and I got to spend some "quality time" with her within a few hours of her passing overnight, and even though she couldn't say anything we are certain she knew who we were and that we were there with her. We are immensely grateful for whatever extra measure of peace that may have given her in her final hours. She seemed to have made her mind up several days ago that she was "done" and went quietly in her sleep; something else for which to be thankful.

Again, thanks so much, your support is very much appreciated, more so than words can ever express. As I mentioned to someone privately earlier today, it turned out to be a good week to stock up on the Beethoven. So now I will turn again to the marvelous Ninth, one of my happiest of happy places (even in moments such as these), and maybe have a good solid cry somewhere around the middle of the third movement. The maestro will be there at the end to remind me, as he always does, that happiness and sadness may come and go, but the joy he celebrates is always with us.

Froh, froh! Wie seine Sonnen fliegen
durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan,
laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,
freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen.

Seid umschlungen, Millionen!
Diesen Kuss der ganzen Welt!

Gladly - gladly! Like his suns fly
through the heavens' glorious map,
run your course, brothers,
joyfully, like a hero to victory.

Be embraced, you millions!
This kiss to the whole world!

Dan D · 06-17-11, 08:00 PM

August · 06-17-11, 08:17 PM

My sincere condolences to you and your family Frau.

Castout · 06-17-11, 08:28 PM

You have my sympathy. Losing any family member is never easy, no matter how it had been. My condolences to you and your family.

Torplexed · 06-17-11, 08:44 PM

Over the river they beckon to me,
Loved ones who've crossed to the farther side,
The gleam of their snowy robes I see,
But their voices are lost in the dashing tide.

My deepest condolences on your loss Frau.

Reece · 06-17-11, 09:53 PM

Very sad to hear of your loss Frau, please accept my condolences, hopefully you have close friends there to comfort you.

All the best.

Reece.

RedMenace · 06-18-11, 12:14 AM

I didn't get along very well with my mother either, she's pretty stressful and is a three-time divorcee, but I still love her and respect all the effort she's put into making me come out as well as I have. I'm always worried she'll die before I get a chance to make peace with her.

I'm sorry for your loss, frau, but it's so nice that she was in good care and in good company before she went.

Schroeder · 06-18-11, 04:05 AM

I'm sorry for your loss Frau Kaleun. My thoughts are with you.

06-18-11, 04:11 AM

I too, am sorry for your loss.

Platapus · 06-18-11, 06:54 AM

Very sad. I hope your mother died with some dignity and little pain.

Feuer Frei! · 06-18-11, 07:40 AM

My Condolences and best wishes to you and your loved ones in this time of Sorrow and Distress.

Onkel Neal · 06-18-11, 06:25 PM

Takeda Shingen · 06-20-11, 08:26 AM

You have my condolances and you and your loved ones will be in my thoughts.

Penguin · 06-20-11, 09:29 AM

Sorry to hear about your loss, Frau! I wish you and your relatives much strength for the next days. All my best wishes!

frau kaleun · 06-20-11, 07:21 PM

I know I've said it before but it bears repeating: thanks again to everyone here for all your kindness and support. It really does mean a lot and as always I'm continually impressed by the level of camaraderie and genuine goodwill that prevails here. It really is a thing of beauty and everyone involved from Neal on down needs to pat themselves on the back at least once a day for being a part of what makes Subsim the great community that it is.

So... she's in the ground as of this morning, next to dad. I looked at my sister as we were leaving the cemetery and said, "Well, at least we won't have to do that again."

My brother - who is not on the family's Top Ten Nice Guys list, to make a very long story short - made it in for the service and the thing we were really concerned about was whether or not he was going to be a complete tool about settling the estate (our mother made one of our uncles the executor and gave him power of attorney a few years back specifically to keep our brother from having, or getting, any control over how it was done). So far, it hasn't turned out that way which is both a surprise and a blessing. There are still a lot of things, including the house, that will have to be sold or given away - and certain things that mom specified were to go to certain people - but so far there has been no acrimony over who gets what or whether or not some particular item "means more" to this person or that.

But the sheer enormity of going through everything is just wearing us all out right now. If nothing else it may cure me of any packrat tendencies I may have, good grief that woman kept EVERYTHING. I now have a full record of all the immunizations I received as an infant, so in case anyone was wondering, yes I've had all my shots.

Anyway - thank you all again SO MUCH.

06-17-11, 07:40 PM	#1
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	Thank you all for your support I didn't want the Werewolf thread to get too bogged down with it, so I just want to say here: thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts and words regarding the death of my mother. I am doing okay, we were estranged for many years due to a host of issues (as was the case with most everyone else in her life, sadly) but things had eased up as her health went into rapid decline over the past six months. It is still difficult to deal with, in some ways maybe more so because of that. It's hard to grieve the loss of the kind of relationship you never really had, especially when you've long since made your peace with that fact - but there's also the part where you know there will never ever be any chance to have it. C'est la vie, I guess. She got very good care during that time both from the wonderful people who work for the local hospice program and from one of my aunts and her daughter, who fortunately were available and willing to take extended turns as daily caregivers so she always had someone around that she recognized as family. They all made it possible for her to spend the time she had left in her own home and not in a hospital or nursing home. In the end both my sister and I got to spend some "quality time" with her within a few hours of her passing overnight, and even though she couldn't say anything we are certain she knew who we were and that we were there with her. We are immensely grateful for whatever extra measure of peace that may have given her in her final hours. She seemed to have made her mind up several days ago that she was "done" and went quietly in her sleep; something else for which to be thankful. Again, thanks so much, your support is very much appreciated, more so than words can ever express. As I mentioned to someone privately earlier today, it turned out to be a good week to stock up on the Beethoven. So now I will turn again to the marvelous Ninth, one of my happiest of happy places (even in moments such as these), and maybe have a good solid cry somewhere around the middle of the third movement. The maestro will be there at the end to remind me, as he always does, that happiness and sadness may come and go, but the joy he celebrates is always with us. Froh, froh! Wie seine Sonnen fliegen durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan, laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn, freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen. Seid umschlungen, Millionen! Diesen Kuss der ganzen Welt! Gladly - gladly! Like his suns fly through the heavens' glorious map, run your course, brothers, joyfully, like a hero to victory. Be embraced, you millions! This kiss to the whole world!

