Drafting Guys over 60

Onkel Neal · 12-11-08, 09:38 AM

Drafting Guys over 60
(I apologize if that has already been posted-NS)

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional sec onds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some jerk that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical towel head.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I 've never seen anyone out run a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million ticked off old guys with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

Dowly · 12-11-08, 09:43 AM

:rotfl:

bookworm_020 · 12-11-08, 04:33 PM

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I'm waiting to see photos of an old guy on an electric buggy with a machine gun attached!

subchaser12 · 12-11-08, 04:36 PM

This is the best idea I have heard in awhile. Since it's 60+ year old men who start the wars in the first place I think they should have to go and fight them. :p

bookworm_020 · 12-11-08, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by subchaser12

This is the best idea I have heard in awhile. Since it's 60+ year old men who start the wars in the first place I think they should have to go and fight them. :p

This would allow the young to go out get drunk, have fun, tease old people about them going off to fight a stupid pointless war and help reduce the crowding in retirement homes, and create space in hospitals! I'm all for it!

Let send politicans and lawyers first! No one will miss them!

CaptainHaplo · 12-11-08, 09:18 PM

Actually - this has merit - at least making sure your 30+ or so. Because once you get to a certain age (though it varies for each person) - you get tired of the PC bullcrap and then those fighting the wars would say screw it and get it done right the first time - and quick. No namby pamby rules of engagement - if its doesnt have an american flag on the left shoulder, you shoot it - if it moves - you shoot it again.

Sure there would be some innocents killed - ok we should be merciful and just drop a few bombs on em. Still - get it done. That way we can go back home to our cold beer and golf.

Edit - at the least - any war would be started and finished between the super bowl and draft day.

FIREWALL · 12-11-08, 09:45 PM

@ bookworm 020

Soooooo.....

You"de ..." tease old people about them going off to fight a stupid pointless war and help reduce the crowding "

You'de be the first notch on my weapon's stock. :p :rotfl:

bookworm_020 · 12-11-08, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainHaplo

No namby pamby rules of engagement - if its doesnt have an american flag on the left shoulder, you shoot it - if it moves - you shoot it again.

Sure there would be some innocents killed

Hey remember that there other people fighting there who are on your side fighting under different flags! So don't don't shoot everyone!

Then again after hearing how some troops act in the field, it wouldn't matter what flag they flew they'd shoot at it!

Quote:

You'de be the first notch on my weapon's stock

You would be too tired to lift the weapon to aim and your arthritis would me you couldn't pull the trigger!

Just a pity my knee's playing up, so we would have to sit there and trade insults!

subchaser12 · 12-11-08, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainHaplo

No namby pamby rules of engagement - if its doesnt have an american flag on the left shoulder, you shoot it - if it moves - you shoot it again.

Sure there would be some innocents killed

Well sadly the 18 year old crowd did just that. It had the nasty consequence of giving birth to the insurgency though that is raging to this day.

Hylander_1314 · 12-12-08, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm_020

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainHaplo

No namby pamby rules of engagement - if its doesnt have an american flag on the left shoulder, you shoot it - if it moves - you shoot it again.

Sure there would be some innocents killed

Hey remember that there other people fighting there who are on your side fighting under different flags! So don't don't shoot everyone!

Then again after hearing how some troops act in the field, it wouldn't matter what flag they flew they'd shoot at it!

Quote:

You'de be the first notch on my weapon's stock

You would be too tired to lift the weapon to aim and your arthritis would me you couldn't pull the trigger!

Just a pity my knee's playing up, so we would have to sit there and trade insults!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Jimbuna · 12-12-08, 12:13 PM

Just tell me which direction to point this thing

Reminds me of one of my favourite old soldier jokes. :p

An elderly English gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The English gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. All Englishmen have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained;

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any f*cking Frenchmen to show it to."

