Science Reveals Heaviest Element Ever Discovered

[SUBMAN1]

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it a mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes, not to mention multiple oxymorons.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. That hypothetical quantity might normally be called critical mass but, in this unique case it is known as critical mess.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (Am), another just-discovered element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Author Unknown

[CptSimFreak]

:rotfl:

[bookworm_020]

Not surprised to find out about this element, just wondering how long it took to find it as it's in abundance!

[Geno_Mariner]

:rotfl::rotfl: Ah, I love Chemistry jokes XD This is a really good one

[kurtz]

Laughed and laughed.

@Geno one more chemistry joke; Where do you get mercury from?...HG Wells.

mmm suit yourself

[joegrundman]

The senior professor of chemistry takes his yearly cost estimate to the financing department of the university.

The senior finance admin looks appalled at the cost. "You really need all this equipment?" he asks.

" Mass spectroscope, nuclear magnetic resonance imager, all these chemicals, glassware, safety equipment? Why can't you be more like the physicists? All they need is paper, pencils and erasers."

Then the admin thinks for a bit and says "In fact, why can't you be more like the philosophers? All they need is paper and pencils!"

OK, it's more of a physicist's joke.

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by bookworm_020

Not surprised to find out about this element, just wondering how long it took to find it as it's in abundance!

Your not kidding :rotfl:

[kurtz]

Originally Posted by SUBMAN1

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), Author Unknown

I assume the Author is English otherwise it would be governmentum.

I know just a sly dig at simplified spelling