My wife is being unreasonable. Need advice

Telemon · 11-30-10, 08:30 AM

Greetings from frozen England.
I need advice. My wife is being unreasonable.
I’m playing SH3/GWX and I’m trying for full realism.
Last night it dawned on me that although ‘in game’ it was Feb ’40 in mid Atlantic with 15mtrs + winds here was I sitting in my warm (60F/20C) corner in the lounge with bikkies and hot cocoa to hand.
This was not right, not real, faked, I was a hypocrite!!
I went upstairs and put on my cold weather gear, sou’wester and rubber boots. Came down and opened wide the patio door. This was more like it. minus 4C and a bit of wind and snow. Soon there was a film if ice on my cocoa. But it still didn’t feel quite realistic enough so I asked my wife to go out and fetch a bucket of water from the pond and throw it over me. This was it; true realism.
For some reason now she’s a bit niggled, sniffling and the silence is deafening.
How can I convince her that we submariners take our game seriously?

ediko · 11-30-10, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Telemon

Greetings from frozen England.
I need advice. My wife is being unreasonable.
I’m playing SH3/GWX and I’m trying for full realism.
Last night it dawned on me that although ‘in game’ it was Feb ’40 in mid Atlantic with 15mtrs + winds here was I sitting in my warm (60F/20C) corner in the lounge with bikkies and hot cocoa to hand.
This was not right, not real, faked, I was a hypocrite!!
I went upstairs and put on my cold weather gear, sou’wester and rubber boots. Came down and opened wide the patio door. This was more like it. minus 4C and a bit of wind and snow. Soon there was a film if ice on my cocoa. But it still didn’t feel quite realistic enough so I asked my wife to go out and fetch a bucket of water from the pond and throw it over me. This was it; true realism.
For some reason now she’s a bit niggled, sniffling and the silence is deafening.
How can I convince her that we submariners take our game seriously?

Sometimes,just sometimes

....it doesn't feel....

right

May I suggest a divorce mate? You could then turn you're whole house into a big refrigerator and put some red lamps everywhere.

Well, the more simpler option would be to set sail for Africa with you're Kaleun, but surely the less fun one?

frau kaleun · 11-30-10, 08:47 AM

Refuse to allow her in the room while you are playing, citing the longheld belief that a woman on board your boat will anger the sea gods. Unless the sea is already angry, in which case you should demand that she only enter the room if completely naked.

I would also suggest that you refuse to bathe, shave, or change your underwear for the duration of your patrol. I think this will add the kind of hardcore immersion you're looking for and show her just how seriously you take your subsimming.

As an added bonus, by the time you get back to base she will probably have run off with a flashy and much better-smelling fighter pilot. Realism!

Kpt. Lehmann · 11-30-10, 09:00 AM

If none of those suggestions work... you should spank her!

But then again, she may like that!

< SWAPISHHHH!!!! Who's yer Kapitan babeh!?! Who's yer Kapitan??? SWAPISHHH!!! >

< Why YOU ARE my Kapitan! You are my love!!! Smoochie! SMOOCHEH!!! >

Sailor Steve · 11-30-10, 09:38 AM

You might as well follow Frau K's advice, as it's a lost cause anyway. Even if you take good care of yourself sooner or later you'll come home to find the letter:

"Dear Johann..."

Me? Cynical? No way! Depressive and fatalistic, sure...

Herr-Berbunch · 11-30-10, 09:50 AM

It's all in the biccies, you'll need to leave them in alternatively in a warm, damp place, then a cold damp place (removed from wrappings), for three weeks, then enjoy...!

Divorce could make you out to be the loser, so I suggest a word in the *party member's* ear mentioning her comments about how the war would be inevitably lost, and how nice that von Stauffenberg was.

kapuhy · 11-30-10, 10:26 AM

Having already gone so far towards total realism, you may as well go all the way:

http://webarchive.nationalarchives.g...s/how-to-join/

This also comes with the bonus of reversing the effect that your hobby has on your relation with women - for some odd reason they seem to like actual sailors a lot more than bank accountants pretending to be sailors. Don't know why, maybe it's the uniform thing...