12-12-08, 02:45 PM

I know for a fact that a whole bunch of sixty-year-olds would be a lot better soldiers than some young city dwellers. Especially in for example winter conditions where one would have to be able to ski for long periods and utilise the surrounding nature for food/shelter/cover/etc. Hell, a sixty-year-old might do quite well in pretty much any military role.

But you're right, I wish the old dudes who decide to fight wars would be the ones fighting it out.

Dowly · 12-12-08, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Just tell me which direction to point this thing

Reminds me of one of my favourite old soldier jokes. :p

An elderly English gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The English gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. All Englishmen have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained;

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any f*cking Frenchmen to show it to."

Priceless! :rotfl:

Task Force · 12-12-08, 03:29 PM

Wow, just think, 60 year olds going off to war.:hmm: Never thought about it.

Jimbuna · 12-12-08, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dowly

Priceless! :rotfl:

12-11-08, 09:38 AM	#1
Onkel Neal Born to Run Silent Join Date: Jan 1997 Location: Cougar Trap, Texas Posts: 21,383 Downloads: 541 Uploads: 224	Drafting Guys over 60 Drafting Guys over 60 (I apologize if that has already been posted-NS) New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35. For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional sec onds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some jerk that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while. An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical towel head. If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I 've never seen anyone out run a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million ticked off old guys with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night! Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it. __________________ SUBSIM - 26 Years on the Web Last edited by Onkel Neal; 12-11-08 at 09:43 AM.

12-11-08, 04:33 PM	#3
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I'm waiting to see photos of an old guy on an electric buggy with a machine gun attached! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

12-11-08, 09:18 PM	#6
CaptainHaplo Silent Hunter Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 4,404 Downloads: 29 Uploads: 0	Actually - this has merit - at least making sure your 30+ or so. Because once you get to a certain age (though it varies for each person) - you get tired of the PC bullcrap and then those fighting the wars would say screw it and get it done right the first time - and quick. No namby pamby rules of engagement - if its doesnt have an american flag on the left shoulder, you shoot it - if it moves - you shoot it again. Sure there would be some innocents killed - ok we should be merciful and just drop a few bombs on em. Still - get it done. That way we can go back home to our cold beer and golf. Edit - at the least - any war would be started and finished between the super bowl and draft day. __________________ Good Hunting! Captain Haplo Last edited by CaptainHaplo; 12-11-08 at 09:19 PM.

12-11-08, 09:45 PM	#7
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	@ bookworm 020 Soooooo..... You"de ..." tease old people about them going off to fight a stupid pointless war and help reduce the crowding " You'de be the first notch on my weapon's stock. :p :rotfl: __________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

12-12-08, 12:13 PM	#11
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,473 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just tell me which direction to point this thing Reminds me of one of my favourite old soldier jokes. :p An elderly English gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready." The English gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. All Englishmen have to show their passports on arrival in France!" The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look. Then he quietly explained; "Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any fcking Frenchmen to show it to." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.* Oh my God, not again!!

12-11-08, 09:43 AM	#2
Dowly Lucky Jack Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 25,052 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	:rotfl:

12-11-08, 04:36 PM	#4
subchaser12 Sonar Guy Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Spam, duplicate accounts, provoking moderators. Posts: 377 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	This is the best idea I have heard in awhile. Since it's 60+ year old men who start the wars in the first place I think they should have to go and fight them. :p

12-12-08, 02:45 PM	#12
OneToughHerring Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	I know for a fact that a whole bunch of sixty-year-olds would be a lot better soldiers than some young city dwellers. Especially in for example winter conditions where one would have to be able to ski for long periods and utilise the surrounding nature for food/shelter/cover/etc. Hell, a sixty-year-old might do quite well in pretty much any military role. But you're right, I wish the old dudes who decide to fight wars would be the ones fighting it out.

12-12-08, 03:29 PM	#14
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Wow, just think, 60 year olds going off to war.:hmm: Never thought about it. __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"