06-17-11, 08:00 PM	#2
Dan D Grey Wolf Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: 9th Flotilla Posts: 839 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	__________________

06-17-11, 08:17 PM	#3
August Wayfaring Stranger Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 23,197 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	My sincere condolences to you and your family Frau. __________________ Flanked by life and the funeral pyre. Putting on a show for you to see.

06-17-11, 08:28 PM	#4
Castout Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Jakarta Posts: 4,794 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 6	You have my sympathy. Losing any family member is never easy, no matter how it had been. My condolences to you and your family. __________________ My blog: http://exposingsingapore.wordpress.com/

06-17-11, 09:53 PM	#6
Reece CINC Pacific Fleet Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Down Under Posts: 34,688 Downloads: 171 Uploads: 0	Very sad to hear of your loss Frau, please accept my condolences, hopefully you have close friends there to comfort you. All the best. Reece. __________________ *Sub captains go down with their ship!*

06-17-11, 08:44 PM	#5
Torplexed Let's Sink Sumptin' ! Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 5,823 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	Over the river they beckon to me, Loved ones who've crossed to the farther side, The gleam of their snowy robes I see, But their voices are lost in the dashing tide. My deepest condolences on your loss Frau.

06-18-11, 12:14 AM	#7
RedMenace Chief Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 319 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	I didn't get along very well with my mother either, she's pretty stressful and is a three-time divorcee, but I still love her and respect all the effort she's put into making me come out as well as I have. I'm always worried she'll die before I get a chance to make peace with her. I'm sorry for your loss, frau, but it's so nice that she was in good care and in good company before she went. __________________

06-18-11, 04:05 AM	#8
Schroeder Navy Seal Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Banana Republic of Germany Posts: 6,170 Downloads: 62 Uploads: 0	I'm sorry for your loss Frau Kaleun. My thoughts are with you. __________________ Putting Germ back into Germany.

06-18-11, 04:11 AM	#9
Snestorm Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	I too, am sorry for your loss.

06-18-11, 06:54 AM	#10
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Very sad. I hope your mother died with some dignity and little pain. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

06-18-11, 07:40 AM	#11
Feuer Frei! Navy Seal Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Valhalla Posts: 5,295 Downloads: 141 Uploads: 17	My Condolences and best wishes to you and your loved ones in this time of Sorrow and Distress. __________________ "History is the lies that the victors agree on"- Napoleon LINK TO MY SH 3 MODS

06-18-11, 06:25 PM	#12
Onkel Neal Born to Run Silent Join Date: Jan 1997 Location: Cougar Trap, Texas Posts: 21,383 Downloads: 541 Uploads: 224	__________________ SUBSIM - 26 Years on the Web

06-20-11, 08:26 AM	#13
Takeda Shingen Navy Seal Join Date: Mar 2000 Posts: 8,643 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	You have my condolances and you and your loved ones will be in my thoughts.

06-20-11, 09:29 AM	#14
Penguin Ocean Warrior Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Rheinische Republik Posts: 3,322 Downloads: 92 Uploads: 0	Sorry to hear about your loss, Frau! I wish you and your relatives much strength for the next days. All my best wishes!

06-20-11, 07:21 PM	#15
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	I know I've said it before but it bears repeating: thanks again to everyone here for all your kindness and support. It really does mean a lot and as always I'm continually impressed by the level of camaraderie and genuine goodwill that prevails here. It really is a thing of beauty and everyone involved from Neal on down needs to pat themselves on the back at least once a day for being a part of what makes Subsim the great community that it is. So... she's in the ground as of this morning, next to dad. I looked at my sister as we were leaving the cemetery and said, "Well, at least we won't have to do that again." My brother - who is not on the family's Top Ten Nice Guys list, to make a very long story short - made it in for the service and the thing we were really concerned about was whether or not he was going to be a complete tool about settling the estate (our mother made one of our uncles the executor and gave him power of attorney a few years back specifically to keep our brother from having, or getting, any control over how it was done). So far, it hasn't turned out that way which is both a surprise and a blessing. There are still a lot of things, including the house, that will have to be sold or given away - and certain things that mom specified were to go to certain people - but so far there has been no acrimony over who gets what or whether or not some particular item "means more" to this person or that. But the sheer enormity of going through everything is just wearing us all out right now. If nothing else it may cure me of any packrat tendencies I may have, good grief that woman kept EVERYTHING. I now have a full record of all the immunizations I received as an infant, so in case anyone was wondering, yes I've had all my shots. Anyway - thank you all again SO MUCH.