Zergkrieg - A HOI2 AAR

Oberon · 11-21-09, 11:10 AM

ZERGKRIEG

or

'Right you Soviet bastards, this time I mean it...'

or

'Oberon gets his backside handed to him by the Soviets yet again'.

A long time ago, in a Reich far far away, a meeting was taking place between the Fuhrer and his top planners.

"Right you lot...this is the fourth time I've played this game and every time I get my arse handed to me by the Russians. So this time we're going to play it different!"

The Fuhrer unrolled a series of maps across the tables in front of them, making the generals gasp.

"But mein Fuhrer, this...this...is ahistorical!"

Hitler pounded the map with his fists.

"And I'm hysterical! Every time we crush the Polish, trounce the French...and even invade and occupy the British Isles only to get our arses handed to us by the Soviets! We even tried leaving the Soviets alone...only to get invaded by them!! We have to focus our forces on one target to have maximum success!"

A more aspiring General by the name of von Kluge peered at the map and pointed at Poland.

"What of Poland?"

Hitler pointed at Von Ribbentrop

"You...Make friendly with the Poles, if you can sign a treaty with Molotov then you can sign a treaty with the damn Polish. That puts us a step closer to Moscow and gets the British and French off our backs, oh, and get the Romanians in as well if you can."

"And the Italians and Japanese?" asked Von Ribbentrop

"The Italians are a liability and the Japanese are on the wrong side of the planet. We can buddy up to them later."

Von Kluge looked at the map again.

"And how are we to destroy the Soviets?"

Hitler grinned manically

"Ja, this is the question...and I have the answer!"

Another roll of paper was thrown on the table.

"Mein Kameraden, Unternehmen Zerg!"

"Instead of building industries, we will build tanks...lots and lots of tanks! And we must research doctrine for Blitzkrieg, and designs for tanks and mechanised infantry. Then we will unleash the mother of all Zerg rushes on the Soviet Union when they least expect it! Dismissed!!"

The Fuhrer laughed manically as the generals filed out. Von Manstein turned to Guderian.

"I give him...one chance in three..."
"Humph...if that..."

11-21-09, 11:10 AM	#1
Oberon Lucky Jack Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,976 Downloads: 61 Uploads: 20	Zergkrieg - A HOI2 AAR ZERGKRIEG or 'Right you Soviet bastards, this time I mean it...' or 'Oberon gets his backside handed to him by the Soviets yet again'. A long time ago, in a Reich far far away, a meeting was taking place between the Fuhrer and his top planners. "Right you lot...this is the fourth time I've played this game and every time I get my arse handed to me by the Russians. So this time we're going to play it different!" The Fuhrer unrolled a series of maps across the tables in front of them, making the generals gasp. "But mein Fuhrer, this...this...is ahistorical!" Hitler pounded the map with his fists. "And I'm hysterical! Every time we crush the Polish, trounce the French...and even invade and occupy the British Isles only to get our arses handed to us by the Soviets! We even tried leaving the Soviets alone...only to get invaded by them!! We have to focus our forces on one target to have maximum success!" A more aspiring General by the name of von Kluge peered at the map and pointed at Poland. "What of Poland?" Hitler pointed at Von Ribbentrop "You...Make friendly with the Poles, if you can sign a treaty with Molotov then you can sign a treaty with the damn Polish. That puts us a step closer to Moscow and gets the British and French off our backs, oh, and get the Romanians in as well if you can." "And the Italians and Japanese?" asked Von Ribbentrop "The Italians are a liability and the Japanese are on the wrong side of the planet. We can buddy up to them later." Von Kluge looked at the map again. "And how are we to destroy the Soviets?" Hitler grinned manically "Ja, this is the question...and I have the answer!" Another roll of paper was thrown on the table. "Mein Kameraden, Unternehmen Zerg!" "Instead of building industries, we will build tanks...lots and lots of tanks! And we must research doctrine for Blitzkrieg, and designs for tanks and mechanised infantry. Then we will unleash the mother of all Zerg rushes on the Soviet Union when they least expect it! Dismissed!!" The Fuhrer laughed manically as the generals filed out. Von Manstein turned to Guderian. "I give him...one chance in three..." "Humph...if that..."