Mittelwaechter · 11-30-10, 10:31 AM

BE MORE AGGRESSIVE!

Obviously her chain from the kitchen is too long.

irish1958 · 11-30-10, 11:09 AM

PM me for the telephone number of my law firm Cheetem, Screwwwwem, Swindle, and O'Fraudly.
A letter from them should settle the matter and get her back in the kitchen where she belongs. For further insurance against her invading your privacy, scatter glass fragments in front of your man-cave, so she will cut her feet if she tries to enter. (I assume you have already followed the dictum to keep her barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen.)

derrinurban · 11-30-10, 11:51 AM

First mates can be so tempermental.

Perhaps a week of extra duties or maybe have her confined to her rack (just in case you need a break).

Jimbuna · 11-30-10, 05:01 PM

I can recommend a good geordie firm of solicitors...Hadaway and Sh!te

Sailor Steve · 11-30-10, 09:23 PM

Ahem. My card.

CARD:
Sailor Steve, Attorney At Large.
Dewey, Cheatham and Howe
Serving your Legal Needs. Ambulances chased for a small extra fee.
http://www.subsim.com/phpBB_archive1...ic.php?t=26613

NightCrawler · 11-30-10, 09:50 PM

There is a saying here in US, just give her "DICK", than smoke than she can clean the dishes, and you can play SHIII....

NightCrawler · 11-30-10, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Telemon

Greetings from frozen England.
I need advice. My wife is being unreasonable.
I’m playing SH3/GWX and I’m trying for full realism.
Last night it dawned on me that although ‘in game’ it was Feb ’40 in mid Atlantic with 15mtrs + winds here was I sitting in my warm (60F/20C) corner in the lounge with bikkies and hot cocoa to hand.
This was not right, not real, faked, I was a hypocrite!!
I went upstairs and put on my cold weather gear, sou’wester and rubber boots. Came down and opened wide the patio door. This was more like it. minus 4C and a bit of wind and snow. Soon there was a film if ice on my cocoa. But it still didn’t feel quite realistic enough so I asked my wife to go out and fetch a bucket of water from the pond and throw it over me. This was it; true realism.
For some reason now she’s a bit niggled, sniffling and the silence is deafening.
How can I convince her that we submariners take our game seriously?

When was your last drug-test???? make appointment tomorrow....

J/K....

CodyLang · 12-01-10, 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mittelwaechter

BE MORE AGGRESSIVE!

Obviously her chain from the kitchen is too long.

HAHAHAHA

11-30-10, 08:30 AM	#1
Telemon Helmsman Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 103 Downloads: 288 Uploads: 0	My wife is being unreasonable. Need advice Greetings from frozen England. I need advice. My wife is being unreasonable. I’m playing SH3/GWX and I’m trying for full realism. Last night it dawned on me that although ‘in game’ it was Feb ’40 in mid Atlantic with 15mtrs + winds here was I sitting in my warm (60F/20C) corner in the lounge with bikkies and hot cocoa to hand. This was not right, not real, faked, I was a hypocrite!! I went upstairs and put on my cold weather gear, sou’wester and rubber boots. Came down and opened wide the patio door. This was more like it. minus 4C and a bit of wind and snow. Soon there was a film if ice on my cocoa. But it still didn’t feel quite realistic enough so I asked my wife to go out and fetch a bucket of water from the pond and throw it over me. This was it; true realism. For some reason now she’s a bit niggled, sniffling and the silence is deafening. How can I convince her that we submariners take our game seriously?

