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Old 07-31-07, 11:21 PM   #1
fenian
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Default Maybe my sonarman was suicidal?

Leave Lorient in good weather, and three days enroute lousy weather high seas, rain pure muck. No sense beating up the boys so dive down get a little rest and a hot meal in them. The wardroom cook does a bang up job some French dish he must have learned from that baker's wife he has been banging. Her husband say's he ran off but we know he is in a POW camp. So feeling good still lousy up top down to 16m. Put some platters on the grammaphone nothing better than Charlie and his Orchrastra and some good Kriegsmarine chourus to kill time. When suddenly "we have been detected sir" and pinging all over...... No sense to stay put off goes the tunes, deeper I yell and run for the sonar room. The lousy SOB is tearfully staring some boob job he saw while downloading the newest codes! Damm Adult Friend Finder! and Terrapin! silent speed hard port while depth charges come down as in space can anyone hear you scream as the hull implodes............
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Old 08-01-07, 01:17 AM   #2
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It sucks to go down that way
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Old 08-01-07, 01:25 AM   #3
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Bad weather can mess up your hearing...
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Old 08-01-07, 01:30 AM   #4
Canovaro
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This post is dedicated to the most stupid sonar man I ever had!

He fails to notice ships even at 200 meters! It's always the same "no sounds detected".

When I attacked a convoy last night, he was so useless and stupid that I kicked him around the boot and throwed him in damage control. I also pissed off because the torpedoes never hit their target, didn't know why.
Then it came out they did and I detroyed the tanker, but the sonar man never noticed it

Seriously, I have never had such a bad sonar guy aboard
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Old 08-01-07, 02:16 AM   #5
Kaleu. Jochen Mohr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canovaro
This post is dedicated to the most stupid sonar man I ever had!

He fails to notice ships even at 200 meters! It's always the same "no sounds detected".

When I attacked a convoy last night, he was so useless and stupid that I kicked him around the boot and throwed him in damage control. I also pissed off because the torpedoes never hit their target, didn't know why.
Then it came out they did and I detroyed the tanker, but the sonar man never noticed it

Seriously, I have never had such a bad sonar guy aboard
you found your bernard :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
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Old 08-01-07, 04:39 AM   #6
Jimbuna
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canovaro
This post is dedicated to the most stupid sonar man I ever had!

He fails to notice ships even at 200 meters! It's always the same "no sounds detected".

When I attacked a convoy last night, he was so useless and stupid that I kicked him around the boot and throwed him in damage control. I also pissed off because the torpedoes never hit their target, didn't know why.
Then it came out they did and I detroyed the tanker, but the sonar man never noticed it

Seriously, I have never had such a bad sonar guy aboard
Get him suitably qualified and select 'report nearest contact' periodically
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Old 08-01-07, 04:44 AM   #7
Canovaro
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jimbuna
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canovaro
This post is dedicated to the most stupid sonar man I ever had!

He fails to notice ships even at 200 meters! It's always the same "no sounds detected".

When I attacked a convoy last night, he was so useless and stupid that I kicked him around the boot and throwed him in damage control. I also pissed off because the torpedoes never hit their target, didn't know why.
Then it came out they did and I detroyed the tanker, but the sonar man never noticed it

Seriously, I have never had such a bad sonar guy aboard
Get him suitably qualified and select 'report nearest contact' periodically
Yeah he's just a bootsman, but he has a sonar qualification.
When I select 'report nearest contact' most of the time he just doesn't hear anything or he reports a contact that is further away.

And I think I can only give him a medal or promote him to do better.
In real life it's the other way around
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Old 08-01-07, 05:24 AM   #8
SmokinTep
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I've been nailed before in rough, foggy weather. Seems like they come out of nowhere.
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Old 08-01-07, 06:37 AM   #9
Reverie
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He's a real so-nar man
sitting in his so-nar land
making all his so-nar plans
for no-o body

Reverie
with apologies to The Beatles
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Old 08-01-07, 07:26 AM   #10
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I sent my crew to the School of Professor Rubini

Got them back sharpened and battleready

Have a look at "Stay alert Crew-fix"...


....
thanks for the little poem, Reverie! :rotfl:
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Old 08-01-07, 07:45 AM   #11
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That's a great mod Now his ears should be good for at least 30 klicks
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Old 08-03-07, 07:34 AM   #12
Stealth Hunter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canovaro
This post is dedicated to the most stupid sonar man I ever had!

He fails to notice ships even at 200 meters! It's always the same "no sounds detected".

When I attacked a convoy last night, he was so useless and stupid that I kicked him around the boot and throwed him in damage control. I also pissed off because the torpedoes never hit their target, didn't know why.
Then it came out they did and I detroyed the tanker, but the sonar man never noticed it

Seriously, I have never had such a bad sonar guy aboard
I use SH3 Commander. I've had about 2 in the past that have been bad, so I've had them all... "removed" via my Commander. No more problems! Maybe not LEGAL, but hey, I haven't had a crap sonar operator since. I do not tolerate failures aboard my boat.

Last edited by Stealth Hunter; 08-03-07 at 07:07 PM.
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Old 08-03-07, 07:36 AM   #13
Kaleu. Jochen Mohr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stealth Hunter
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canovaro
This post is dedicated to the most stupid sonar man I ever had!

He fails to notice ships even at 200 meters! It's always the same "no sounds detected".

When I attacked a convoy last night, he was so useless and stupid that I kicked him around the boot and throwed him in damage control. I also pissed off because the torpedoes never hit their target, didn't know why.
Then it came out they did and I detroyed the tanker, but the sonar man never noticed it

Seriously, I have never had such a bad sonar guy aboard
I use SH3 Commander. I've had about 2 in the past that have been bad, so I've had them all... "removed" via my Commander. No more problems! Maybe not LEGAL, but hey, I haven't had a crap sonar operator since. I do not tolerate failures aboard my boat.
there's always a Bernard on board
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Old 08-03-07, 08:05 AM   #14
siber
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I don't understand why sonor operators suddenly 'switch off'.

Tracking a contact creeping up on me, I ask the sonor man to follow the approaching merchant. He calls out each and every degree change until 42 degrees, then "No sound contact"

WHADDAYAMEAN, NO SOUND CONTACT??? It's there loud and clear about 2km away at 41 degrees... Even on sweep mode, he doesn't reacquire the contact...

Whywhywhy???
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Old 08-03-07, 08:11 AM   #15
bigboywooly
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Sonar ops switch off as they get tired
May not be enough to show fatigue but low enough not to listen properly
That and the fact if a contact is dead ahead or astern the sonar cant hear it
Dead spots
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