There was once...

mookiemookie · 04-11-11, 03:51 PM

...a train operator who had been driving trains for well over 20 years. Over the course of his career, he had experienced a number of close calls in the accident department. At long last, sadly, he hit a schoolbus full of children on its way out of the elementary school parking lot, killing every single one of them.

Unsurprisingly, he was put on trial for a number of counts of manslaughter in the first degree. After several hours of deliberation, he was convicted and the judge sentenced him to death by means of the electric chair.

For his last meal, the unskilled train driver requested his grandmother's homemade macaroni and cheese. The warden of his temporarily assigned prison was hesitant at first, but eventually agreed that it was the least he could do for the man who was going to die in a few hours.

After scarfing down his grandmother's meal and saying his goodbyes, the man was brought to the electric chair. The executioner strapped him in and threw the switch. Three times they tried to electrocute the man. Three times it failed. Not knowing what to do, the befuddled executioner unstrapped him and led him out of the room to attempt a different means of execution.

On the way out, the veteran guard at the door insisted on asking the man how he had possibly survived the electric chair. In all his years of working, he had never seen a single person survive such a fate. He asked: "How'd you do it, man? Was it your grandmother's macaroni? Are you some sort of messiah? What's your secret?"

The man shrugged his shoulders, scratched his head, and thought for a moment. Finally, he replied:

"No secret. I suppose I'm just a bad conductor, that's all."

Betonov · 04-11-11, 04:01 PM

hahahhaha, capital pun

vienna · 04-12-11, 01:26 PM

Here all week, tip your waitresses, try the veal!

AVGWarhawk · 04-12-11, 02:13 PM

I don't get it?

J/K

frau kaleun · 04-12-11, 03:19 PM

I'm shocked - SHOCKED - to find punning going on in this establishment.

Tchocky · 04-12-11, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

I'm shocked - SHOCKED - to find punning going on in this establishment.

This whole forum has gone off the rails

Weiss Pinguin · 04-12-11, 05:03 PM

Sounds like it's time to breaker out the pun-masks!

frau kaleun · 04-12-11, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tchocky

This whole forum has gone off the rails

It's ohmly one thread, don't blow a fuse over it. I'd hate to see things get amped up to the point where someone gets brigged for using caboosive language.

vienna · 04-12-11, 05:40 PM

Quote:

I'm shocked - SHOCKED - to find punning going on in this establishment.

Here are your winnings, Frau Kaleun...

Jimbuna · 04-12-11, 05:41 PM

I'd hate to see anybody putting their membership here on the line because of one ill-thought response.

Tchocky · 04-12-11, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

I'd hate to see anybody putting their membership here on the line because of one ill-thought response.

Next stop, brig!

frau kaleun · 04-12-11, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vienna

Here are your winnings, Frau Kaleun...

Thank you.

Now go round up the usual suspects.

Rhodes · 04-12-11, 06:08 PM

What a shocking pun of events...!!!!!!!!!!

Growler · 04-12-11, 06:15 PM

What a load y'all're hauling. Might I recommend a different track, before this whole thing gets so tied up and sidetracked that Neal or Neon put a spike in it? Neon's lock would certainly be the end of the line, and that'd ruin your timetables, wouldn't it? I mean, is it really worth getting all steamed over?

Tchocky · 04-12-11, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Weiss Pinguin

Sounds like it's time to breaker out the pun-masks!

I, for one, never leave home without my Swiss Army pun-knife!

04-11-11, 03:51 PM	#1
mookiemookie Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 9,404 Downloads: 105 Uploads: 1	There was once... ...a train operator who had been driving trains for well over 20 years. Over the course of his career, he had experienced a number of close calls in the accident department. At long last, sadly, he hit a schoolbus full of children on its way out of the elementary school parking lot, killing every single one of them. Unsurprisingly, he was put on trial for a number of counts of manslaughter in the first degree. After several hours of deliberation, he was convicted and the judge sentenced him to death by means of the electric chair. For his last meal, the unskilled train driver requested his grandmother's homemade macaroni and cheese. The warden of his temporarily assigned prison was hesitant at first, but eventually agreed that it was the least he could do for the man who was going to die in a few hours. After scarfing down his grandmother's meal and saying his goodbyes, the man was brought to the electric chair. The executioner strapped him in and threw the switch. Three times they tried to electrocute the man. Three times it failed. Not knowing what to do, the befuddled executioner unstrapped him and led him out of the room to attempt a different means of execution. On the way out, the veteran guard at the door insisted on asking the man how he had possibly survived the electric chair. In all his years of working, he had never seen a single person survive such a fate. He asked: "How'd you do it, man? Was it your grandmother's macaroni? Are you some sort of messiah? What's your secret?" The man shrugged his shoulders, scratched his head, and thought for a moment. Finally, he replied: "No secret. I suppose I'm just a bad conductor, that's all." __________________ They don’t think it be like it is, but it do. Want more U-boat Kaleun portraits for your SH3 Commander Profiles? Download the SH3 Commander Portrait Pack here.

04-12-11, 02:13 PM	#4
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,253 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	I don't get it? J/K __________________ “You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road

04-12-11, 05:03 PM	#7
Weiss Pinguin Ocean Warrior Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Auburn, Alabama Posts: 3,333 Downloads: 101 Uploads: 0	Sounds like it's time to breaker out the pun-masks! __________________

04-12-11, 05:41 PM	#10
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,473 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I'd hate to see anybody putting their membership here on the line because of one ill-thought response. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-12-11, 06:08 PM	#13
Rhodes Silent Hunter Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Figueira da Foz, Portugal Posts: 4,515 Downloads: 110 Uploads: 0	What a shocking pun of events...!!!!!!!!!! __________________ http://www.flickr.com/photos/16416646@N05/

04-11-11, 04:01 PM	#2
Betonov Navy Seal Join Date: May 2009 Location: Slovenia Posts: 8,647 Downloads: 26 Uploads: 0	hahahhaha, capital pun

04-12-11, 01:26 PM	#3
vienna Navy Seal Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Anywhere but the here & now... Posts: 7,711 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Here all week, tip your waitresses, try the veal!

04-12-11, 03:19 PM	#5
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	I'm shocked - SHOCKED - to find punning going on in this establishment.

04-12-11, 06:15 PM	#14
Growler A long way from the sea Join Date: May 2005 Location: Iowa Posts: 1,913 Downloads: 21 Uploads: 0	What a load y'all're hauling. Might I recommend a different track, before this whole thing gets so tied up and sidetracked that Neal or Neon put a spike in it? Neon's lock would certainly be the end of the line, and that'd ruin your timetables, wouldn't it? I mean, is it really worth getting all steamed over? __________________ At Fiddler’s Green, where seamen true When here they’ve done their duty The bowl of grog shall still renew And pledge to love and beauty.