11-30-10, 09:00 AM	#4
Kpt. Lehmann GWX Project Director Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: The Republic of Texas Posts: 6,993 Downloads: 124 Uploads: 0	If none of those suggestions work... you should spank her! But then again, she may like that! < SWAPISHHHH!!!! Who's yer Kapitan babeh!?! Who's yer Kapitan??? SWAPISHHH!!! > < Why YOU ARE my Kapitan! You are my love!!! Smoochie! SMOOCHEH!!! > __________________ www.thegreywolves.com All you need is good men. - Heinrich Lehmann-Willenbrock

11-30-10, 09:38 AM	#5
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	You might as well follow Frau K's advice, as it's a lost cause anyway. Even if you take good care of yourself sooner or later you'll come home to find the letter: "Dear Johann..." Me? Cynical? No way! Depressive and fatalistic, sure... __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

11-30-10, 09:50 AM	#6
Herr-Berbunch Kaiser Bill's batman Join Date: May 2010 Location: AN72 Posts: 13,203 Downloads: 76 Uploads: 0	It's all in the biccies, you'll need to leave them in alternatively in a warm, damp place, then a cold damp place (removed from wrappings), for three weeks, then enjoy...! Divorce could make you out to be the loser, so I suggest a word in the party member's ear mentioning her comments about how the war would be inevitably lost, and how nice that von Stauffenberg was. __________________

11-30-10, 10:31 AM	#8
Mittelwaechter The Old Man Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,304 Downloads: 35 Uploads: 0	BE MORE AGGRESSIVE! Obviously her chain from the kitchen is too long. __________________ 10 happy wolves rear 90 blinded, ensnared sheep. 90 happy sheep banish the wolves. Arrest the 1% - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ6hg1oNeGE

11-30-10, 08:47 AM	#3
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	Refuse to allow her in the room while you are playing, citing the longheld belief that a woman on board your boat will anger the sea gods. Unless the sea is already angry, in which case you should demand that she only enter the room if completely naked. I would also suggest that you refuse to bathe, shave, or change your underwear for the duration of your patrol. I think this will add the kind of hardcore immersion you're looking for and show her just how seriously you take your subsimming. As an added bonus, by the time you get back to base she will probably have run off with a flashy and much better-smelling fighter pilot. Realism!

11-30-10, 10:26 AM	#7
kapuhy Grey Wolf Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Poland Posts: 874 Downloads: 72 Uploads: 3	Having already gone so far towards total realism, you may as well go all the way: http://webarchive.nationalarchives.g...s/how-to-join/ This also comes with the bonus of reversing the effect that your hobby has on your relation with women - for some odd reason they seem to like actual sailors a lot more than bank accountants pretending to be sailors. Don't know why, maybe it's the uniform thing...

11-30-10, 11:09 AM	#9
irish1958 Ocean Warrior Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Carmel, Indiana Posts: 3,250 Downloads: 320 Uploads: 11	PM me for the telephone number of my law firm Cheetem, Screwwwwem, Swindle, and O'Fraudly. A letter from them should settle the matter and get her back in the kitchen where she belongs. For further insurance against her invading your privacy, scatter glass fragments in front of your man-cave, so she will cut her feet if she tries to enter. (I assume you have already followed the dictum to keep her barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen.) __________________ Irish1958

11-30-10, 11:51 AM	#10
derrinurban Mate Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada Posts: 54 Downloads: 33 Uploads: 0	First mates can be so tempermental. Perhaps a week of extra duties or maybe have her confined to her rack (just in case you need a break).

11-30-10, 05:01 PM	#11
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,481 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I can recommend a good geordie firm of solicitors...Hadaway and Sh!te __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

11-30-10, 09:23 PM	#12
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Ahem. My card. CARD: Sailor Steve, Attorney At Large. Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Serving your Legal Needs. Ambulances chased for a small extra fee. http://www.subsim.com/phpBB_archive1...ic.php?t=26613 __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

11-30-10, 09:50 PM	#13
NightCrawler Engineer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: FLA USA Posts: 217 Downloads: 7 Uploads: 0	Having Sex before playing SHIII There is a saying here in US, just give her "DICK", than smoke than she can clean the dishes, and you can play SHIII....